180 days - I’ve found out that PMO was a part of a bigger addiction. Yep, it’s the internet.
Privet NoFap, fellow nofapper from Russia is here again!
Another 90 days of NoFap have passed and I’ve reached 180 days total. I’m really happy to be here!
I want share a few insights from my journey so far.
It gets a lot easier after day 100. First weeks were the real battle but now it’s much easier. I still have urges, but it’s ok for me. I guess it’s our human nature. I just don’t act on them. The idea to masturbate to relax, increase mood or deal with stress looks absurd to me now. “Oh yeah, a good old fap will definitely solve my problems. Haha, hell no.”
I still watch porn occasionally and it’s fucking hilarious. Sometimes my curiosity drives me to pornsites, but really, I can’t even stand it for more than 10 minutes. What aroused me 180 days ago now works as a comedy show. “LOL what are they doing” is my most common reaction to all the action. My dick is rarely giving signs of life when I watch this stupid stuff and it’s the opposite when I’m with my girlfriend.
But still, I need to stop watching porn. Even for 10 minutes a week. Even for a good laugh. There’s no point in it.
PMO is shit compared to internet addiction. Being masturbation-free is a no-brainer to me now — I just don’t touch my dick. But I’ve found out that PMO was a part of a bigger addiction. Yep, it’s the internet. I’m really addicted to social media and lots of other web stuff. I’d be happy to unplug but my work is heavily connected with online interaction so it’s a tricky thing. I’m still trying to figure it out. I promise to give you updates on my battle in my future reports.
90 days later, dedication is still the key. I’ve said it 90 days ago (read my first report here: http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/2mjlxx/are_you_dedicated_how_i_got_to_day_90_on_my_first/) and I’ll say it again. When something needs to be done, dedication is your only option. I’m dedicated to my battle with PMO. I guess I’m not so dedicated to my battle with internet addiction. Deep inside my heart I know that this “oh but my work is internet-related” bullshit is just an excuse. And all “I relapsed but...” stuff I see here everyday is the same. My favorite type of posts is “Lessons learned from my relapse”. It’s like your relapse was beneficial and helped you a lot. Who are you kidding? Really guys, we’ve got to stop fucking around and get serious.
Stakes are rising. My journey has already taken half a year but the way back will take only 10 minutes. Relapsing is always an option but failure is not. I must be vigilant.
I’ll be happy to answer your questions. AMA and stay strong, brothers! I’ll report again when I reach day 270.
90 DAY REPORT - ARE YOU DEDICATED? How I got to day 90 on my first try
Privet NoFap, fellow fapstronaut from Russia here. English is not my native language so sorry for my grammar.
Last time I PMO’d was August 19. I jerked off and soon a thought came to my mind. It was like ’Man, you live together with your SO, have sex and still watch porn on a daily basis. That's fucked up. You’re addicted.’
So I googled ’porn addiction’, watched YBOP, found this subreddit and decided to quit PMO immediately. I thought that my addiction wasn’t that big, but looking back 90 days later I understand that I craved for porn (and not for my SO) almost everytime. Still, I managed to get here on my first try.
I’ve got five tips that I want to share with you.
1. Educate yourself if you’re new to this. Around day 22 I had sex with my SO. Two days later my brain was like ’Oh shit you gotta jerk off RIGHT NOW!’. That urge was REALLY strong! I thought it was crazy, like, I've already orgasmed with my SO not so long ago, WTF? I decided not to follow the urge until I’ll discover what was happening. And oh yeah, it was the chaser effect. Now I know it and I’m prepared. Every time the chaser comes I just think something like ’Oh, you again. That's nice’.
I had some flatline periods around weeks 4-6, but since I've already knew about them it was easier to go through hard times.
Educate yourself. It really helps.
2. Don’t exaggerate the problem. OK, so you’re addicted to PMO. That means... that you’re just addicted to PMO. And nothing else. And PMO is just PMO. It is not some diabolical invention from the depths of hell that makes your life miserable. You know, there's a lot of talk about superpowers here. So why do you attribute some random evil superpowers to PMO? Sometimes I read this subreddit and think like ’Gosh, it looks like these guys are battling some mighty demon that controls people and forces them to jerk off to porn’.
Stop. What you’re trying to do is to abstain or recover from PMO. It’s not some heroic crusade or the quest to save the world. Don’t exaggerate the problem and it will be much easier to deal with it.
3. Set a measurable goal. I don’t think that going nofap till you die is a proper goal because the fastest way to reach it is suicide. 90 days easy mode, 30 days hard mode — these are much better. You’re not Alice and this is not Wonderland. You’re a Fapstronaut and that means you gotta know where you're going. And when you’ve reached your goal, just look back a bit and set a new one.
4. Forget about good and bad. So you’ve relapsed on day 3 and you feel like shit. Some PMO will ease the pain and make you feel good, huh? Or maybe you’ve reached day 20 and it’s your longest streak yet. You feel like you deserve some reward for your good performance. And what is the best reward for porn addict? Of course it’s PMO!
See where I'm going? Thinking about yourself and your decisions in terms of good and bad is useless. It just harms your progress.
5. Dedication is the key. Forget about good and bad. Fuck motivation, it comes and goes. The only thing that matters is your dedication. Your goal is your main priority. Whenever you’re depressed, feel an urge, flatlining or getting a chaser, just ask yourself: ’What should I do right now to get closer to my goal?’ Most of the time the answer is simple: don’t masturbate. Read this subreddit instead. Yeah, you’ll have bad days and feel like you want to stop. That’s ok. Don’t get too emotional. Act on your goal and not on your urges. And that’s that.
So tell me, are you dedicated?
As for me, my next goal is going PMO-free until New Year. And after that... I don’t know, but a full year of nofap sounds cool to me :)
Ask me anything!