Age 25 - Not unicorn and rainbows, but the grass is definitely greener

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green woods-Everyone starts these things off with their background and I’m no different, yet I feel it’s important to provide you with my life style to hone in on how noFap plays into the quotidian/mundane parts of my life.

-I’m 25 and I started fapping when I was 12 did so daily ever since, introducing porn regularly around age 15. Been on a couple month long or so streaks, yet no hard mode. I go to a military college, with strict curfew and can seldom spend the weekend away from school. Additionally, we are not allowed visitors in our dorm. Basically, what I’m saying is, I have limited contact with the opposite sex which will come into play later.

-Next, I got into NoFap, not necessarily because fapping was ruining my life, or suffered from some form of depression, yet more so because I thought: 

  1. I have moderate social anxiety and I feel as if NoFap is an avenue to reduce that.
  2. I thought it would make me better of person (more discipline, calmer, etc).
  3. I am beyond apathetic post-fap (especially after watching porn).
  4. Last, but probably not least, could it make me better with the opposite sex? There’s a host of other reasons, yet those are these are main for why I stopped.

Now for my anecdote.

-I’ve had three streaks previous (all around 30 days) prior to this one and I’ve noticed that in the beginning face before the flatline I, like most, go through a manic hypersexual phase, which entails a painfully increased libido which lasts around 2-4 weeks. However, this is not the reality of NoFap. Too often I’ve read or heard from others people stating things such as “I’ve been doin the NoFap for 10 days and I already feel instantly amazing, I’ll never go back.” While feeling good is all apart of the process, this is not the reality of NoFap. Most guys are overtly positive and zealous in the ‘manic phase’ because they think this is how it’s going to be from here on out. Don’t get me wrong I’m all for feeling good and promoting positivity from the get go, but just realize the manic phase tends not to last and is met abruptly with the flatline.

-Also, I’ve noticed that people in the ‘manic phase’ are constantly finding ways to get in contact with women, yet not in healthy ways, or ways conducive to the ‘reboot’. For example, due to my limited contact with the outside world, I always go heavy on tinder, plenty of fish, instagram, etc. Constantly looking for girls, sexting, etc. The problem is, I would find girls that I’m not necessarily interested in (physically or emotional) and I’d go through with meeting up with them for the prospect of something sexual. Now while I’m all for contact with the opposite sex, falling into your brain’s ‘manic whims’ may not be the healthiest option, especially if you’re looking to sincerely reboot your brain. You’re just allowing your brain to spin its sexual gears because now it doesn’t have porn or fapping as the outlet and will likely act accordingly. Maybe this isn’t all bad yet I don’t think it’s doing your reboot justice or developing will power. Ok now for my timeline.

Started NoFap on 13 November 2014, which was a Thursday I believe. I hadn’t planned on doing NoFap, yet had spent the weekend with a girl I was kinda seeing, got whisky dick on one of the nights and decided there it was time to stop. -The first few weeks I entered the manically horny phase. Constant with the social sexting and the like, then hit a flatline at the time I had returned home for winter break (roughly 5 weeks in). My sexual performance had actually decreased during the flatline, which was very disheartening. At this point in time I realized that the flatline is easily the hardest part because your conscious mind has, what seem to be, valid reasons to stop NoFap (decreased sexual performance, depression, almost worse social skill, etc.)

-The flatline went on longer than expected for me and sometimes it would be hard to tell if I was in it or not, however there were benefits even at this time. First, I noticed that even days when I didn’t necessarily feel much libido or driven, I could just make things happen easier. For example, maybe I didn’t have extra mental motivation, yet I felt I had the discipline and drive somewhere inside me to complete school assignments and what not. It could be that I was not as distracted sexually. Furthermore, the few times I have been around the opposite sex in the past 90 days, I’m always just naturally putting things together, I believe that’s a function of a couple different things:

  1. I believe that during NoFap you have a latent kind of sexual energy. Although it may not be manifesting at every waking hour of the day, like when I was watching porn or during the manic phase, I noticed that I would (and still do today) feel extremely energized by sexual tension when it is presented to me, yet don’t when it’s not. I’m on when I should be and vice versa.
  2. You’ve seen this on the forums and on benefits rollups, yet I positively believe that women notice you more when on NoFap. Maybe it’s linked to some phermonal scent, maybe it’s linked to skin complexion, maybe it’s linked to theory that how ejaculation without orgasm decreases vitality (study I’ve heard about from a book called Multi-Orgasmic Man). Whatever the cause, I believe there is something in women’s subconscious that doing NoFap registers with women where they notice and pay more attention to you.
  3. Lastly, I think that NoFap causes me to be more clearheaded and also somehow makes any other form of stimulation better. For example, I tend to feel happier and more excited with less alcohol than before, which definitely would play a role when drinking in the presence of women.

-Around day 70 I started noticing that I was climbing out of the Flatline. Some of the benefits were subtle and took me some comparing to when I used to Fap and when I did not Fap.

- I’ve realized that there is no a pot of gold hanging out at the end of the 90 days. I’ve had good and bad days and some of the same struggles that I’ve had in the past when I fapped. However, I couldn’t see myself going back to how things were due to all the benefits I’ve experienced however subtle and miniscule they feel and I honestly couldn’t imagine breaking this long of a streak. Because although they may not appear massive or as overt as they do in the manic phase they do manifest into larger things and become part of your life. Now for a list of these benefits in no particular order:

Behavior:

  1. Continuity. More continuity with things I’ve always wanted to implement in my life. For example I’ve been able to drastically reduce the amountof social media. Previous attempts only lasted for a matter of hours.
  2. Discipline. Discipline and will power in general. Don’t fall into whims as much as before.
  3. Outcome oriented. Similar to the past two, I’ve noticed that when I’m about to engage in any action I consider the outcome and am likely engage in doing so if the end result is worthy.
  4. Social Anxiety. I feel as if this has been reduced substantially. I still get nervous or anxious in certain social situations, yet I realized that the time it takes me to get comfortable in a situation or around particular people has reduced. Physical sensation of nervousness is diminished.
  5. Less Brain Fog. The Brain Fog is still there, but I feel like my thoughts are more my own if that makes any sense at all.
  6. Overall well being. I feel better more often, much less moodiness or feeling ‘bad for no reason’ although this still does occur it’s reduced much more so.
  7. Less fluctuation in mood. When I used to fap, I would be feeling good, fap, and then not be feeling good post fap. Whether or not I fapped dictated how I felt that day. Although I may still be in a good or bad mood, these moods appear to fluctuate less and are seemingly more logical.

Sexual

  1. Latent sexual energy. Defined above. But basically I’m on when I should be and not when I shouldn’t (not the most conducive for online dating).
  2. Girls notice me more. My actions and thoughts seem more valued by them. More eye contact. I feel like I’m better looking to them or look more manly.
  3. Social Anxiety. There’s less around girls.
  4. Drive. If I see a girl I am attracted to, I can visualize myself going up and doing something about it as opposed to letting the opportunity vanish.
  5. Small talk is better. Not a massive benefit, but it feels more natural to just talk to people because your forced to be around them. (elevators, old acquaintances from high school, etc.)
  6. Whisky dick / condom sex not an issue. I will say though that during the flatline it wasn’t working properly.

Miscellaneous:

  1. Complexion. Feel like my skin is clearer, still get acne, yet feel better.
  2. Facial / chest hair. Likely placebo yet I feel like my hair is denser.
  3. Workout ethic. After the flatline my drive to hit the gym has definitely gone up. Yet during the flatline I remember thinking “what’s the point of going to the gym?” Which was rare even during my Fap days.
  4. Stimulation. Simply put stimulating things are more stimulating. I lightly consume alcohol, yet when I do I feel the same kinda flow I would if I was that ‘sweet spot’ drunk where you are bold enough to talk to girls but too drunk to drive. Music/Conversation/laughter feels better.
  5. Attention. Not saying this cured any ADD, yet I can find myself staying focused on things slightly longer.

TL;DR: NoFap’s affects everyone differently, some people experience some benefits more than others, some benefits are too subtle for the average guy to notice/care for. I think it’s made most parts of my life better and will continue to do so and recommend it to anyone.

LINK - 90 days: not unicorn and rainbows, but the grass is greener.

by zonograph