External Rebooting Blogs & Threads

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 Just a few of the over 1,000 forums we have seen discussing porn-related problems:


Personal Blogs:







  • CrazyJourney - blog follows my journey with my boyfriend to get through his porn addiction.













  • Free Yourself - Blog about addiction to sex and pornography (Polish)









  • Just had Enough - Wherein I explain my embarrassing addiction, and my journey out of this twisted circle.



















 

Comments

I am two weeks off my addiction & feel no loss for porn and really proud that I think I have Brocken a 27 year addiction. The most devastating fact is that I have hurt my partner so badly from lying and I just want to support her and try and rebuild the relationship if she will allow me to. Do you have any web sites that can guide me how to talk to and communicate with my partner to try and-
1 see if it can be repaired
2 understand what pain she is going through from my addiction and lies

you will find a variety of sites geared toward healing relationships. Some may be helpful, others not so much.  This guy has a really helpful book - Love You, Hate the Porn, and is focused on relationships

http://markchamberlainphd.blogspot.com/

 

Interested did this relationship repair? And do you still need any advice from a womens/partner perspective?

First off i congratulate all you men on this site because you actually have the sense to spot something damaging and at least are trying to take control of your life/dick back.
Personally i knew something was not right, my husbands attitude changed alot and i knew something was not right he started to tell me he thought he had depression, something i had never heard him say in 11years of being together , late nights on the comp, i would ask if we could do stuff together and there was no interest. His whole attitude continued to decline even negative comments on my figure (Im not vain or no porn star but im a good looking real life women). I not religious and never been against masturbating but when i caught him masturbating it pissed me off only because i wasnt getting any sex from him so i asked if he could come to me first. few months later not much changed and caught him again checked phone and my world crumbled.... completely. The shock i was in at the discovery was nothing compared to the months following. And im not going to blab on about how bad porn is, im writing this for any men in relationships who want a perspective from a womens point of view and that their wife or girlfriend is not crazy or jealous but normal reactions. I also understand how fucking addicting this porn is on men i mean i get it i do but i can also see how marketing is controlling mens sexual minds and dicks and its destroying basic connections with people. I feel so sorry for young men bought up on this. I mean no women is ever going to be as tight as your hand. My vagina was never going to match up to my husbands working hands. I dont know if you guys can see this but you are the future game changes just like cigarettes were cool until people realized what it was doing. Can you imagine if you are struggling to get of this internet porn what its going to be like for future boys bought up on 3D porn? They will be hooked real life connections will struggle to compete unless men start sharing thier effects. Anyway i found this site and couldnt believe it was causing effects on dysfucntion but looked up and found marketing with images of young men for ED, like steve jobs said, join the dots. Even pharmacuticles are making money out of you well hopefully not you lot. Anyway as for relationship i feel porn destroyed alot but fuck you porn im gonna get it back. spending time together doing fun stuff again. Booking in a babysitter and actually finding time together. One thing we found with all the questions is that he thought i didnt want sex, but i always wanted sex i love my husband just like im sure your wifes love you but we want to fuck you, i want to be his dirty bitch without some fucking computer telling him how i or he should be. Whats itimacy thats intimacy. Dont bother with a sex therapist if your in a relationship, i really dont think they have a clue what porn does on the brain. Before this turns into a novel if anyone has any questions please fire away. Im honestly truthfull. If your just coming out about this be honest about EVERYTHING straight up dont wait for her to ask you questions i know youll want to lie to save hurt or thinking it doesnt exist but honeslty it makes a HUGE difference to just come clean about it all. And then be prepared for a million of questions! Its funny in someways i feel sorry for him now eduring all the questions of how who what when. And be prepared to repeat repeat repeat everything. Do not get angry at her it only makes susspission worse. Goodluck to everyone on here, i hope you take control of your sex life and in general whatever else its wrecking. x

I am on Day 3 of the cleansing cycle and on the road to be completely free of pornography and masturbation all together. Thank you for this awesome site.

I am also refraining from all sexual images ( I don't watch TV at all actually), in magazines, in public etc, I really REALLY want this and reading these accts on here inspire me so much! Cant wait for 3-6 months down the road.

I have pickle tho…I workout a lot and love it. But sometimes, working out at the gym guys catch my attention. I immediately will look away but it seems to follow me. I know everyone here is saying to eliminate areas of your life that are bringing the wrong imagery, but the gym?? I love to stay in shape and I really don't want to not go there bc of this….what should I do? any suggestions? I work a 8-5 job so from now on I will be going in the morning at 6 am as to avoid the mass of attractive men that may be there in the afternoons after work.

thanks!

"I vow to be a different man"

artificial sexual stimuli, not real-life sexual stimuli. By artificial this really means eliminating the pursuit of artificial sexual stimuli. Have you seen this faq - What stimuli must I avoid during my reboot (did I relapse)?

That said, some guys avoid too much staring, and avoid placing real people into sexual fantasies...or porn based fantasies. It's a good exercise.

But the goal is to be aroused, naturally and normally, by real people - and to find porn boring and a waste of time. Also see - What about fantasizing during a reboot?

Be aware that you are unlikely to get a reply on YBOP. No forum here. You may want to check out the support tab for active forums.

In the past I refrained from porn, and masturbation in general, for as long as possible. Following the Taoist thinking that this brought me power.

But I've seen studies that have shown that refraining from ejaculating, while giving you an initial testosterone boost, can lead to a sharp testosterone decline after a week or so.

Also, other studies have shown that porn does not, in fact, lead to ED:

I feel porn and masturbation "exercises my arousal muscle", mentally and physically. Keeps it in shape.

I can see a problem, however, if men over do the masturbation and porn... refraining from "real life" and hindering their chances of real sex, connection with a partner. If this is the case, some refraining should be done. Especially if the person is a sex addict by nature. Nothing good about ejaculating multiple times a day... it will leave you drained and feeling like you have no purpose.

You can see the entire analysis here - Nothing Adds Up in Dubious Study: Youthful Subjects' ED Left Unexplained - by Gabe Deem

One needs to move beyond media headlines, concocted by biased researchers, and actually read the full "study" along with the four underlying studies on which the paper was supposedly based.

Also see -

Fact - none of the claims in the paper are backed up by the data from the underlying 4 papers. But let's say that the study was accurate, what did it actually find:

  1. The 47 young men, average age 23, had erectile dysfunction. You didn't read that in the press release, did you? See first link for documentation.
  2. The only correlation examined was hours per week in the last month. We have seen that hours per week is not the determining factor for PIED.

More on #2

There is little evidence that frequency of porn determines which young men develop sexual dysfunctions. This result is not altogether surprising. In fact, one of the most common questions posed on recovery forums is,

"Why did I develop PIED when my friends watch as much (or more) porn than I do?"

Instead of frequency of use, a combination of variables appear to be involved in porn-induced ED. These include:

  1. Total hours of use
  2. Years of use
  3. Age started using porn
  4. Escalation to new genres
  5. Development of porn-induced fetishes (from escalating to new genres of porn)
  6. Ratio of masturbation to porn versus masturbation without porn
  7. Ratio of sexual activity with a person versus masturbation to porn
  8. Gaps in partnered sex (where one relies only on porn)
  9. Virgin or not
  10. Addiction-related brain changes or not
  11. Genetics

What other aspects of internet porn use might better explain porn-related sexual dysfunctions? German researchers found that number of applications opened was associated with porn-related problems, while time spent watching was not.

Results indicate that self-reported problems in daily life linked to online sexual activities were predicted by subjective sexual arousal ratings of the pornographic material, global severity of psychological symptoms, and the number of sex applications used when being on Internet sex sites in daily life, while the time spent on Internet sex sites (minutes per day) did not significantly contribute to explanation of variance in IATsex score. Personality facets were not significantly correlated with the IATsex score. [emphasis added]

To reiterate, the Germans found that time spent watching porn was not a factor in either porn addiction or the negative consequences of using. Instead it was the number of applications (genres), and one's response to porn use, that made the difference. That is, a need for novelty and more stimulation.


Here's the bottom line - the only way to assess porn-induced ED is to remove porn and see if unexplained ED heals. This is what has been occurring for many years, thus proving the existence of porn induced ED.Moreover, 55 experts, including 6 urology professors have written about treating porn-induced ED. See our experts page here (which includes studies) -

Another very important piece of information: recent studies show between a 600 -1000% increase in ED rates in young men. That is not a misprint. See this article with ALL recent studies on young men

The only variable that has changed in the last 20 years is, of course, Internet porn - specifically 2006 and the advent of tube sites. Only porn could account for ED rates as high as 33%, and hyposexual rates as high 37% in young men. Rates form the 1992 were below 5%, with some stduies suggesting between 1- 3%, for men under 40.


As for refraining from ejaculation, YBOP is about porn, not masturbation or ejaculation. We are not NoFap. We do not advocate abstinence as lifestyle, as we clearly say in our start here articles on rebooting and PIED.

PS - I removed the link in your comment.