Rebooting/Porn Use FAQs

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Porn addiction questions Welcome to our FAQ page. If you have a question, ask it below. (After registering, click on "Add new comment.") The answers are based on years of hard-won wisdom shared by recovering users, whose comments are sometimes included along with relevant research. Most questions have multiple links.

If you want to understand the underlying mechanisms and brain changes behind porn addiction and related symptoms watch Your Brain On Porn: How Internet Porn Affects the Brain and Adolescent Brain Meets Highspeed Internet Porn. 

For more details on the science, read Start here for an overview of key concepts and follow the links, or visit the Articles section. This 18 minute video addresses common myths and propaganda - PORN MYTHS - The Truth Behind Addiction And Sexual Dysfunctions, by Gabe Deem


Sexual Problems

Rebooting Basics (see rebooting basics page)

Rebooting Challenges

Rebooting With a Partner:

Internet Porn Addiction:

Masturbation, Ejaculation, Prostate:

Odds & Ends:



 

Comments

But, what makes me different that I have not read on this forum yet is that I can achieve an erection randomly or when we do oral sex or if she's just playing around with it. We usually start with foreplay where I can achieve an erection and keep it however, literally seconds before I enter her, I lose the erection

This is very common, and usually denotes PIED in the early stages.

Until a few weeks ago. I guess my first question would come in now; Does it happen all of a sudden like that? Just one day, you lose your libido entirely?

A few guys have reported that. There are many paths to this problem. Having a regular girlfriend slowed the process.

She's growing increasingly more impatient with this no sex thing. I mean we still do other things but she's getting more and more sexually frustrated

First, you could simply have sex and orgasm, yet stay away from all porn and masturbation.

Or you could have sex and not orgasm. Either way she could orgasm through oral or whatever.

This is your experiment. There is no right way, other than no artificial sexual stimuli.

My loss of erection right before having sex with her is a sign of PIED in the early stages? Does that mean I shouldn't have too difficult of a time getting over it and it may take less time since I did "catch" the problem in its early stages? Maybe that is why my withdrawal symptoms have been mild as compared to other guys' stories here.

The "performance anxiety" segment of my story kind of sent me into a panic mode. So much so that I was debating on going to a doctor to get tests done and possibly going on some kind of ED tablet which probably would have made my problem much, much worse later in life. I discovered that porn rewired my brain so I got more pleasure from mental sex than from physical sex with my girlfriend. I'm trying to understand the psychology behind it more so I can see, like you said, what my options for an experiment can be.

Have you watched the ED video. It explains the mechanisms -

http://yourbrainonporn.com/erectile-dysfunction-and-porn

 

 

I have full night erections now a days. its my 8th day without porn. but in the morning while doing regular work there is no erection. Is this flat line or some other medical condition??
I am also taking multivitamins having some amount of ginkobiloba. Are these night erections due to ginkobiloba??

thanks

whether something is a medical condition. Our advice on the ED page is to see a doctor first to rule out medical conditions.

 

 

WTF! i relapsed after 18 days of nofap during sexting with my GF. I hate my self.what i did. :-(

Hi so I'm 17 years old and I'm now in my second sexual relationship. The girl I am with now is perfect for me. She looks amazing and makes me so happy. Not just in a sexual way but in all ways. She makes me smile with no effort and I've grown very fond of her.
So in both of my sexual relationships I've had problems with keeping an erection and having an orgasm. One of the main problems I believe is I have Delayed Ejaculation. So I've been looking at causes and solutions and one of the main causes which I can relate to is porn.
I started using porn at the age of about 13, and watched it ever since. I used the "death grip" technique which is seen as the incorrect way to masturbate. I also tried the correct technique to masturbate and didn't use porn. I quickly lost my erection which made me worry. This caused me to find this website which seemed to be linked to Delayed Ejaculation in a lot of ways. Me and my girlfriend have decided to act upon the problem. This has led me to this and I needed to know if anyone has had similar problems. If so did this removal of porn and masturbation help.
I'm only on my second day of this removal and wanted to know if my efforts would be helpful.

YBOP has ED or DE. That's why these are the first 2 FAQs above:

The solution is simple. Stop porn and porn substitutes. Take it easy on masturbation. This article is for your girlfriend -

 

 

I just had a mild relapse, I watched some porn but did not M or O, I guess you could say I was 'edging'. I read here that you're better off just MOing rather than just edging. How does this work? Does this mean that now I should just MO and get it over with and start again or now that I've already come down from the edge should I just keep with no PMO from here on out?

This latest relapse has really got me down, I was doing really well before, now I don't know what to do. Can someone help?

THANK YOU!

Will edging like this without MO set my reboot back more than just MOing and getting it over with?

Don't think that it set you back, because that's just mind games. Just continue to not use porn.

relax.

Hey guys I'm currently in need of urgent help. In a few days I plan to have sex with a real damn fine girl but I only did PMO just yesterday. Before that I abstained from all of it for 3 whole weeks but the temptation got to me and I relapsed. During the 3 week break however I noticed that my penis was gradually getting back to normal (70-80%) but now I'm at around 50-60% length at most. So my question is what can I do to fix my mistake even if its temporary. Cos when a girl asks you to have sex with her. You better be well prepared. And I only have a few days to do it.
So lemme know. Did you do exercises to speedup recovery? did you drink lots of water? Did you eat specific foods? Please please any help is appreciated. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for a guy like me and I really don't want to screw it up. Peace out.

Hi, i used to masterbate daily while watching porn or fantasizing. One day suddenly when i was tryingto masterbate i didnt get the erection. And now whenever i try to watch porn i dont get erection. I took some homeopathic medicine for anxiety. And i got erection at night but not as before. So wat to do guys, please help im totally scared.

I am a young 21 year, I watched pornographic since 17 ,but last year I stopped but I am disappointed from the effects of pornography on a private study brain ,When I heard about the impact of pornography on the gray matter of the brain http://archpsyc.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=1874574 ,Please help me

Since day one i am getting too much sleep taking afternoon nap also i never done that before and i am also yawning all day so its part of process or something different ..?

After 1st day of rebooting my sleep increase significantly my sleeping schedule is not change its regular but my i am not getting enough sleep and i also taking afternoon nap its different cause i never done that before and i am also yawn all day ( i am on my day 5 ) so its part of process or what ..?

Hi Gary,

Fascinating article I just read and wanted to share here:

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/12/where-masturbation-and...

While perhaps not of enormous importance to this forum, I though it interesting food for thought nevertheless.

before The Atlantic artticle:

 

Thanks!

Hi guys, i relapsed many times but always it looks like this : i jerk off, feel bad about it but after 3 or 4 days cravings are so intense that i can't handle them and i have to PMO. But this time is different i haven't PMOed for six days, and i feel no cravings. Should i be worried? I dont think that its flatline because i feel excitement when i see a girl. Is it possible that my brain will rewire in some kind of bad way?

Dears , I'm on day 34 NO PMO .. I was about to relapse yesterday till i stumbled here and found some hope . Thanks !
I've read before about a thing i can't remember what is it called , it was when you stop M , or P , but deep inside your brain it is doing this to enjoy a pleasure or reward after one or two months starvation , which causes relapse !
so anybody have an idea what this is called ? i need to read more about it
best of luck in your battle ,

I had wet dream right after edging and watching porn during the night. I was anxious if it has any bad effects on health.

Ejaculation does not stunt growth, nor have any long term effect on hormones. Wet dreams are nothing to worry about.

 

Hello everyone, im about a month into my reboot ...no porn and no masturbation. After a couple more weeks im goin to masturbate to a past sexual experience in my head. My question is this: am i allowed to masturbate to smelling my girls socks she leaves for me since she knows i like that, or should i keep to masturbation to things in my head.

I have the oppurtunity to have sex with my girl this week, but I feel like im too early into my reboot to wantto tr anything...any advice?

Do sex toys during rebooting effect me? I try to avoid anything that is related to sex but sometimes I feel like using them. does that affect me?

Hi Gary,

I gave up masturbation and porn watching end of August last year, and managed some progress, but my recovery it's not steady at all. Here are the facts:

- I discovered my problems as I met my first girlfriend (that's right, I was almost 28, but I was the shy type all my life) and tried to have intercourse. That was end of August last year, and I continued to fail miserably until end of February. I then managed my first successful penetration and orgasm. Over the following 6 months, the average period between two successful intercourses has been about 2-3 weeks.
- She is by far more insistent, because I definitely have less sexual desire. And she is a decent looking woman, maybe a bit more than that. But I sometimes have the feeling that you could fill the room with girls, and I still wouldn't get any response from my penis.
- I undergone some physiological investigations back in the previous year, but testosterone level was normal and no problems were detected with my sexual organs. This month I went again for some other investigations and discovered that prolactin is a bit high (almost twice the normal rate). The matter is still to be further investigated. But it may not be that high to cause problems by itself.
- I also tried Spedra (drug from Viagra class), yohimbe and types of natural medicines. Successful intercourses were barely correlated with their usage. Sometimes I took them and the little one did not get up, sometimes I took nothing and it was fine.
- The same goes with stress and tiredness. Sometimes I was very relaxed, but had no desire for sex, in other cases despite all the stress I did have sex successfully.
- The first month after giving up porn and masturbation was the hardest. After that my libido was generally low. It was easy to have an orgasm during the first intercourses, because ejaculation was premature (I was just beginning my real sex life). Now I'm having trouble ejaculating at all, since my libido vanishes after about 5-10 minutes of erection.
- Note that we had sex two consecutive days in a row in July (that was the absolute highest record, except for that the lowest interval was one week), and I feel my desire went down after that (I went in a business trip for 3 weeks after that, and things were bad when I came back). I read orgasms may set me back. But I though at that point that I'm like 90% cured.
- I got my first home Internet connection when I was about 19 years old. I already practiced prone masturbation, so I started to blend porn fantasies with prone masturbation for all these years. Actually already by the time I was 25-26, I noticed that it got very hard for me to get aroused. All porn was so boring - note that I kept aside from gay porn or other extreme forms, but at some point there was nothing new for me to see -.
- Anxiety was also blamed to be a cause. But those who are anxious fail with real girls, but succeed with masturbation. I simply have no libido, either with women or alone. And honestly my confidence did increase a bit after the initial shock: I do have a girlfriend I can trust and I know my penis works when it does.

So, the bottom line is, I'm not sure where I'm heading now.
Real girls do feel more attractive, but not attractive enough to cause me an erection, even if I concentrate on fantasizing.

I read about some guys which needed two years. One year is past already in my case, it would be great to be normal in another year.

You didn't say how long a timeout you took from trying to force yourself to have sex. Pressure to perform that is premature can slow some guys' recoveries. If you need to explain this to your GF, give her this page: Boyfriend Quitting Porn? 5 Tips

Second, there are suggestions on this page from "long rebooters": RebootTaking TOO.LONG

Finally, a French psychiatrist uses a protocol for guys with your issue, with some success. I'll email a rough translation  of his paper to you. Here's the abstract (scroll down for English translation): Sexologies - Male Masturbation habits and sexual dysfunctions. If you read French, I can also send you the original version.

Because me and my GF didn't actually stay in the same place, for a number of reasons, there was an interval of about 3 to 7 days between having sex. Except for that, I once traveled alone for 2 weeks, and more recently for another 3 weeks.

I consider these timeouts caused by objective reasons, but I never actively said to her to just stop having sex for one month or wait until I crave for it.

She wasn't also very happy with non-goal-oriented intercourse. If she sees I'm not hard at all after 5-10 minutes, she feels disappointed (sometimes even angry).
And the fact that I sometimes succeed make her very optimistic that I'll succeed next time, but unexpectedly I fail, which only causes more unrest in our relationship.

I find what this "long rebooter" says similar to my situation - he had an orgasm in month 7, but then felt down for weeks -: http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=10271.0.
Every time I orgasm, I have spontaneous erections for a few days to come, then get back to the lifeless state.

With regard to the French psychiatrist, I see that the main idea that he proposes that all sexual intercourse should end with intra-vaginal ejaculation which should be done in 3 steps by his masturbation-addicted patients:
• stop vaginal intercourse (eg. when the partner is willing);
• cause ejaculation by masturbation;
• then enter immediately to have ejaculation always take place in the vagina.

As an extra precaution, I always tried to ejaculate outside of the vagina, even when using a condom.
And I'm rather feel the opposite of masturbation addiction for now, so the 2nd step would be pointless for me.

As a conclusion, I did take a timeout, as I actually broke up with my GF a few weeks ago (not just due to sex, there were other factors which made me see no interest in this relation on the long run). And I feel much more relaxed - there was definitely a pressure from her side, maybe not a result of a direct intention, but it was there -.

but you may need a timeout of several months...or even more...with NO forced sexual performance. Dating, dancing and even cuddling are very helpful in rewiring to real people, but forced sexual performance is a problem for many guys who are healing from this.

That said, forgive your girlfriend. She has been very badly informed by the mainstream and all those "How to turn your lover on in bed" articles in women's magazines. Humanity is overdue for a lesson in what excess can do to human sexuality and how to heal it.

Have you watched this video? Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction (2014)

These?

Young Guys Speak Out About Porn-induced ED

Story of Porn Addiction and Recovery (Noah Church)

I think your expectations that 7 days would be enough were unrealistic. Also, understand why you got a brief "push" after ejaculating: What is "the chaser?"

Let me know how you get on.

 

 

I've tested my prolactin levels again twice, since a previous investigation showed prolactin was twice the normal level and I was told that low sexual desire is one of the first symptoms.
First additional test still showed some excess prolactin, while by the second test prolactin levels dropped within limits. So we're done with this.

Judging by my raw sexual mood, I am pretty much rebooted, but not that much rewired. I do have frequent spontaneous erections, but being closer to real women does not seem to be a very powerful stimulus.

Note that I did managed to get an orgasm by just fantasizing about real girls I met some time ago (plus some mild touches), which was astounding. But this seemed to reduce my sexual desire somewhat for up to one week, so I'm not sure if it is a good idea. I should probably strive exclusively for real intercourse, which in the absence of a girlfriend means either prostitutes or erotic massage - a local psychologist recommended the latter as a richer interaction with the opposite sex when done properly i.e. not a pseudo-form of prostitution -.

I have an important question to ask, and I cant seem to find a good answer anywhere. I have ADHD and am in the early stages of rebooting. Will taking my ADHD medication, amphetamine and dextroamphetamine combo, slow down my reboot process? I know this drug causes dopamine release, as does porn, so will it take longer for my brain to get re-sensitized since I am getting this synthetic dopamine release still? Or will it not have any effect on my reboot time? Thanks

How do I know I am porn addictive?

Just give up porn for several months. If you feel worse, then that indicates a problem. If you feel better, that indicates a problem. If you can't give it up, that indicates a problem.

If you feel no difference, then maybe its not a problem.

I have a girlfriend who has been very supportive of my reboot. Whenever we go to bed together she sometimes dry humps me. Would this be considered Edging? Because we always bring it to the point of almost rjaculation.

this practice keeps you on the edge and causes you to return to porn to scratch the itch.

The goal is to be turned on by real people - which you are accomplishing.

Hello everyone, I'm 23 and committed to 90 days without porn and the first 45 days with no physical stimulation of any kind (might extend to 90 days also). I want to reboot because I'm clearly addicted and really aware that I fap for the porn and not release as well as other typical over stimulation symptoms, though nothing too extreme like ED. I'm a ways in the reboot and I'm doing fine, not feeling anything I can't control but something has been nagging me about when I'm finished. I don't want to go back to porn after 90 days. If I can, I would like to cut it out for good but I'm worried about the effect of actually not ever seeing women naked etc. It doesn't sound healthy. I know this sounds strange so let me explain. The obvious choice here is get a girl friend but unfortunately I am absolutely hopeless with women and I live a very isolated life from women my age. I've never had a girl friend or anything like that because when it comes to this stuff I crumble and I've never even kissed someone. Crazy thing is I'm not shy, like at all! I'm a really confident guy that's pretty outgoing and I get along great with women (if I happen to be around them which is like once every 6 months). But that's always been it for me, just friendship and nothing more. I've never managed to move things forward. Maybe my problem makes more sense now? If I get through these 90 days and manage to stay off porn for good, is that going to have a negative effect on how i see women or my libido? What If I no longer see them as people I could be with? Does anyone have any knowledge or experience to share? I would be very grateful, thank you.

Yes

about learning to connect with potential mates. Here are two links that might do you good:

Is porn making my social anxiety/confidence/depression worse?

Tools to Connect

The goal of recovery is to connect with real people instead of pictures. Pictures can't nurture you. And your libido is safe without them. Your ancestors got along without pictures until very recent times.

If you need skills for moving things along with potential partners, there's plenty of guidance on the internet. I've heard men on the forums say good things about Mark Manson's material, but I'm sure you can find things yourself. This book also gets rave reviews: “No More Mr. Nice Guy”

http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/can-porn-use-affect-memory-and-concentration
I gone throught the above point and i had been using mastrubation for 16 years & later i moved to porn ,my question is my working memory very weak,In the above concept you mentioned about "COGMED",could you tell about the treatment more.

While it may be mentioned, I don't know anything about it.

 

Can I go through a reboot successfully while still MOing? For example, can I still have a successful reboot and reverse the damage done by porn if I continue to masturbate without any visual stimuli. Can I masturbate to my imagination, by fantasizing about my friends and celebrities? I'd guess it would take alot longer but I'm unsure if it would work at all. Please help!!

So I am a senior in highschool. Recently, my girlfriend who lives in Florida came to visit me for a few days. Our relationship is long distance, so I've only met with her once before in NYC for like a day. I'm very sexually inexperienced, and the only thing I've done is makeout and finger her for that day in NYC. Anyway, we gad big intentions on fucking once she was here, multiple times. I've never before dealt with trouble getting an erection before. We constantly have cam sex, and I'm very sexually attracted to her. So the first day she was here, we only got to makeout and cuddle for a little, which made me horny. So that night I tried to masturbate, and my dick was not nearly as hard, and when I came, it was extremely intense (I'm assuming from having female contact for the first time in months) but my cum was very clear and watery. The next day, she gave me a blowjob in the car, and my dick was not very hard again. She gave me a handjob, and it took me forever to cum. But when I did, once again, it was intense, but very clear and watery cum. Then the same night we tried to fuck in the car, I couldn't get hard at all. My girlfriend was extremely upset, and thought it was her, which is so frustrating, because it's not. I'm very attracted to her and love her so much. At first I thought it could be a type of performance anxiety, but the more I looked into it, it seemed more like PIED. I masturbate a lot, and most of it is having cam sex with my girlfriend, but sometimes it is porn. Could the cam sex and fantasizing about her be what's leading to me not getting hard with her irl? Is it possible for cam sex to lead to this issue? If anyone has any ideas, please answer. She is coming again in May, and I would really like to get some advice on what to do to fix this problem. This is the worst type of relationship to deal with this sort of issue.

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