Dancing Classes and Clubs
I've really been getting into salsa dancing lately with more classes, private lessons and social dancing. I've heard it said that dancers make better lovers. I used to scoff at the idea, but now I can see some logic to it (and no I'm not being paid to say that ).
Dancing, specifically partner dancing, creates a lead/follow dynamic between (usually) the man and the woman. As a man, it makes you take control, not in a domineering way, but a more subtle, gentle way. You have to really focus on the connection with your partner, the signals that you're giving her and the signals that she's giving back.
A lot of this can be applied to sex, and this has been the missing part of sex for me until quite recently. Also, social salsa dancing is all about experimenting, having fun and freestyling, and not worrying too much about dancing perfectly. Sure you need a certain amount of technique, but the really important thing is connecting and having fun. That's where the magic is.
I found that taking dance classes and dancing helps my libido a lot. When you have to dance really close dances like salsa, bachata, kizomba. You smell the woman, feel her body, her tits. If she is attractive, I get a boner in my pants sometimes when we dance, sometimes its only a chubby or nothing at all. But it definitely helps to gauge where you stand in terms of being recovered. It is rewiring at its best. If you feel good after dancing with her, you can ask her to dance again later or even ask her out. Not to mention that girls find attractive guys that can dance and dance classes are filled with girls of all ages and complexions. so my advice to all rebooters, find a place near you where they teach latin dances and you will thank me later. Here in Canada there are plenty.
I suppose theoretically it is possible to be alone and have the will to resist cravings but why suffer so much when you can go dancing instead? I thought I could get through the holidays alone but I really need those girls.
The power of salsa - a young man's recovery account:
This guy said:Salsa? Tango? Great way to learn a healthy dynamic in interactions. Here's a recovering user's report:
About 6 weeks ago now I started some dance lessons and I really think that it has been the most fun and beneficial thing I have ever started. I get to socialise with lots of fun people, and meet loads of girls and there is the whole human physical contact thing as well.
I kind of feel ashamed admitting that I was that touch starved but it does feel great. I am beginning to be able to pick up on chemistry with people, sometimes everything just works if that makes sense, and though I have always found things awkward socially I am starting to relax and enjoy myself with people. A few times I have been talking to someone and then I suddenly realise that I am looking at their eyes without feeling discomfort, and socially it feels comfortable, so those are huge steps for me that I had been missing for a good 5 years or so.
I also find myself missing people that I've seen there, not just a few people who I am attracted to but to others who are just genuinely lovely people as well, which is something novel to me. I realise now that in the past I drove myself crazy when talking to new person, with thoughts of 'she could be the one', which would put huge pressure on me and make me feel really nervous.
So socially, things have never been better for me, and I am genuinely feeling like I belong somewhere.