Age 17 - ED: more awake, relaxed, outgoing & happy
So I'm over 4 months into my reboot now, and it wasn't until recently that I began to try having sex. The first few times I wasn't very successful. I did get a few nice blow jobs, but I wasn't hard long enough for real sex. However, last weekend I ended up spending the weekend at my girlfriends house and had the best sex since almost 2 years ago. And ever since that my dick's been way more alert to things.
Now I can get a boner from just cuddling with my girlfriend and when we're fooling around im almost always hard. I think when I was finally able to start having sex, it made me feel more comfortable with my girlfriend. That was what really changed the progress of my success.
I'm still not completely healed, but I'm more healed than I've ever been in my life once I got rid of porn. But I think that's really the best way to help your success everyone. To find a girl you can trust and [get] her to train your body to become normal again. Honestly to think that I'm normal for once, and that I don't have limp dick every time I'm with a girl makes me love my life so much more now.
Going through a reboot is a long and stressful process, but once its over with its like your life has begun on a higher level.
June 20, 2013
BY - Welcometoreality
EARLIER POST - 17. Finding my way out
June 13, 2013
Well it's been a long journey, but I'm finally beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel. The last time I had PMO was Feb 3rd 2013. Now passing 4 months through my reboot, I've noticed improvement in my sexuality and personality.
When I first began my reboot, I felt depressed. I kinda went through the day and just noticed I didn't really feel happy, even with my friends and girlfriend. It wasn't like serious depression, but I just wasn't happy like I used to be. I kinda figured it may have been from my reboot, since i wasn't using as much dopamine that I wouldn't be as happy or something, I'm not really sure that's just my guess.
Anyway, that was like the first month or two of my reboot. But I was also just really stressed too, mostly because I had to try avoiding my girlfriend so I wouldn't be put in a situation where we could have sex, and I was also still taking all of this shit in after just recently finding this website and realized the fucked up situation I was in.
The first 2 months of my reboot were not too enjoyable. Thankfully things did get better, all around summer too, so that helped increase my happiness. But sometime within the past few months, something changed in my personality. I became more awake and involved in conversations with people. I became happier, less awkward, and I feel like i became less of a drag to be around. I feel like I more or less came out of my shell. I feel more relaxed with life. I do the things that I want to do and don't stress over things like I used too. I'm not as nervous when talking to girls, I can just relax and really be myself, and not hate who I was like the first month of my reboot.
I was really happy to see improvements in my personality and I hope its progress from my reboot. I've also been seeing some improvements in the bedroom too. I've been seeing my girlfriend for almost 6 months now, and it wasn't until a few days ago that we actually tried having sex.
The first time, everything was perfect. We were in my basement, I was hard and had it wrapped, all fucking set. I was about to go in until she starts sketching out saying she heard something, I'm thinking its nothing and don't plan on stopping, until I look up and see the lights on and one of my parents just walking upstairs without saying anything. I found that funny because my parents are kind of awkward like that haha. But then Sarah (my girlfriend) gets freaked out that they just walked down like that and wants to stop. COCKBLOCKED. I was very upset, and anyone going through this horrible condition can understand why. But before that she was able to give me head, and damn, it was the best head I've gotten in ages.
The next night, we tried again. This time we were on a more awkward angle on the couch and I think that may be a reason since i wasn't laying on top of her. I had the condom on, almost got in in then got soft. I sat there disappointed for a minute, then started fantasizing about her and got hard for about a good 10-15 seconds. Believe me, within those few moments that i was hard, Oh i was fucking the shit out of her with the first chance that I could. I think i got lost in the excitement of finally having sex and went soft soon after. I was disappointed with myself because i knew she must have been disappointed with my lack of staying hard.
But she told me that it didn't matter to her, and that whenever I was ready that it would be amazing. She made me feel better about the situation, especially because before I always thought if she found out she wouldn't take it as well. I felt bad that I didn't give her an orgasm, because to her that was literally nothing. But to me, that was the first time I've got it in in over a year, and just the feeling of being inside her and fucking her was fucking incredible to me even if it was only for a few seconds.
So Friday night I'm spending the night at her house and hoping to have better luck and further success on my recovery. If you've read to this point in my journal I really appreciate your time, it means a lot. But anyway if i can make it this far in my reboot I have faith that every last one of you on here will see that success too!