Rebooting/Porn Use FAQs

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Porn addiction questions Welcome to our FAQ page. If you have a question, ask it below. (After registering, click on "Add new comment.") The answers are based on years of hard-won wisdom shared by recovering users, whose comments are sometimes included along with relevant research. Most questions have multiple links.

If you want to understand the underlying mechanisms and brain changes behind porn addiction and related symptoms watch Your Brain On Porn: How Internet Porn Affects the Brain and Adolescent Brain Meets Highspeed Internet Porn. 

For more details on the science, read Start here for an overview of key concepts and follow the links, or visit the Articles section. This 18 minute video addresses common myths and propaganda - PORN MYTHS - The Truth Behind Addiction And Sexual Dysfunctions, by Gabe Deem


Sexual Problems

Rebooting Basics (see rebooting basics page)

Rebooting Challenges

Rebooting With a Partner:

Internet Porn Addiction:

Masturbation, Ejaculation, Prostate:

Odds & Ends:



 

Comments

Ive done all that you said and i have masturbated once which was within the first week, but with out any porn and from what ive seen that's a major problem and can cause me to relapse.Im on day 6 now and im trying to keep going this time , thank you .

james

I am next to 100% sure that I am suffering from porn-induced ED. I am 25 years old, I have never had a proper girlfriend (just because I've never met someone I really liked enough), but had about a dozen one night-stands. Now, I have never, I repeat, never, ejaculated! Can you imagine that? Never having ever cum during sex. That's fucked up. Anyway, I've always wondered why this is, and often times I was drunk when I had sex (random hook-up), but a couple of times I wasn't drunk at all, and I still couldn't cum. What's worse, I noticed that the reason I cannot cum is that my erection doesn't hold for long. I only last for a couple of minutes. Wow. I've only recently discovered yourbrainporn, and that porn-induced ED actually exists. Previously, I researched delayed ejaculation, etc., and none of this stuff seemed to make sense, but now I am convinced that porn-induced ED is my problem.

My question is: is there hope for me, i.e. can I get to a normal state of sexuality, where I'll be able to have great sex with girls, and masturbate without porn easily? I know many other people have been successfully able to reboot, so I guess the answer is yes, but I am so skeptical because of the shitty experiences I have had, and because I have never actually experienced the real thing before (ejaculated during intercourse).

Also, during the rebooting process, am I not allowed to touch my penis at all? I use to do some stretching exercises (when the penis is totally flaccid). Is that still ok, or should I not touch the penis at all (that actually seems waaaaay harder than anything else!)?

Of course there's hope. Every guy feels just like you when they start.

Have you read rebooting? And followed the appropriate embedded links? Some guys still have sex when they reboot, though that is rare, so yes you can touch it. Although I would ask myself why I think I need to do stretching exercises? Have you been influenced by watching too much porn?

Anyhow, I suggest you go over to a new forum, started by guys very familiar with YBOP. All are recovering from addiction or ED. Talk to the guys, start a blog., get support.

http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php

good luck,

gary

Hi everybody! Since my latest post here (11/26/2011), something wonderful happened: just after the rebooting completion I've found the love of my life... and with her I've finally started to fully enjoy my sexuality. I've defeated porn-induced de-sensitization and ED, I'm able to get pleasure from her stimulation (oral and manual), I can easily use condoms and in general it feels so good to have sex of every kind :)
The last obstacle to overcome is a delayed ejaculation... but it's just a matter of time!

Guys, you all have the power to reclaim your sexual power! Just reboot & rewire, and find a woman that will give you love and support (I'm afraid prositutes won't help you so much :(): talk openly with her about your situation, and slowly, step-by-step, start reuniting with your masculine essence.

Good luck to everybody... and Gary, you simply have my eternal gratitude.

Are there any theories as to why some people suffer porn-induced premature ejaculation whereas others suffer porn induced delayed ejaculation? I've read through many of the recovery journals and during their porn addictions / while they reboot, many of the guys generally suffer DE.

While with my ex if had major ED and PE. I'm now 8 weeks totally free from PMO and I think i'm slowly coming out of the flatline period. On the odd occasion I'll get a very strong spontaneous erection (which is good news) but when this happens, I still have the feeling that I could ejaculate almost immediately. I've not had any sexual encounters since my ex so I don't know if PE would still be a problem but it just feels like it probably could be.

Do you have any thoughts on why some get DE while others, like me, suffer PE? Also, are they any methods to improve PE?

Not ejaculating for 8 weeks or so can cause you to be extra sensitive. Hopefully it will calm down with time and having sex.  Traditional Chinese medicine has theories based on their models, but they don't transfer to Western physiology. My one theory is the development of sensitized pathways, but I really have no idea. Several guys report resolution of Porn induced PE, so stay hopeful.

Wow, this site is truly amazing. I was truly on the brink and really feel like this site will be a major help to me. I always knew that porn had something to do with the issues that I was struggling with but since everybody said that masturbation is healthy I haven't yet been able to do what I probably need to do to get my life back on track. I have already read a lot on the site and found the (huge amount of) info and testimonies very useful. But still for some particular reasons a have a few additional questions. Let me explain...

I have a fetish for women with impaired mobility (sounds a bit strange, I know but that's the way it is, as a matter of fact it even has a name: abasiophilia ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abasiophilia) so I'm probably not the only person having this. I'm pretty sure it developed before I started watching porn since my first memories of it are at age 6 and I started watching porn when I was 10 years old or so. Then I started watching porn (mostly abasiophilia porn) at age 10 and because of the never ending novelty I got hooked. At age 15 I started getting these symptoms that a lot of the guys here are describing: social anxiety, muscle pain (especially a stiff neck), breathing difficulties, severe fatigue, concentration problems... First I didn't realise that porn might have anything to do with it, but then I did an experiment with myself and stopped all masturbation for about two weeks and the stiff neck and breathing problems disappeared. At that moment I made the link between porn and some of my symptoms. From then on I still used porn, but when the muscle pain came back and I started having breathing problems I stopped for a while. Yet, I didn't make the link between my other symptoms (concentration problems, social anxiety, fatigue,..) because I didn't know of this site yet. So from my 16 to my 21 I still used porn but whenever I had muscle pain or breathing problems I quit for a week or so. Yet when I started to go to college my concentration problems started to worsen. I dropped out several times and I'm now still experiencing difficulties. So, now I've found this site and everything has become much clearer to me I am off course totally dedicated to get my life back on track. But there is still something holding me back: what should I do with the fetish? I spoke about it with some doctors and some other people and generally they say that these kinds of fetishes that arise in early childhood usually don't disappear. I'm just struggling with the advice here that to reboot you must go back to the more "natural" sex and abstain from "sex on a screen". But how does this apply to people with fetishes that arose before porn. Off course my fetish is very tightly linked to my porn use, so every fetish fantasy usually leads to porn use. So how can I go back to my "natural" state? Should I just never think about this fetish again? Would this be possible and a good idea or would I then be "repressing my sexuality in an unhealthy way" as some doctors say?

In short, I would like to ask for some more information about how the principles on this site can be applied to people with "before-porn fetishes". I think that the concept of karezza might also be helpful for me, so some extra information about this (with some extra info specifically to my situation) would be extremely helpful!

What type of porn you are addicted to is irrelevant. Maybe you will still have this fetish after your reboot, maybe it will decrease, maybe it will disappear. Again, it's irrelevant to the addiction process and the changes that occur in the brain that lead to symptoms you describe.

Another point, masturbation is not the same as porn. Masturbation has been occurring since the beginning of time - high speed porn is 10 years old. Please keep both separate in your mind.

All the men who reboot say to avoid fantasizing about any and all porn they have viewed - fetish or not. So yes, turn your attention to something else, or do something else if you start to drift into fantasy.

You will have plenty of time to fantasize once you have put months between you and your porn use.

I suggest looking under the support tab for forums. Many men have fetish porn addictions. You can share thoughts on it.

good luck 

 

 

Thank you very much for the clear and quick response!

There are a few things I would like to ask still.
I'm wondering how these nasty symptoms like muscle pain, severe fatigue, social anxiety, "ugly not shining eyes" (forgive me for not finding a better term), breathing difficulties,... originate. On the site it is often stressed that excessive porn viewing is the problem and not the masturbation and the orgasm. But it's just that from my own experience I find that the symptoms usually only occur (or are at least far worse) after I had orgasm (usually after a few hours or a day). So I was wondering if you could give an explanation for this? Perhaps it has something to do with nutrients in semen that go lost, or some particular chemical compounds in my brain and body that drop radically after orgasm but not when I only watch porn and masturbate? Or maybe it's something else?
[Extra note: I've read something about POIS, with guys suffering from an allergic reaction to their own semen. Although this might be true for some guys, I don't think this is true for me because the symptoms only occur when I have too much orgasms in too short a period and not if I orgasm once a week]

You can read about it here - The Passion Cycle: Are lovers struggling against a neurochemical tide?

The article is more about changes in perception that may occur.

Are you saying you didn't use porn while masturbating? Maybe it is different without porn, - or will be different once you fully reboot. I can't really give you an explanation. Maybe it's a mild form of POIS, or your brain is finally rebelling against a a porn addiction.

It's not related to nutrient loss. Myth.

 

Thanks. The article was very illuminating. I think it's indeed true that every person has this cycle but that with most people the negative consequences stay unconscious. But because of several factors (too young when I started watching porn, too much novelty, too much 'shocking' porn,...) the chemical compounds in my brain are way more out of balance after orgasm then with 'normal' people. This causes me to have bad side effects of which I am conscious of.

I have the feeling that when I masturbate on porn but don't have orgasm, that the symptoms are also there but less intense then after orgasm. I think that's quite logical though, because I can imagine that if my chemical circuit for masturbating is messed up and exhausted (because of the several factors I listed above) that then for the same reasons my chemical circuit for orgasm will probably also be messed up and exhausted. And perhaps with orgasm some additional neurotransmitters (more of the same or other ones) are involved that aren't involved while masturbating (like the article seems to suggest) causing the symptoms to be worse after orgasm than after masturbation on porn without orgasm.

Since I don't have a girlfriend I'm primarily interested in the nasty symptoms that porn produces for me. Because that's what's really bothering me in my life right now (the fatigue, the concentration problems, the lack of motivation,...) so every additional information on that would be more than welcome. I notice that this and other sites primarily focus on the ED-issues that many men suffer from and less on the nasty other symptoms that porn can induce. (I don't know why, perhaps there are more people out there which have more problems with ED than with other symptoms)

I'm sorry I ask so much questions, but it's just that I'm having some troubles with getting my reboot started. But then again, the info on this fascinating site has all been new to me and I read somewhere that most guys only really get started when they first understand properly what's going on in their body and brains. Since I'm primarily concerned with the other symptoms rather then the ED, perhaps this process of understanding takes a bit longer for me.
So every bit of information that could help me forward is welcome.

Thanks again!

Bruce

the brain has changed due to an addiction. As far as info, I assume you have watched the videos and read the Start here for an overview of key concepts article. At the bottom of the start here article are 9 more articles expanding on the concepts. Or you can go directly to the articles tab - and pick and choose. The FAQ's have a lot of info also. Everything we know is right here.

I suggest looking under support for an active forum. Most guys find that helps their recovery. 

hello.
Ive recently completed a reboot and thought i was cured of ed. Ive been seeing a girl for 3 months and we have had a fair amount of sex. most of it has been amazing. Although SOMETIMES i still have trouble with my sex drive and getting hard. sometimes im really keen and we have sex and its great but often she wants more and i want it to but cant!! im only 28 and should be able to have sex lots. sometimes we have sex twice in a row but sometimes i cant have it at all! sometimes my sex drive takes over and i cant think of anything else but other times my mind is a muddle and i cant perform! do you think im still not recovered?? Ive been rebooting for 6 months with a couple of relapses after around 3 months and sex with this new girl around 5 times a week in the last three months. its making me really depressed as i feel im not giving her enough! i really like her and want to make her happy.

thanks a lot for a great website.

Is this normal for you? Maybe it is normal for you at age 28. How you were at age 16 is not applicable to age 28. So your guess is as good as mine.Note - Many guys report continued improvement long after they reboot.

I know all of this is related to dopamine. My question is that I know quitting PMO will help but will I "get back to normal" if I'm still using adderall? Adderall releases dopamine and I'm sure works in a similar manner to PMO. Yes it's under the prescription of a doctor and I don't abuse it but it totally makes me hornier lol. I would stop taking it but I really do need it for school. I was planning on stopping PMO then this summer try to stop adderall. Anywho, what do you all think, do I have to stop both to feel the benefits or, more aptly, to get my brain balanced? And what about other dopamine releasing things like fatty/sugary food, sodas/coffee,alcohol, etc.? Does one have to stop everything? I feel like stopping PMO makes so much sense but is it just the first step? I'm also not sure if this is the place to post this, just trying to figure things out. I also have a bunch of other questions about this whole process but hate to bombared everyone here with them. So again please point me to the right place to ask them. Thanks everyone

Guys recover from porn addiction while taking meds (including ritalin and adderal), smoking pot, drinking alcohol, smoking, eating crap, playing video games, etc.

That doesn't mean that watching your diet and cutting back on the Internet won't help.

Please read rebooting first. Follow the links if appropriate.

Read tools for change..follow the links if appropriate.

Continue to check out the FAQs, as we have probably already answered the questions.

Good luck

I think we all agree that being addicted to porn is not something you would wish to somebody. But, today some -perhaps strange- question arose in my mind: could having been a porn addict have some benefits? The reason that I ask this is the following: when I was betweden 10 an 16 years I didn't have yet the serious symptoms like concentration loss, fatigue,... I remember that I then had something that other people didn't have: a passion for studying. I liked mathematics, physics, languages,classical music... I've always wondered why I could be so fascinated by intellectual matters, while most of my classmates in high school found that quite boring (they viewed school more as something necessary to be able to do a kind of profession in the future, while I kind of liked the process of learning about science and such a lot). Even up to today (although I suffer from the nasty porn symptoms now), I'm still fascinated by maths and physics and like fantasising of being a physicist. Through the years I've tried to found an explanation for this. Here are some hypotheses that I came up with:
1)The porn use created social anxiety, which caused me to have fear of failure and resulted in an obsession with homework.
2)Because of my low dopamine levels and numbed dopamine receptors I became more anxious on average and since anxiety causes one to think more in boxes and rigidly, this made me like expressing myself in intellectual matters (which are by definition rigidly structured.
3) I'm overanalyzing here: (porn) addiction has nothing to do with increasing passion for certain matters (such as intellectual matters)

What do you think of this? After all Isaac Newton, the great physicist, was known for it's imbalanced personality (which could be a clue that he suffered from low dopamine levels) and classical musicians like Bernstein and Horowitz are known to have suffered from depression several times during their lifes (which might also point to low dopamine levels).

So in short, my 'theory' implies that low dopamine (can be congenital, or as a consequence of addiction) leads to more anxiety. If there is along with low dopamine and anxiety also a talent that can be developed, then this can lead to great passion, in which the low dopamine levels fuel the passion because nobody likes low dopamine levels and being passionate about something increases dopamine. So when a porn addict succeeds in gradually refraining from his addiction, then perhaps the whole thing of past addiction could have a great advantage after all: namely more 'fuel' for keeping a passion going.

I have been viewing sexually arousing material since I was very young. Somewhere along the line of my teenage years I developed an anxiety disorder (OCD) and would be getting panic attacks. The only thing that would calm me down and distract me from this horrible condition was porn on the internet. When I was younger I only had magazines to go by and they got old in a few days. The internet was different, though. There were endless videos and photos to view. Any fantasy imaginable was viewable. I have tried drugs and alcohol in an attempt to distract myself from my anxiety disorder, but nothing compared to the dopamine rush of internet porn.

By the time I turned 20 I noticed that porn just wasn't doing it for me anymore. The only porn that turned me on was extreme, kinky porn. Simply watching two people having sex was not cutting it anymore. I knew it should be sexually arousing to watch, but my genitalia just wasn't responding to it. I also noticed that around this time period I just completely either stopped getting morning wood and nocturnal erections or they were extremely soft. Oddly enough, once in awhile, maybe once a month I'd have an uncontrollable libido followed by weeks of softness and sexual disinterest. The desire to masturbate, continued, however. Heck, even though I wasn't even becoming aroused by porn anymore, I still had a desire to watch it.

I finally found this website and found it very interesting. I couldn't believe that so many others in my age group (early 20's) were going through the same thing! From what I understood ED is supposed to be something you get much later in life!

I attempted to abstain from masturbating and porn (I want to try at least 90 days), and I made it as far as nine days before I relapsed hard. Over the past two days I must have masturbated around twenty times. I started having cyber sex online and viewing porn all over again. I couldn't believe that I went nine days only to ruin it.

But then I realized that this is a good lesson. If I could go nine days once, I could do it again. And even go further next time.

The issue I had is that I started "edging" on the ninth day. Stupid, stupid decision. Once you get in that masturbation, fantasy zone nothing will stop you.

I am going to do my best to try to beat this and make it to at least the full 90 days. I also wish that I could get rid of my OCD, but the antidepressants they prescribe to treat it (which may or may not work) cause erectile dysfunction as an unfortunate side effect for men (I tried one for a week. Your libido is basically diminished while using them and it can take up to an hour to ejaculate.)

I may start a journal about this so I can keep track of what I'm doing and to document my progress. It will also encourage me not to relapse again.

Many links can be found at the bottom of the page, under this faq. Some are to guys who tried different strategies. Some guys eliminated porn (that is the addiction after all) and employed a masturbation schedule. 

I'm straight, but attracted to transexual or gay porn. What's up?

 

 

I have a short question how long does it usually take for the extreme urges to M not P last? Has anyone some experience. And what are are the experiences to how long you last after a reboot. I don't know i some how have the impression that desensitization can actually contribute to lasting longer any thoughts on that ?

2 weeks of PMO today i could not resist to try and see if everything is ok so i edged with out p or fantasy now i have a headache :-S

Your thoughts on my questions are appreciated.

Urges can arise anytime, like they do with other addictions. But the first 2-4 weeks are the hardest due to sensitization. Which means the addiction patways can become stronger before they weaken. See this FAQ -

Why do porn cues still trigger a rush (sensitization)?

As mentioned above a have a fetish that originated before I started watching porn (earliest memory 5-6 years old; first porn 9-10 years old).
Because of that reason my mind keeps telling me that my ED for "normal sex" will never fully heal. As a consequence I keep failing to get my reboot on track.
But today the following question arose: could regardless of trying to solve ED problems, a reboot be beneficial for me? I mean then just for the personality changes and the hangovers after orgasm.
In the Faq section there is a question "How do I know when I'm back to normal?". In the answer there is a list of 10 things that you have to ask yourself. But since my situation is a bit different because of my 'before porn fetish' I was wondering if you could give some extra information on the question "How do I know when I'm back to normal?" adjusted to my specific situation. Even if it just settles my mind down a bit so that I can gather some momentum for my reboot, then it would already be very helpful.
And yes, I know that a lot of the guys have fetishes but often it are fetishes that arose after watching porn. Some more information on 'before porn fetishes' would be extremely helpful!

Thanks!

I really have no data on fetishes that developed prior to porn use. But as far as ED, everyone can heal. Your addict brain is winning the battle. Rationalizations and defeatism are two major weapons it employs.

What do you mean by "but as far as ED everyone can heal"? How would this 'healed state' look like for someone with a 'before porn fetish'?

like: being able to have a strong erection while masturbating to only sensation (no fantasy).

Hi Gary,
Just for the sake of trying to understand all this interesting matter I'm going to write down and ask you the following:
From the information that I have now I still not fully convinced that "everyone is able to have a strong erection while masturbating to only sensation (no fantasy"). My psychiatrist told me about a few man she saw in her practice in the seventies (so that was before the porn era) who had a "female underwear fetish" that originated at a very early age. They couldn't get it up for sex with their wives without fantasising about their fetish or actually expressing it in reality. Note that the seventies is before is before the internet porn era. How would you explain these facts? I think that it's possible that my sexual dependency on my fetish will never leave but I do think you are right about the dopamine receptor stuff and the negative effects it causes. So I will abstain for a few months for my dopamine receptors to heal, but to get rid of my before porn fetish I think I would have to abstain for like 10000 years or so I think.
I'm asking all this because I'm feeling a bit different from the guys here because I have a before porn fetish and here almost all the guys have fetishes that originated after porn. It seems like I have the same symptoms that a lot of the guys here report (social anxiety, lack of concentration, muscle pain, fatigue,...) but then again my porn viewing has not escalated in the way a lot of guys report. My fetish has always stayed the same. I didn't really escalate into heavier stuff. And yet I really do believe that I had a porn addiction for years. I think it's primarily the Coolidge effect that drove my addiction, or perhaps one way or another the shocking effect of my fetish didn't wear off, so that I didn't felt the need to go for other fetishes)
If you know of any guys with a before porn fetish who have written down their rebooting process, then I would be glad to hear that! (The more similarities there are between something you read and what you experience the more convincing it is)

In the meantime, many thanks!

Bruce

what was his treatment?

Did the doctor employ techniques that would have him avoid all fantasizing? Or techniques that would have him immediately place his thoughts elsewhere when he started thinking about the fetish? Or other brain retraining methods?

Maybe nothing would have worked for him.

Again, I don't know if this will work for you. Only one way to know.  Stay away from porn and thinking about your fetish AND rewire to a real female. See what happens.

I don't know exactly the techniques the doctor applied.
Since I'm curious for what's possible or not possible for me, I plan to do the following: I will do a reboot for about 9 months and try to rewire with a real girl and if then I still need my fetish to get it up, then so be it, at least I will have my dopamine receptors healthy again. Even if I then still need the fetish fantasy to get it up, I will then not be suffering from the awkward hangover effects of my past porn use I hope.

Do you think that's a good approach?
If you have any reports of reboots of 'before porn fetish people', please let me know.

PS1: A counselor I went to didn't find the 9 months reboot a good idea. According to him it was an "unhealthy repression of my sexuality". But hey, in the end I make my own decisions/choices right?

PS2: In the end my worries come all down to this: can a before porn fetish better be compared to homosexuality (a sexual preference that can't be changed) or to a fetish like the guys here report (changeable through no PMO)???

so I can't answer your request.

Luckily I remembered this one from a few days ago, but I don't know if his fetish preceded porn.

LINK - thomaslewis May 20, 2012

Hey it's easy. Stop beating off so much and your **** will be back to normal buddy.

You're talking to the living breathing example of this. Used to be addicted to foot fetish porn and couldn't get it up for actual sex. You have no idea how embarrassing that is. Then I got into a situation where I couldn't look at porn for a month and a half, and couldn't beat off either. I took it as an opportunity and rarely bat off. I think I did it like 3 times in a month and a half period. HOLYYY SHOOTTT, was waking up rock solid erections. It was like the old days again!! I'd have to focus all my energy into making it go back down because it would HURT!! MAN!! I THOUGHT MY LIFE WAS OVERRRR!!! Then I stopped beating off and looking at internet porn :)

They say masturbation is okay, and doctors even encourage it. The truth is, masturbating is NOT okay. It should be considered a LAST RESORT option. When you beat off, you deplete your sexual energy, and this trickles down into many aspects of your life. Just like buddy's dad says in American pie: "it's not a game"

Hi Gary, thanks for your quick response!
What are your thoughts one my other question:

In the end my worries come all down to this: can a "before porn fetish" better be compared to homosexuality (a sexual preference that can't be changed) or to a fetish like the guys here report (changeable through no PMO)?

We are members of academic listserve whose members are the top sexologists in the world (some are really scary, but that's another subject). They debate this very same question. I don't know the answer.

I don't know if I fully understood your answer, but it seems that there is a group of sexologists who discuss this matter? Where can I get notice of their ideas? Do they have a site, or do they publish articles?

I also don't understand what exactly 'academic listserve' is?

Thanks

Bruce

Hello a have a few more interesting questions I think (I numbered them for clarity)

1)Basically this means that even the heaviest feet fetishist or SM practictioner on earth can become able to have a strong erection while masturbating to only sensation by not watching (or fantasising about) porn for a few months?

2)So actually even a 'before porn fetish' doesn't have to be a potentially devastating thing to my future sex life?

3)Ok, perhaps fantasising about the fetish images may give greater orgasms, but if I tell my future wife about karezza then we can both get sexual fulfillment? Orgasming regularly on fetish fantasies is not a necessary condition for sexual fulfillment?

4)Is having orgasms necessary to be sexually fulfilled, or is karezza enough?

5)Another perhaps even more profound question is: how important is sex in a relationship? Can there be love between two persons if there is no, or no good sex?

1) By not watching porn, fantasizing, masturbating or having orgasms - and it may take longer than 2 months

2) Erections are the norm for human males.

3) No fetishes are not necessary. Many guys have left them behind

4) That's an individual decision.

5) Of course there can be love without sex, but why do it?

Thank you for your thoughts.
There is one thing that I still don't get:
You say it's possible for every person to have strong erections by sensation only by stopping PMO for some months. Doesn't this imply that a person who is homosexual for example can stop PMO for some months so that he can have strong erections just by sensation, and that if he then (with strong motivation to have a wife and children) conditions himself to heterosexual images by starting to fantasise about women during masturbation, can become bisexual?
Where do I make a mistake in my reasoning?

Ok so lately things have been getting a bit better ... I get rushes from real girl pics and the craving for sex is slowly rising back... I wanna know if this is a good idea... One thing i try is i lay down let everything go and focus on getting an erection... I just lay clear my mind and let things flow and i get lil ones but im trying to wire my brain to get it on its own without any stimuli ... Is this good or is it to stimulating ... It seems to relax me after and i can focus much better... So should i continue just want an honest opinion

We only pass along what works and doesn't work. Give it a try and let us know

Hey there, first of all thank you for your great work which has helped so many probably millions of people. My question is this:

The interests I've had and unfinished projects I've started in my life would be too many to list, and they are all over the place. I don't have ADD and can focus just fine on all kinds of work for extended periods of time. But once I'm through with something, I lose interest and get fascinated by something else, usually for some months, but not longer. There has never been any one thing in my life that I'd want to focus on and become an expert at.

I'm wondering if you would think that the instant gratification and impulsive uncontrolled behavior associated with porn and internet addiction could have had any impact on or relationship to this behavioral trait. I've watched and collected porn quite excessively since I was 12 and only stopped now at 24. I'm currently on day 9 and did 31 days before that.

As I understand, addicts tend to have problems with long-term planning and commitment.
What I'm thinking is that I might have "wired" myself to just jump into what seems most appealing at the time, rather than forcing myself to make a long-term commitment to one area of interest. But I don't know if that is actually the case at all. I don't think I have a problem with long-term goals in general, for example I've successfully lost weight over a 6 month period. But when it comes to what fascinates me, there is neither consistency nor predictability.

The 2 books that have been written on this subject describe this behavior as a natural non-pathological personality trait that some people just have and should learn to deal with productively. But most people find it weird and impractical that I can't just "stick to something" and commit myself but jump from one thing to the next with no end in sight. I'm wondering if I really lack perseverance (possibly due to my addictive past) or simply behave like this "naturally" if you will (not learned).

I really have no idea. You may have been like this without ever touching a computer. Some use it to there advantage and become entrepreneurs.

Alright thanks, I think I'll just wait a couple months toward recovery and reboot and see if I notice any changes in my behavior down the line.

Guys typically report needing several months of no PMO for their erectile dysfunction to 'heal'.
How long of no PMO does it take typically for the personality changes (better concentration, less social anxiety,more sociable,higher confidence,...) that these guys also mention to occur?

they see benefits after withdrawal symptoms subside. Ranges from a few weeks to months.

Does getting back to your 'most optimal personality' and 'most optimal concentration' take then the same amount of time or less then the amount of time then for normally ED to heal (about around 90-120 days average).

I'm asking this because I feel already much better after a few weeks of rebooting. But I want to know if my concentration and personality will even get better if I continue my reboot for a few months or if I have reached my top level know.

(I can't measure my recovery on the loss of ED because I believe that my fetish arose before watching porn and will never go away (I think you can compare it to being gay).

far too many variables involved. But a lot of young guys see positive changes for months after stopping.

Gary wrote:
"But a lot of young guys see positive changes for months after stopping".

In answering my last question you are refering here to personality and concentration I assume? (and not only ED).

Substance abuse addicts experience years of improvements in perception and cognition. Not sure if this applies to behavioral addictions.

Hi I just discovered this site 2 weeks ago and i Quit porn at the spot. Since then I've not masturbated or watched porn at all. I got intense urges from time to time and sometimes my fantazies run rampant in my mind before i can arrest them. I've also noticed increased headaches altough this might because of intensive studying however i doubt it, is it normal? I'm very grateful for this site and I hope you will continue to spread awerness of the issue.

However there are a couple of things that puzzle me. First of all I'm not 100% sure that I am addicted to porn. I'm 20 years old, a virgin and watch porn regurarly (at least once per day). Some 2 years ago I got "hooked" on Hentai porn and alot of the sick fetishes that comes with it. However I've read several of the symptoms of porn addiction and I feel they don't apply for me, for example I have normally no difficulty in maintaining an erection for a full masturbation sequence nor getting one if grinded by a girl for example. On the other hand, I have 2 times failed to have sex because i couldn't get it up, I'm not sure wether it was the alcohol or not. Also when watching porn I could "search" for porn for hours just watching new pictures and videos constantly. Can you please tell me wether or not I am a porn addict? Started watching porn on the internet at the age of 14-15 btw.

Another thing I really want to know is what qualifies as a relapse? I've read the FAQ concerning this, but I am still confused. You see, when I see a hot girl on the internett or on the TV for examples I get the similar rewarding feeling as when looking at porn. Is this a minor setback? Should I try to avoid this? I mean, it's practically impossible! Stuff like that is everywhere! When I see those random hot pictures I want to click on them, or find more pictures of the girl (like I did when watching porn), however I am able to control myself, but still it feels like a setback.
Also how about real girls? I've seen very little information about this on the site. I know it is recommended to get in touch with real girls and etc. But I am talking more about looking at girls, for the plessure of it. I myself am an assman, and when I see a pretty bum I very much enjoy taking a look. Now say you were sitting at a beach and all kinds of hot women were walking past you and you get to look at alot of different women at a very short amount of time. Would not this qualify like binging? I mean, is this not the same kind of novelty as watching porn? Constant flow of different women, it is like mating season never stops is it not? Please enlighten me on this issue. This is what i want to know the most. Do I have to stop looking at women?

ED is a definitive sign of addiction related brain changes, but most guys addicted to porn don't have ED. Having ED during sex doesn't tell you a lot. You can do the test on ED&Porn page above

The surest way to determine if you have an addiction is to try stopping. If it's no problem, and you don't have cravings to use, then you were not addicted. However, you can be affected by porn without being addicted to it.

If you "need" to be addicted before you consider stopping....well...you may want to examine where that leads.

As I said, I don't believe in relapses. I can't really expand on the FAQ other than to say that their is nothing wrong with sexual excitement, or dopamine.

I'm not sure how you missed it, but both the FAQ - What stimuli must I avoid during my reboot (did I relapse)? and rebooting discuss real women and sex. Both explicitly say that sexual contact is beneficial.

As far looking at real women - if you can fool around with them, you can look at them. I emphasize all over the place that this addiction is about real vs artificial.

An observation: You are over-thinking this. Just stop porn, and if you want cut out masturbation for a while, then do so. Anxiety is normal when attempting to quit porn, and a common manifestation of anxiety is over analyzing.

Good luck

Thanks alot. That was actually very helpfull. I just got a little scared for a moment and thought everything sexually would set me back. And you're right, I am definatly over analyzing this, I guess I couldn't see it clearly myself. Again, thanks.

I'm almost three weeks in without any orgasm, but I have probably derailed the process a bit by edging and fantasying. On one occasion I even looked up a few videos and edged without ejaculating. I am now cutting that back, though. The odd thing is that I still have erections but they are softer than they should be. My morning and nocturnal erections are either nonexistent or soft. I sometimes worry that I might have an actual health condition and not ED caused by porn, and that even if I go through this whole process it might not help. Of course, reading the FAQs and rebooting accounts reassured me that this this is a nonlinear process that takes time and effort and is a little unpredictable.

The only benefit I can see so far is that mentally I am more interested in women than ever but physically I am not. In fact, I am even trying to currently win over a girl in one of my college classes. When I talk to her I usually get an erection, although it frustrates me because it is weak. And then I think about the fact that if we actually get into a relationship the trouble this issue could cause sexually. The annoying part is that I remember how nice it was to have thick, hard, full erections in the past. I really hope that if I put in an effort and stick out this whole process that I'll eventually return back to a comparable state.

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