Age 39 - hermit, virgin, no friends: I no longer fear rejection. I am coming out of my shell

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hermit crabI have been the biggest human hermit in History. 39/M, no friends...no girlfriend...virgin. PMOing for 25+ years....Now, at 75 days of NoFap..I asked a girl if she had plans last night...

She said she did...I got rejected in front of some friend...I took it okay. Today I got rejected again, But later I went to a birthday party and met some people.

Wow, what a change in my personality! This is amazing. I no longer fear rejection, I no longer fear what other people think. My brother asked me today what happened to me!!!!! I told him that I wanted to be more social...He said it was awesome and that he is happy for me!!!

These are not superpowers...I am just starting to be my true self! I am coming out of the shell...I am hungry for life! NoFap is amazing. Don't cheat, Don't edge, Don't view Porn...and you will start seeing changes you will not believe. My social anxiety is disappearing!! Wow.

EDIT: I used to never go to parties, I used to never even talk to girls...My weekends were at my house, locked up watching tv, playing videogames and PMOing....This was my life for the last 25 years...No joke.

If you are shy, if you fear social circles and hanging out with people...NoFap is for you!

by sfumato1002


 

UPDATE - 90 Days...I finally found myself

39/M, Virgin, never been kissed by a girl, never had a girlfriend. I am very timid and shy. I started PMOing about when I was 15/16?. I eventually started to loose the fewvfriends I had because Porn and Masturbation became my #1 priority. When I lost all my friends...I started hanging out with my brothers and cousins. With the passing years...I saw my family members get married, having children and creating a life for themselves...It became increasingly awkward to hang out with them.

<--break->

..So I started spending most of my weekends alone for years.

Why did I take on this challenge?

For many years I have wanted to commit suicide. I never thought that masturbation and porn was the reason for my depression and sadness. I would read about Doctors saying that masturbation is very good for health, So I never questioned fapping, in fact I though it was a great outlet since I was alone. Then I found YBOP with a link to reddit/r/NoFap. After reading some posts on NoFap...I decided to give the challenge a try.

Beginning My NoFap Journey

I started NoFap on January of 2013? I failed miserably on my first attempts of NoFap. Relapse after relapse...I was fustrated, I just couldn't find the strenght to combat the urges, I was weak, I had nothing to hold on to. This continued for about 6 months until June 2013. During June 2013 I met a girl who I got infatuated with. She was a friend of the family, so I would see her often. She became the reason why I took NoFap more serious. She never really knew I liked her because I never told her...I hoped one day to tell her...So my streaks started to become longer...14 days, 25 days, 55 days...

With NoFap as the foundation, I also started eating healthy, working out, and working on self improvement..I would watch self help videos on youtube and downloading audio versions of these, I started to program myself for success...These were amazing times of growth for me! I also started to visit /r/NoFap daily and commenting and engaging more and more with the NoFap community.

But with the passing months, The girl I was infatuated with got herself a boyfriend, and the dream was over for me. It was my opportunity to give up on NoFap...And I did! I remember my relapse after 55 days, It was the darkest day of my life...all I wanted to do was die.

I remember waking up the next morning...I saw a path with two roads...I could either take one road and go back to my PMO lifestyle or take the other road and continue my NoFap Journey...I remember I started to cry like crazy thinking about the choice...all I wanted was to be a better man, I wanted to be a better person...I just couldn't go back to PMO. So I made the choice that day to continue NoFap.

Road to 90 days

"Don't wish it were easier, wish you were better." - Jim Rohn

I became relentless, disciplined and focused. With NoFap as my foundation...I ate even healthier, I worked out everyday, I started to take cold showers, I attempted to quit smoking several times, until I finally quit! (17 days and counting). I made it impossible for me to fail with NoFap. My mind was made up...Either Change my life or commit suicide. It was that simple. At 39 years old, I had no more room for errors. So today, finally, I completed my 90 days hardmode, no edging, no porn, no fantasy. I have to say these 90 days have been the most emotional in my life, crying, feelings of sadness, hope and happiness, it has been a roller coaster. But probably the best 90 days of my life in terms of growth!

The Road ahead

My new goal is 180 days with NoFap. I also want to become better socially, I desire to meet someone special to marry, I still hope to have children one day... I want to create a family, for me, finding someone that will love me seems almost impossible...but I want to achieve the impossible in 2014. After completing the 90 days with NoFap, I truly believe that nothing is impossible.

Last Words

I would like to say a special thanks to all of you, for the amazing tips and help I have received here. I would have not been able to change my life without this community and without the creators of YBOP and NoFap. Thanks from the bottom of my heart to each and every Fapstronaut. You guys were there in my darkest hours, when I had nobody to turn to...I always came here and found support, So thank you!!! Stay strong and take care!


 

UPDATE - Reached 90 days...for a second time this year.

I wanted to write an EPIC 90 day report...But I guess I cannot beat my first 90 day report.

All I can say is that I value myself a lot more. I used to be a people pleaser and I had no respect for myself.

Now I stand up for what I believe, I don't let people push me around. I stand up straight, smile more and I am happy with myself. There is still a lot of things I need to work on, growth and self improvement never ends...and i realize life is a struggle, but that is what makes life worth living.

All I can say is that NoFap is worth it, it is the foundation of my success and self value and drive. Sexuality is a powerful force, use it to your advantage, use it to become attractive inwardly and out. I like this quote:

"We do not attract what we want; we attract what we are."

Comments

my friend i read ur post and it was an inspiration jut to spot some light on m story (which is the same like evrybody here)

im antisocial ..fearful ..i am 23 yrs old and i dnt have a girl in my life so sad..tht hurts...i have alot of dreams and goals i want to accomplish but i keep procrastinating..

now the important part..i bumped into this site and it hit me hard to find out why i was a failure..i stopped PMO for 21 days and man lot of things change..but i relapsed...i stood back up and stopped PMO for a wekk..then i realpsed agian for 2day!! ( 2day is the seconad day) I feeeel soo FUCKIN bad!!

to keep in mind i was on porn and masturbation for moore then yrs witha minmum 3 times a day...please give me some help..i need it really

O.B.

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