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Thank you for this site. You guys are my heroes.

I'm a 23 year old athletic guy. 11 days ago, as I was putting on a condom, I became too soft to penetrate my girlfriend:( But after a mere 11 porn free days (where I suffered from insomnia, headaches, fatique and depression), I was able to have great sex with my girlfriend!!!

I heart yourbrainonpornXD

Thanks for hearting us.
We love to hear success stories. It seems as though you caught yourself fairly early in the process, because 11 days is relatively short time to recover. Way to go. What is interesting is that you still suffered definitive withdrawal symptoms.
It's good to get your mojo back.

When you went 11 days without porn, did you also masturbate during this time? If so, did this help with the process?

This site is a tremendous resource. I'm just starting my reboot now. I've managed to go a month or so without porn or masturbating before, but once I reached that milestone I figured I'd proved my point and went back to using. Meanwhile I have all the symptoms of an overtaxed reward system -- weak libido, worsening ED, no ejaculation without fantasizing, etc. I always figured these problems were caused by depression and the medication I've taken for it, but now I wonder if the depression in fact is a byproduct of the porn abuse. (I've used since I was a young teen, about 25 years now, and it's basically been a daily habit, though I wouldn't say I've been driven toward more extreme stuff.) So this time, I want to stop permanently. Maybe then I can have a real sex life with my wonderful, too patient wife.

But we figure people may like to choose from the many different resources available at the "Support" link.

Good luck with your reboot.

I'm 33, porn discovered via VHS tapes my mom and dad had in their VCR when I went to watch a movie.

Then, I searched there room for more, and found they were renting on an almost weekly basis. I was hooked then. I masturbated multiple times a day. I never really slowed down that much. Then, of course I only watch Internet porn now. I watch so much of it, it's sickening and has taken over my life for a LONG time.

I pretty much avoided contact with females b/c of my shyness at first. Now, I"m 33 and have had very few relationships. I found out that I can't have sex easily, or if at all. I must use Cialis or a generic form of the drug, and even that isn't working that well, if at all. I eventually lost all sensitivity, and even when I was able to have intercourse, I felt nothing. So, I"m able to last a LONG time if I'm able to get it up, which is rare.

So, I found this site, and looked at the videos, and have ALL the symptoms you had in the videos. I'm on day 9 of my recovery. I have very little to no libido, or desire right now. My penis feels limp and sometimes my testicles even feel slightly numb (not by touch, just by the feeling).

I went to the urologist 6 months ago, but didn't follow through with the blood test,etc.

Thank you for this site. I'm praying!! I have a full recovery! I'm done with Porn for good, and want to see what living life, and have a real relationship with a woman is like, or just what life is like in general after this is all resolved.

Oh, and really I don't even want a girlfriend b/c it's just a hassle for me even though I'm extremely attracted to girls. Just that porn has desensitized all my feelings if that makes sense. Hoping this will change b/c being lonely is boring.

Porn discovered by me at age 10

Sounds like you are on the right path. Your lack of libido and dead penis is a common withdrawal scenario for those suffering from porn-induced ED. Have you checked links to other users accounts, such as:
http://yourbrainonporn.com/erectile-dysfunction-question (follow the links)
http://yourbrainonporn.com/i-quit-using-porn-and-now-i-feel-worse
http://yourbrainonporn.com/what-does-withdrawal-from-porn-look-like

Know that you can recover your sexuality. Be patient and persistent. If you use porn again, simply stop using it, and get back on the horse, so to speak.

Gary,

Thanks for the links. Those links pretty much tell my story. It's going to take awhile, but I'm really at the point now in my life that I'm ready to take control of the situation. I'm on night number 9 now, bring on night 10 and so on!

I don't have any symptoms now other than the dead penis, and the slight numbing felling downstairs in the testicles as I said before. I"m sure I'll get some cravings eventually b/c I really haven't seen too many attractive girls the last week or so, lol. I guess working with all guys helps me in this case.

But, I realize I need to get out an socialize. I've been more productive lately too. I haven't felt really tired, and I'm a really healthy person other than this sexual problem. I work out pretty much every day, and eat right for the most part.

Porn discovered by me at age 10

Oh, and another symptom I've had for years, is that I prefer to be alone. This is day 10, and it's not as bad as yesterday. I was a little depressed yesterday, and felt like I wanted to actually talk to people/not be alone.

Today, I helped my father out in his yard plant a dozen trees. So, some father/son bonding took place, so I don't feel as depressed tonight. I"m going to go do a workout now.

No desire, no libido today. I always wondered why I didn't mind to be alone until now. I know that Porn has affected my entire life, and I want to be normal.

Porn discovered by me at age 10

is very soothing. Sorry you're experiencing some moodiness, but that's normal during the reboot. Good for you, making it this far.

Most of us here on the site have started watching porn around our teenage years. It is very hard to give up the whole thing cold turkey, but it is extremely beneficial. I personally like the fact that I can live without it, and that by trying not to relapse; I don't need it to "get off". I've been fighting this for a while, but I've learned that commitment goes a long way! Stay strong bud!

Ive had ed for 10 years now, ive always used porn and masterbated with a semi erect penis, i finally found this site which has opened my eyes, im now 49 days into my recovery and i need to get to that 3 month mark. This problem has stopped me having relationships in the past so i need to sort it. Im worried though because ive never had a proper erection so i dont know what normal will be?. Thanks for all the great info.

This is a big adventure since you will probably find out what normal is.
Keep us informed on your progress. If you want go to the reuniting and start blogging over there.
http://www.reuniting.info/tracker

Hey ye il get on that site nd start bloggin cheers, can i ask you a quick quesiton, im getting morning wood now ive stopped masterbating but my glans are soft while the rest is hard, do u know why this is happening?

as hard as the shaft, so I'm not sure what you are getting at. Just give it time and it will come back to it's previous degree of rigidity.

I'm 22. I watch porn since I was 13. Till recently, this was the only way of pleasure that I knew (I lost my virginity the current year).

When I began dating my girlfriend, I was totally unable to have an erection. After three weeks trying to have sex - porn free, but not masturbation free - we could finally manage to do it, but I never got an immediate erection.

When we want to do it, we get undressed, caressing each other along the way. Then she stimulates my penis with her hand till it's hard enough to put a condom on. Then, I have to insert it in her vagina fast, because I lose my erection in less than a minute. Is this normal in people that suffer from this evil?

Sex like this is good, but I want it to be awesome and to make my girl feel the greatest. So, in my perspective, I'm not the only one in the line here.

I still watch porn occasionally. I WANT TO STOP IT COMPLETELY. That, and masturbating when I'm alone. It's useless and I want my body to feel it as unnecessary.

But I don't think I can manage to not have sex with my girlfriend, because I see her almost every day. Do you think that will affect my rebooting attempt?

I'm at day 2. No masturbating, no porn, actually no sex at all. No flashbacks of porn images or unbearable urges to masturbate so far. But I know they'll come (I've felt them before).

I know I can do this. I want to feel a teenager again. Help me do it

Best luck to you all, too

your erection when you attempt intercourse, that is normal for guys who use too much porn. But, from what you say, you are not as bad as a lot of guys with porn-induced ED. And you are young.

For now, I suggest continuing to have sex with your girlfriend, but absolutely stopping all porn and masturbation. Hopefully that will be enough to reboot your brain in a reasonable time frame.

Have you visited this link? Do so and follow all the links on this page.
http://yourbrainonporn.com/erectile-dysfunction-question

Also check out all the FAQ's to see what applies. Lots of stories available.
Keep on going- remember your long term goals.

I sure know I'm lucky. I'm lucky enough to manage to have sex at all, and mostly lucky and happy that my girlfriend helped me like I never thought anyone could, in that situation. She prevented me to get into total depression with just one shoulder. My advice to any of you: this is the only kind of relationship you would want to be in. Trust, communication, and willness to take care of each other when needed. And your problems get solved in less time than you imagine.

I think it should be in some place in this site that it is possible to have sex, even if we need to use some tricks. How can I suggest that?

In my first time (after the three weeks of attempts), I masturbated myself while my girlfriend was preparing her body. Only when I was about to ejaculate I penetrated her. When you are about to ejaculate, all the shyness and fear go away. You become an animal. And everything works. Just be aware that some lube is mandatory, especially in your first time.

The second time, I managed a full intercourse with ejaculation. I had to use porn images to get to that point (awful, but true). I think this is a good trick for starters. When you are more used to the act, you get to do it without those videos playing in your head.

I would like to hear from someone that has had this problem and now is completely cured. Real-stimuli-responsive, with full strength erections and unhooked from porn. I still find it hard to believe that it's possible, after 9 years of addiction.

linked to the page I gave you. The page has a lot of links that lead to other pages with articles with links, or stories about ED and Rebooting. For guys with ED we have found that there will never be enough stories to ease their minds totally during the reboot. Be patient.

You may not get a response here as almost all the forum action is on reuniting-
http://www.reuniting.info/tracker

As far as a place that says it's OK to have sex, we don't have any rules. In fact, we don't have a program. We are about education. I provide the science, and people recovering from porn- on reuniting and elsewhere - provide the advice, stories and results. We can only report what works for them. Here's a report - "Rebooting with a partner" (which was linked to the page I suggested)
http://yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-with-a-partner

The general consensus is that it is great to have a partner, but each couple (if she knows), or man, must see what works for them. So many variables occur when you add another person.

Beginning of day 4 (4 days without any type of sexual activity count at the next midnight), and already overflowing with desire. But it's still only dangerous at night, as my pyjamas diminish the effort I have to make to get to my penis. Haven't had sex since the day zero, but that won't last too long.

Strangely enough, I've been fantasizing about my penis getting rock hard as it has never been in ages. I hope this kind of feeling can help me to get through these weeks.

Danger will come soon: tonight I'm going to be with my girlfriend, and it's her birthday. I don't know about my thinking, but I FEEL it's too soon to have sex. Then I think COME OOON, it's her birthday.

Just getting it out of my system. She has to study, and I have to support her. That will prevent us from having sex right now. I wish to get to the phase in which the need for masturbation fades out before that. Normally one week, but it can be variable, right?

I have three types of urges:
. Urge to masturbate. Alone. The most frequent.
. Urge to have sex with my girlfriend. This is rarer, but stronger.
. Urge to watch and masturbate to porn, normally after two weeks of not watching. This comes usually accompanied with flashbacks and it's the strongest. I actually haven't figured out what to do when this comes, cause it never fades out, but I think I'll find plenty of suggestions in this website.

Sorry to be writing all the time. It's just that I'm always thinking about this. So, when I'm home alone, I come to this website to remind me of why I'm doing it, and I spend hours in here instead of doing something harmful.

God, with a brain like mine, I hope I never start smoking. If I do, I'll never stop.

i am anil kumar, aged 23 & 6 months years old, have started masturbating at the age of 14. i cannot able to control masturbating since then, day by day it is increasing & went to very extreme level. sometimes i even masturbate for 25 to 35 times a day. i was masturbating for almost 9 years & at an average of 25 times a day i hope so. but now i think i had a problem of low sperm count due to over masturbation. if i masturbate now means very little sperm is coming out, that too is like thin water not thick as before & sometimes even that much sperm is not coming. also i have sperm leakage problem for the past 5 months. my sperm is leaking at the time of motion & during sexual arousal . so please kindly guide me to solve my problem. now i am very much feared about my marriage because whether i can have a baby or not.

i am very much worried now thinking about my marriage life, whether marriage can happen in my life or not, sometimes i am very much worried even thinking of to end my life because of my bad addiction to masturbation & wasted my happy life. due to this i am always looking very sad & worrying, not even able to enjoy the life & cannot able to concentrate on any work.

kindly clarify me whether i can able to get normal if i stop masturbating now and also tell me what kind of food or any medicine to have so that it can increase my sperm count to make me normal. also inform me it is possible for me to do within 4 - 5 years i.e., before the age of 28. i am very much worried about my marriage

also now i am taking ZINCOVIT supplement, since i heard ZINC will increase sperm count

kindly reply me in detail to solve my problem, i will be very grateful to you till end of my life .

It's real simple - stop porn use permanently, and stop masturbating until your brain has regain normal sensitvity. However, that is often easier said than done. We don't have a set program, but lots of suggestions.

First, watch the two top video series on the right.
Then go to rebooting above to learn about the recovery proces. On the rebooting page follow the links to the specific tools, articles, porn users accounts.
Explore the many frequently asked questions - most of your questions will be answered there.
At the support link above you will find links to our forum and to other sites. I stronly suggest you start posting on recovery forums to get encouragement and insight from other men. Going this alone is very difficult.

Your penile health should normalize over time as your reboot. Many guys mention improvement in semen leakage. The only way to know your sperm count is to have a medical test. Do not associate semen leakage with sperm count as they have nothing to do with each other.

The rebboting process can take anywhere from 4-12 weeks, but with a serious addiction like yours, it may take a bit longer. If one has several relapses, it will take longer.

Be aware that your problem is in your brain not your penis. As you heal your brain, your penile functioning will normalize.

first of all thank you very much for your reply sir, and tell me if i stop here now & today everything watching porn movies, masturbating etc., means how long it will take me to get back normal by having increased & normal sperm count, sperm leakage sir. kindly help me to solve my problem sir. i want to have a happy married life & kids

educating yourself by following the links above. WATCH THE 2 TOP VIDEOS to the right, Quitting porn and masturbation is likely to be tough, so you need everything you can muster to help. So start watching and start reading about wht others did.

I can't say how long it will take to resolve the semen leakage. Sperm are only 1% of semen, so don't assume anything about sperm count unless you actually get tested. I believe the leakage is caused by lack of muscle tone. This may be caused by the desensitized brain not sending as many nerve impulses to the penis when it is in a flaccid state. So it is a brain problem realted to the erection centers of the brain.

From a few studies we have see continuous masturbation over a few weeks (at about 2.5 times per week) reduce sperm count. If you have 4 years, then you will be just fine long before that.

thanks for your reply sir. i will look after what you said sir. i will keep posting if i had a problem & doubt

this is joke you can't masturbate 25 times a day that's like every 40 min

I've been looing at this site for about a month now and decided to give back...
So here's my story....

I've been looking at Porn since I was 21 (Im 34 now). It started of as on and on, but then eslacated to Once every 1-2 days which coincided with masturbation. I got bored, and instead of wanting more kinky stuff (I don't like submissive, or other exteme stuff, it just never turn me on) I would go and get erotic massages/look at porn on the days i didnt go for massages. In the meanwhile I had a girlfriend for a long time, Towards the end of it I wasnt able to get it up (which Im sure that's why we broke up), I didnt think PMO or HJO (hand job) was the culprit. I thought i was feeling more unatractive to her.

So here i am on day 33, Ive been going through some withdrawal symptons. I get social anxiety to a lesser extent than when i started. Hopefully this will go away soon. I spent my time exercising and reading dating material to get me back in the "game" This has helped me so far. I will go out this week and talk to girls. One thing I noticed just today I put the radio on and I played some music; It felt energizing, It felt great. I was in such a good mood. On the days of PMO, I never felt that way! I will update you guys more on my journey.

---keep moving forward----

It's great you are getting back your mojo. Keep us updated on your progress.

I just wanted to post up and say thanks for making this site and the videos, I've found it all very informative. I'm a 26 year old male who has never had any problems with ED before. It's been a while since I last had sex but last week I was visiting a friend, half way across the country, and we ended up in bed together. We played around a bit but I couldn't get an erection and so was unable to have sex with her. I was embarrassed and ashamed afterwards and it's been the only thing on my mind since then. That was a week ago and I've not had an erection since. I've been getting more and more anxious about it until I came across this site and watched your videos.

I realised that, partially because of the 'dry spell' I've been going through, I've been watching more and more porn, escalating each time something becomes boring. I can't even remember the last time I was able to masturbate without the aid of porn. Thinking about it made a lot of sense to me so I've decided to try to reboot my brain and see how that goes.

I feel a lot better about it now that I know that other guys have gone through the same thing and have ended up being fine. I'm sure it'll be difficult but I'd rather have a fulfilling sex life and relationships with women than have porn.

us, but wish it were under different circumstances. Rebooting is usually tough, but well worth it. Check out the support page. It has links to several forums, including reuniting and other helpful organizations.

Hello, everybody!

1st I want to thank you a lot for these studies about porn and the effects on the brain. I could never think that it was so "damaging" until i readied that.

Also I could draw a parallel when there were times in my life that I been without PMO for 3months and more, and i felt way better.

I'm a 19-y-old guy, who started to experience problems since January, the 1st time I tried to intercourse. It was a shocking experience because I was more stimulated to porn and the real thing was different than I thought. I generated a different expectative from what I wanted - but then I couldn't experience pleasure, because of the concern on feeling pleasure as I felt with porn.

I started to STRUGGLE thinking that I was gay, and later on, developed HOCD. I felt a lot of pain because I overgeneralized the effect, started believing that I NEVER WOULD feel pleasure with another woman's touch again - and it's been like hell. I gave into fear and feel pretty bad, almost suiciding. I started to believe that I was gay and then feeling bad about it.

Until I started psychological treatment, and found about OCDs and some other problems. This site itself is helping me to recover from my HOCD, But I feel pretty desperated some times.

I KNOW that it's not the central theme of this site, but I hope it helps me more.

So i'm rebooting - hope it will help. I'm on the 11th day, and I'm going on until the end of this ride.

Thanks for all.

Have you read this question and followed all the links (I'm straight, but I'm attracted to transexual or gay porn. What's up?)
http://yourbrainonporn.com/ask-us-iam-attracted-to-gay-transsexual

You will find a lot of helpful info there. You probably already know HOCD is simply a brain loop that has nothing to do with possible sexual orientation. As one gay man with OCD said - "there's only one rule: if you think you are straight, you are straight". That said, HOCD can be tough, but rebooting your brain will certainly help.

We have seen a number of men with HOCD, and the further away from porn they get, the weaker is the HOCD brain loop.

There's very little posting action on this site. Yourbrainonporn grew out of the forum on our original site - reuniting.info
The forum is here (the posts with ♥ are not related to porn recovery). You can also search on reuniting for older posts on HOCD
http://www.reuniting.info/tracker

you can recover from this

I am masturbating for almost 9 years , now i was experiencing low sperm count, kindly inform me what are the ways to increase sperm count & also inform me it can be cured if i stop masturbating completely, suggest the foods, medicine etc to increase the sperm count

I've only seen a few studies on sperm count and masturbation. They are a bit contradictory, but one study said masturbating 2.5 times a day for 10 days lead to lower sperm counts for several months. So cutting back may help. As you can see, this site is about porn addiction and its effects. We have no information on how to improve sperm counts.

i'm glad i found this site it's very helpful and has helped me get the motivation and determination i need to stop my porn and masturbation addictions. I have stopped on a few occasions with the longest being 23 days but i returned to porn and slipped back to my old ways but this time feels different. One problem for me is that when i stop after about 4 days i get wet dreams which i can't do anything about, for example i've now been stopped for 8 days and in this period i have had 2 wet dreams. I'm a 19 year old male so this may be normal but i worry that the wet dreams are ruining my recovery and sometimes feel like there's no point quitting when i'm just going to have a wet dream if i do.

Porn is the addiction, not wet dreams. Your body is going to do what it's going to do. Don't worry about it. What usually happens is that over time the wet dreams become less frequent. I suspect you are having sexual dreams, related to stopping porn, as a way of processing this change in your life. It's not ruining your recovery. The orgasms may increase cravings. Lets hope they become less frequent.
Keep telling yourself - it's porn.
You may want to check out the support button above as it has links to forums, including our reuniting forum, with lot's of guys going through the same thing you are.

Thanks a lot for getting back to me. I'm very happy and reassured to hear that it's not ruining my recovery. Yes, it seems since stopping i often find myself having sexual dreams however much i try to focus on non sexual matters once it comes to sleep time they just pop into my head and the wet dreams obviously come as a result. Hopefully now i can make a full recovery knowing that wet dreams are nothing to worry about.

hello,
I've been masturbating on porn since 25 years. I had some stable relationships and many adventures, but they never really satisfied me. Around 15 years ago I also started visiting prostitutes, which became an addiction about 10 years ago. I started going to counseling about 6 or 7 years ago, but my therapist didn't know about porn addiction so we mostly worked on my personal problems. It helped me a lot, I had longer lasting relationships and didn't go to see prostitutes at that time. But Erectile dysfunction started to bother me, especially now I'm in my forties. I'm currently single and seeing a new therapist who specialises in addiction treatment. I'm so glad I found this site - look, and you shall find ;) This problem has been with me for so many years, thanks to therapy I know how it's related to my personal life and how it has hindered me in my personal, professional and love-life. I had long times without porn or prostitutes, but recently I've relapsed and it's still an everyday battle for me. Thanks to this site, I understand that I'm not alone, and how serious my problem is - and I feel that I can be free, at last. To learn to control and to channel my life energy, and not to be controlled and overpowered by it, led into solitude and hiding, sadly masturbating by myself to images of beautiful women being degraded, or degrading them by paying them for sex. Instead, I feel now I can use my life energy to build my life, to work joyfully towards my goals, to fulfill my dreams, at last - it's not too late! Although I suffer from this compulsion, my sex life with real partners has always been very intense, and I want to be able to live this in the fullest again, paving the way to a deep, intense relationship with one woman, to be able to build a family at last. If you read this, please send me some positives vibes ;) All the best to all of you and let's move forward, one day at a time. I'll be back here soon.

to you. Good luck on your healing journey.

hello again, today is my 14th day of no porn use and masturbation and i feel like i'm coming on well and haven't found it to be too difficult. I mentioned it earlier but the real problem for me is wet dreams, i know you said not to worry about them as it's natural but i've had 5 in the 14 days i've been stopped which seems like a large amount. I try my best not to fantasise during the day but it seems that in my sleep the brain must take over and fantasise and ejaculates without me having any control over it which sucks. Although i've had these wet dreams i still feel like my recovery is coming on well and for some reason i feel a lot more natural in conversation with other people and i don't think out what i'm saying as i used to in the past, kinda feels like the old me is coming back and i'm really glad about this but just wonder how much better it would be if it wasn't for the wet dreams. For a 19 year old male how long do you think it could take for a full reboot and do you have any idea as to when the wet dreams may subside?

It's good that your social skills are coming back. Many guys mention the same thing occurring as they recover. Again, don't worry about what you cannot control - wet dreams. The term reboot is in itself a vague term. For some it means full erectile health, for others it means no more cravings for porn, and so on. Every one wants to know the answer to "when am I going to be OK". Can't answer that. With most other addictions, you are told it's an ongoing process. Just keep on going and continue to reap the benefits.

thanks for getting back to me again. I'm so pleased i found this website it's absolutely brilliant and gives me an understanding of porn addiction that i never thought i would ever have. Without this website i doubt i'd have been able to go on a serious journey to stop porn and masturbation so thank you so much :)

My boyfriend suffers from ED but how do I/we tell if it's from porn over use, a medical issue or just an age thing (he's in his early 50's). I know he can bring himself to orgasm through masturbation with or without porn but nothing I do orally or manually seems to get him there. He says it feels amazing but still loses his erection even while I'm doing it. Sometimes he can get and then lose his erection multiple times during our sex play. He can have an erection while I'm stimulating him manually and then lose it if I stop for 10 seconds. Intercourse is out of the question no matter what position we try.

I've read on this site that guys say their penis feels numb so does the fact that he says it feels amazing (even though he loses his erection) mean it's not a porn thing at all. I know that he watches porn and/or masturbates several times a week and that the type of things he watches has escalated to what I would call the more "extreme" porn.

I should add I don't actually have an issue with him watching porn, unless of course it is making it hard for us to have a healthy and fulfilling sex life together. I think being able to share an orgasm with your partner is a wonderful and bonding thing.

First, one can have porn-induced ED without numbness. A few guys report this, but most don't. Some report a loss of sensitivity as they go through the reboot process.

Second, does he use extreme pressure or speed when masturbating? This can make it more difficult to have successful intercourse.

Third, does he get a better erection with porn than with sex. If so, that says it all.

Yes indeed, his ED can be porn related. The fact that he has escalated to more extreme porn indicates his brain has indeed undergone addictive changes. Keep in mind that men as young as16 are developing porn-induced ED. If healthy men in their prime can develop porn-induced ED, then a man in his 50's surely can. I would strongly suspect that porn is playing a part in his ED.

Be aware that our society has been conditioned by pharmaceutical makers to believe ED is the normal course of events as your hair turns gray. It's not. However, it's always good to be checked out by a competent urologist. The urologist will be unaware of porn-induced ED, and will likely tell you it's impossible. They know little or nothing about neurobiology, or recent addiction research.

Below is an very recent account from a 53 year old man. be aware that the process can take longer than 30 days.
-----------------------------------------
[Age 53] So today I was ready to post and tell you that I am 30 days without PMO. But I failed. I'm 30 days no PM. Are you ready for this? Are you sitting down? Because last night I had sex with my wife for the first time since starting this program of no PMO. It was not planned. She initiated it. And get this ... drum roll please ... no ED problems!!! If this were Christmas time I would say that it was a "Christmas miracle!" At first I did not get an erection. But after reading all that I had read about karezza, I thought to myself, "If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't it doesn't." I decided to take my time, enjoy my wife's embrace, kisses, etc. I tried to remember as much as I could about Karezza and I think it helped. But I did orgasm. So did she. And my erection did not go limp at all. It stayed firm and hard. Over the last year, this never happened. The good news too: Instead of 10 minutes of "Wham and Bam" ... our session of love last about 45-50 minutes. This was by far the best sex I have had in the last 12 months. At the end, my wife asked me, "What got into you?" That is when I told her about karezza sex. She wants to read about now herself. Yeah!! For me personally, I can clearly see how internet porn has warped my view of real, god-given, genuine sex and love between a man and a woman. Even before last nights great sex with my spouse, even if we had not had sex, I was really starting to feel so much better about myself as a person. I got more work done. I spent more time with my wife, doing things with her around the house - not wanting or looking forward to when can I go to the computer and watch porn. Dropping porn from your life is so freeing!!! These past 30 days have been challenging, but also very educational and very freeing.

Thanks Gary,

Your answers were great.

I've also checked out the Reuniting site and will be tracking "Age 53's" progress.

My boyfriend has been watching porn on a regular basis (probably about every 1-2 days) since he was a kid and thinks it is perfectly normal and not a problem at all. He is Japanese, so he justifies it with his culture. He neither watches very hardcore porn nor does he have ED. Trying to explain him why I think porn doesn't do us or even just him a favour has been very hard and I would like some advice from anybody who had or has porn addiction what was the convincing argument that made them want to change their behaviour. Thank you!!

Check out this article. It mentions a recent study from Japan in the first few paragraphs.
http://yourbrainonporn.com/why-is-romeo-ignoring-juliet
What's happening in Japan is far from normal. he's right with one definition of "normal", which means typical. Porn use among young men is very typical. He would be wrong with the second definition of normal "within normal physiological ranges. As you can see from the report, a large portion of Japanese young men are disinterested in sex. clearly, they have been using porn, which has altered their brains.....not normal.

From all the reports of changes in perception, attitudes, and thinking, men experience, it's clear porn alters our brain in ways we will never see unless we reboot.

You may not get an answer on this site. I would suggest going to "forum" and posting there:
http://www.reuniting.info/tracker

To begin, I am glad that I have found this site and have had the chance to read the many encouraging stories of others. I can’t tell you how optimistic I feel about my future.

Here’s a glimpse into my background and where I am currently. I am 42 years old, and began masturbating probably around age 11-12, so it’s been around 30 years. I have had some form of ED for about the past 17 years. I began masturbating at a young age but it did not take much to reach orgasm. In the “old days” my porn of choice was Victoria's secret catalogues, bra advertisements in the newspaper, or “bikini girl” posters. After hitting puberty I ran into some of the “cool kids” who had access to porn mags, so I could see pics of various sex acts and noticed that it was more of a rush, so that is when I became hooked. Throughout my late junior high and high school years I would masturbate everyday and sometimes 2-3 times per day, always using a “visual aid”. Once I was “lucky” enough to find a girl that would perform oral sex, but I had trouble ejaculating. She tried for at least 30 minutes and I ended up having to jerk off to reach orgasm. Then in college I had a girlfriend who would perform any sex act that I wished. At first there were ED problems with intercourse (I had never had intercourse, so I was scared/nervous) but after a few weeks that went away and it was never a problem again. This girl would do everything that I asked but I still could not ejaculate (she performed oral sex one time for 45 minutes and I still did not ejaculate). I had a problem with ejaculation during intercourse at first but after a while it wasn’t a problem. We were together for several years, had good sex, but then later broke up.

Now I was age 24, and I was alone; I had a job and the privacy of my own place so I turned to porn for “relief”. I bought playboy videos and sometimes would rent porn movies for stimulation. I was always (and still today) mostly aroused by oral sex being performed on me, or videos of oral sex being performed (woman on man). The most stimulating were the “virtual BJs” because I could mentally put myself “in the action”. I watched these videos and masturbated to this for 2-3 years at least once per day. Later, I finally met a girl; we hit it off and began dating. The first time we had sex it was ok (she had good orgasm, but I did not reach orgasm). The second time I noticed that I was going limp so we stopped. I am very attracted to this girl but could not get the super erections that I has always had and was accustomed to. I thought that maybe it was her (I wasn’t attracted to her, she didn’t satisfy me, she wasn’t doing something right); I honestly didn’t know any better. I see now that over the years, my brain had rewired itself to be stimulated by porn alone. We’ve been married for 16 years now (18 in the relationship) and I have had ED on and off the whole time. Fortunately, my wife has been very supportive and understanding throughout all of the ED problems. One note here; my wife does not know that I view porn and I will not tell her. I think that it would destroy her trust, and our marriage. I am not willing to take the risk! Anyway, I have viewed internet porn (video) for at least 13 of those years and I never have erection problems while viewing (actually I have awesome, full erections when looking at these videos). When I knew that we may have an encounter together I would take yohimbe or some sexual herb mix to help (cobra, viper), and even got a prescription for Cialis which worked at first, but then not very reliable, so I gave it up. My wife sometimes performs oral sex on me and that used to be enough to give me strong erections but over the past years I have noticed that even that isn’t doing it for me like it used to. There are times when intercourse is good, other times I can’t get it up even when I am very attracted to “the mood” and turned on by her body. I seem to have the most ED issues with the “cowgirl” position. It’s not that I don’t like it; I love the position because I can feel, see, and touch her body all over in this position. It is by far her favorite position, but the one that I have the most ED problems with. Even if I start out with a strong erection from foreplay (usually her giving me a BJ) we get in cowgirl position and I lose some of the erection. On a good day I will be 80% hard, but sometimes the erection goes away completely. One strange note here…when we do “doggie style” (my favorite position, because I have more stimulation) I do not have the same ED problems. The erections are usually 80% or more this way). She always lovingly says that it isn’t a big deal, or that it doesn’t matter, but I know it does. I usually have to “finish her off” by manual stimulation. She does perform a hand job on me at least once a week and I do not have erection problems with that at all.

I am currently on day 45 after beginning this voyage. I made it to day 23 with no PMO and felt great! Then out of the blue I wanted to “test” myself by lightly touching my penis. BAD IDEA! I quickly went to masturbation mode! The positives that I noticed are that I was rock hard with no “herbs” or ED meds. That was encouraging! I also noticed that my penis was more sensitive. I used to have to view something and jack off pretty hard, and when my wife jacked me off it would take me at least 15 minutes (by myself about 5), but this time it was a light touch and I came quite easily with no visuals, just focusing on the feeling (that was nice for a change!) My wife and I had intercourse 5 days later (missionary position) and it was the best it has been in a while. I had a little problem becoming fully erect at first, but once I let myself go and just enjoyed the “moment” I got a pretty strong erection (90-95%). I noticed that I felt more connected with the intimacy and enjoyed the touch, taste, etc with sex. I did not orgasm, but my wife did. We stopped because after she reaches orgasm, intercourse is uncomfortable to her. I am sure I would have reached orgasm if we would have continued. She performed oral sex on me a few days later and my erection was rock hard, but we had to stop because of an “outside” interruption. My libido is still up and down, but that is to be expected. The thing that bothers me is that a week later I masturbated again and the following day AGAIN! I don’t remember being overly horny, and I’m not quite sure why I “gave in” and did it…bored maybe? I did not view porn during masturbation however. I waited about 12 days and then I masturbated again. Each time I concentrated on the sensation and no visual. I feel that is progress in itself, but I worry about a binge and then losing all progress. One other thing though. About a week ago I took a quick peek at an oral sex video online and it gave me a rush. A week or so later I did it again and again today! Sometimes I feel like I am losing control and will binge, but I am determined to beat this for good! I know that is a relapse, but I still am trying to focus not on the failure, but the progress that I have made. Do these relapses really set you back very far?

I guess this is my ultimate question: When will I know when I have fully recovered? I have morning erections on most days, occasional sex dreams, interest in my wife sexually, feel more outgoing, and I enjoy simple pleasures in life more (exercising, walking, and conversing with others). But when I think of intercourse I get nervous and don’t want to attempt sex because of the fear of failure. Is it just anxiety?
I guess I’m here posting this to get encouragement, or to see if any of you went through a similar scenario and how you have recovered.

BD

Congratulations on your success.

These two links may be helpful, but there's no clear cut answer to "knowing when you fully recovered".
http://yourbrainonporn.com/how-do-i-know-when-im-back-to-normal
http://yourbrainonporn.com/how-long-will-it-take

I would suggest setting the bar very high. Such as 1) very hard erections under any circumstances, 2) no urges to use porn. Number two is far more important than than number one, as it determines your long term success & erectile health. No porn frees you in many ways, as there is no more hiding or concealing.

As with every man with porn-induced ED you are rightfully very focused on your penis. I suggest not getting caught up with day to day erection monitoring. First, many guys have sudden recoveries. The healing is rarely linear. Second, your mood may be tied to your erectile health and as a result rise and fall with it. Third, your ultimate goal is no porn, because the rest will follow.

As for setting you back. No one can say. Your mantra should be "long term".

The real forum/blogging by recovering porn addicts is on reuniting. It's unlikely anyone else will answer your post here. I suggest posting over there -
http://www.reuniting.info/tracker

Im so glad I found this site, ive been 8 days porn free and 2 days MB free, which i have to say i gave in on sat. ive been seeing this girl for about 4 months and we started fooling around, i had no problem getting an erection the couple times weve been fooling around. fooling around as in i got a erection no problem with cuddling with her etc. But then we started getting more physical and she was playing with my you know what and i couldnt get hard for the life of me. and she even asked me why i wasnt hard! i was so embarrassed, i made up some story how i can control my erections or whatever. We were even dry h***ing and grinding and i still couldnt get hard. so when i got home i thought uhoh my brain is all rewired from the constant porn use. it started around 13ish with the porn and it continued in hs then in college it got bad, but after college it was an everyday thing 2-3 times a day. i mean like had to MB everyday bc i thought it was a great way to unwind. Now that i can admit i have problem i feel better. Really better, I feel like i have more energy. I am going to stay MB free for the rest of the month b/c now im in a long distance relationship and i will be seeing her next month. And I hope i will be staying porn free forever. thanks for hearing me out!

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