90 Days in 9 Years - A clear mind, stronger focus, increased social relationships, increased happiness, better understanding of myself
I started this challenge when I was just a young teen. It was just something to see if I could do at first, but I soon realized just how addicted I was. I've been trying to quit ever since, but as many of you know, it's not so easy. Times get hard with frustrations, complications, and temptations. I fell many, many times and I immersed myself in PMO. Yet each time I did so, I eventually wanted to quit. I'm not sure why, but no matter how hard I tried to convince myself that PMO was alright, socially-acceptable, "Au-Natural", I ended up trying to quit.
Fast forward a decade or so. I learn about NoFap and join up. It's just what I wanted. Finally, I’m 90 days clean. It's quite unreal. Benefits: A clear mind, stronger focus, increased social relationships, increased happiness, better understanding of myself, and a slight tinge of accomplishment
• Have a good reason to stop. It's much more difficult to do this thing on the spur of the moment. I know some people who have done it without one, but I personally find it much, much more difficult.
"He who has a why to live, can bear almost any how" - Friedrich Nietzsche
• Keep track of your progress. This is more important for the first two months or so. Being able to see real, countable progress not only provides a little reward of satisfaction, but can be a tool in proving to yourself you're making actual progress. Even ONE DAY above your previous record is still one day above your old self.
"If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story" - Orson Welles
• Cold Showers. Do it. They have like, 5 times more benefits than a hot one. That being said, remember that it's not the cold shower that stops you from PMO. It's you through and through. That single decision to forsake the pleasure of a nice hot shower, for the disciplined, scream-inducing, adrenaline pumping, definition-of-uncomfortable, freezing cold shower is in essence, the very soul of NoFap.
"I may never be the biggest, nor the strongest...But I can always be the bravest" - Jacob Acebo
• NoFap and PornFree should go hand-in-hand. Porn basically increases the chance of PMO by basically 1000%. Think of it this way: without porn, your chance of success should be closer to 90%. With porn, your chances are closer to the single digits. Why? Because MO by itself is not as appealing. Porn is the bread and butter in this game, so tread carefully around it. You can still make it if you look at porn, but your chances are much, much lower. Consider the PornFree badge. It really helps.
"The first step to getting anywhere is deciding you're no longer willing to stay where you are" - Anonymous
• Every day is danger day. Imagine PMO to be an addiction to eating chocolate. It's an easily accessible commodity, available everywhere. Tons of people eat chocolate everyday. It's a billion dollar commodity. Even if you avoid chocolate for 90 days, chances are you'll one day come face to face with an all-too-tempting opportunity to take a bite of that sweet, sweet bar. Do yourself a favour and be ready for it. Fortify yourself so that when the offer comes up, you can say "No. Maybe I'll give in one day, but I know it's definitely not today. Because I said so." And then proceed to throw that bar of chocolate out of the window, and get back to eating the savoury, delicious, and adventurous meal known as life.
"The best way to predict the future is to create it" - Peter Drucker
• Here's something I keep in a .txt on my desktop to help me: When you have a craving, recognize it for what it is. You might as well enjoy the rush, it's like a freebie you don't get to control. By being scared of the feeling, you induce more anxiety and shame that may lead you to act out. Instead, recognize your lack of control over the craving, let the experience happen, and go on with your life. If the experience is overwhelming, make sure there's someone you can talk to about it (a therapist, partner, parent, or 12 step sponsor). As time passes your cravings will become less and less frequent, though without specific treatment, their intensity will likely not go away. Cravings are a part os the reality of addiction - knowing what to do with them is a key to success.
"One of the most profound concepts in psychology is the fact that when you do something (actions), your emotions follow along behind. If you wait around to feel good or non-anxious, you'll be waiting forever. You need to start doing, then you will become." - Sean Cooper
I think that's enough tips for today. I have a lot more, but I'm afraid of making this too long. 91 days in, I'd like to keep going to 365 hopefully, as I have no intention of going back. I don't know if I'll make it in the end, but I know I can make it today. That's what I tell myself everyday. And then I do it. Stay strong, fap/femstronauts! It only takes one day at a time.
"It always seems impossible until it's done" - Nelson Mandela
EDIT: Wow, that formatting sucks. No idea how to change it. My bad people
LINK -90 Days in 9 Years