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Age 25 - (ED & PE), girlfriend, successful sex at 76 days
Submitted by admin on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 16:05
11 weeks and success. (My quest for overcoming PIED) January 18, 2013 - Got into porn at a young age (11 years old) on 56k at softcore photos. Found stash of playboys at 12 and used until 14. Was into videos at 14. First girlfriend was at 17. Had sex all the time and no issues whatsoever. Porn frequency (not content of the porn) escalated during relationship until ED began to present itself. By 21 I could not stay hard with her but remained in denial. Continued to MO to porn until that failed and I could not maintain an erection from any stimulation. I couldn't even masturbate with porn. After seeing three doctors and going to a urologist (over the course of 4 years), I found myself on YBOP in late November of 2012.
Here I am. If you want the details of the actual PMO journey, drop me questions here and I'll answer. I had an accidental reboot In May 2012 (no relapse) and began to O when I met a girl. ED came back and I am going full reboot since Dec 2nd 2012.
12/2-12/9 First week completed - my 25th birthday. We all go out and have a great time. I do feel horny and want to try sex but after reading YBOP extensively, I decide it's not the greatest time to be trying sex.
12/9-12/16, 2nd week - I don't have any feelings down there, must be a flatline.
12/16-12/23, 3rd week - I get really horny while spooning her one night. I had nocturnal erections during the night that came about every 2 hours and continually woke me up. Hard to go away.
12/23-12/30, 4th week - I didn't have any feeling down there. We did mess around on the 30th. I have to please her at least! After going down on her, she was touching me and I was erect. That felt great.
12/30-1/6, 5th week - I started to feel tingling down there on Saturday the 5th. It was like anything would stimulate me or get me thinking about sex. On the fifth we were making out with no clothes and I stayed hard the entire time without any manual stimulation. I wanted to have sex, but she reminded me that sex was off the table. This actually turned me on even more. Knowing I couldn't have sex made me more hard.
1/6-1/13, 6th week - From 1/5-1/8 my libido slowly climbed into raging. Each day it progressed, the more horny I would get. Just sitting on the couch by myself I would feel a slight erection with no stimulation (mental or physical). It lasted for four days and slowly tapered away. It felt amazing to have some sensation there again. On the 12th we were making out and enjoying being naked together. I couldn't handle it. I was hard the entire time we were making out, no manual stimulation or anything. I told her I wanted to try. She said no, but I pleaded and she said okay. I grabbed a condom, put it on, and went soft. I told her it would come back. We kept making out and it came back! It came back hard after about 30 seconds and was 100%! We were able to have sex for a little bit, and even switched positions very briefly because I am too sensitive and didn't want to come.
I still want to wait for 90 days. I am regaining confidence in this journey. One year ago I couldn't even get an erection by myself with porn, lube, and my own stimulation. I'm at the point where I can get hard from making out. Oh yeah, side note. My girlfriend was being silly because I said we should take dance lessons and she did a little drop move where her butt drops to your feet and she brings up your legs to your groin area. This was enough to get my semi-erect. I can't believe it.
I am still not getting erections from seeing my girlfriend naked, even though she is beautiful, nor am I getting any feeling down there seeing good looking girls on the street. Morning erections are 50/50 and if they are present, they are noticeably weak. If I think about sex with my girlfriend it will go hard, but I'm avoiding fantasy and only allowing myself to get stimulated from my girlfriend when she is around.
I will keep you guys posted on how this goes. I'm seeing huge benefits already. My mental clarity is present, my posture is better, girls are looking at me a lot (I got free food from the cashier lady), and I have more motivation at the gym. Keep it up guys, this works. Try not to relapse into porn, it's a horrible thing.
I have not had any temptations to look at porn or masturbate. This has been a surprisingly easy journey. The end goal is within sight and I am determined to make it to 90 days. I stay active at the gym, spend time studying and reading books to keep my mind off of release.
Good luck, gentlemen.
February 18, 2013
I don't think I can quite explain how far I've come in terms of response to sexual intimacy and stimulations. It is a very deep and personal experience where all of the details from the past and present culminate into a final understanding where I've ascertained myself.
I will describe this as best as I can.
My introduction to pornography began like most of you starting with softcore images at a young age near 11-12. By the age of 15 I got dopamine highs off of videos downloaded from Kazaa. At 17 I had my first real long-term relationship with a beautiful and young girl. At this time, porn was still never a priority in my life and would be the occasional fix for my teen-hormone-driven self. I was able to have sex on a whim and whenever we desired (near multiple times a day).
It was around the age of 19 where the frequency of porn use escalated, due to the ability to stream, to multiple times a day with PMO. Sex was never enough to satisfy me. It took about an entire year of everyday abuse of porn when I started to develop ED. My erections would hover around 60-70% and never good enough for penetration.
I blamed the ED on not being attracted to my girlfriend (I told her this verbally).
I blamed the ED on being nervous (I definitely wasn't nervous.. who doesn't like sex?!).
I blamed the ED on alcohol if I had drank any (alcohol had only made me hornier in the past).
I got to the point where I was streaming videos in 5 different tabs. I was unable to masturbate to porn, with lube, and with total fantasy. I couldn't achieve an erection by myself.
After going to 3-4 different doctors over 4 years, after numerous failed attempts at sex with multiple different girls, the fourth doctor recommended me to this site.
To recap really quick:
- I lost all sensitivity in my genital region.
- I had no pleasure from orgasms.
- I was unable to masturbate myself because of PIED.
- I was unable to have sex without any stimulants because of PIED.
- I had failed sex attempts in numerous relationships.
- During this time for all of the failures, I was fapping to porn multiple times a day.
During the reboot:
It was very difficult to do NO PMO with a significant other. The temptation to break the orgasm streak is extremely high and it is the most crucial boundary to not break. The first two weeks were hard as my libido was raised far above what I was used to.
I flatlined in the second week (if I remember right) and had it for about 2-3 weeks. My personal opinion is that the flatline is the easiest part because you have no drive and don't desire to masturbate. The only difficult part about a flatline is that you don't feel normal. I felt emasculated. I felt panicked that my penis wasn't responding. I felt afraid that the no PMO would waste my time. STICK WITH IT. It gets better.
4th-5th week my libido went raging. It was important for me to keep waiting and not falling for the fake libido. I will note that I did not touch myself during this entire reboot. No edging and no manual stimulations to check to see if I could make myself hard.
I'm going to skip the details because I have a journal that documents my everyday journey. Go read that if you want to daily libidos and feelings.
What we are all waiting for...
The day of successful sex.
On day 76 of no PMO, I wasn't feeling the raging libido like the teenage days. I have had some sensitivity down there and since day 48 or so, I was able to achieve erections from making out. My gf and I were making out and I was hard. We did some foreplay and one thing led to another. It just felt right. I wasn't throbbing hard, but I was definitely hard. We have had no expectations for this to work, but we put the condom on (usually I'd go limp) and she entered from on top.
Before this reboot, sex was horrible. I'd insert in and orgasm in 2 pumps because of this PIED. This time, I lasted for about 4 minutes and we both orgasmed. The orgasm itself wasn't intense at all. It was pleasurable but not like the teenage days of explosive orgasms. I believe it will get better as time goes on.
My worry was that I would flatline again or that I would be set back and lose some sensitivity.
We had sex during the daytime of day 76 and for the rest of the night I could tell that I had lost some sensitivity down there.
The following day majority of the sensitivity returned. I didn't try any makeout or anything because I was too nervous that I had set myself back. On day 78, we were cuddling and BAM, I got rock hard again. Today, the entire morning and afternoon I spent with her, I was able to get erect from cuddling/kissing. I didn't want to test another orgasm because I feel like it's too soon to have multiple within a few days but it was nice to know I still have a lot of sensitivity down there.
Please ask as many questions as you guys want. I will reply with honestly and more details.
KEEP UP NO PMO! It works, gentlemen. Although I don't feel 100% back, I know that I can perform when I need to. Until I am 100% back, I am going to minimize orgasms and just continue with the no PM.