“How I tamed my HOCD”

My advice on OCD (to forum member). Dude, I finally realized that I have been dealing with OCD for pretty much my entire life. I didn’t realize what it was until recently when I had a battle with the dreaded HOCD. Since I’m weeks into my reboot, It shocked me so much that I wanted to commit suicide too. But I realized first that the underlying problem was OCD, not HOCD, which was merely the latest manifestation of my OCD. Next I developed a strategy that has allowed me to overcome or at least control my destructive OCD thoughts in a matter of weeks. I honestly feel that this monkey is off my back now. I don’t know if this will help you but it certainly helped me. I am glad that you have conquered your HOCD, but the problem with OCD is it’s like a little demon that can attach itself to any aspect of your thinking. Here’s what I have been doing and it has worked like a charm:

Step 1 – Personify your OCD. Imagine it as some type of being that you can see before your eyes. If you’re like me this being will be butt ugly and disturbing looking. Develop specific physical characteristics for it. Maybe it has fur or pointy ears or ugly teeth, whatever. See it before your eyes and watch as it tries relentlessly to jump out of your view and into your head. Don’t let it! My strategy was I put it in a thick plexiglass cage so that I could keep my eye on it. OCD is going to HATE this and it will writhe in agony as you do it. Enjoy this! It will try to get out and you must keep it confined by any means necessary. This can actually be kind of a fun way to use your imagination and it will teach you that you can do ANYTHING in your mind and that you are in control – not the OCD. This is the most important step because by doing this, you become “the watcher” and you are in control. The OCD no longer pervades your consciousness. I have found that it helps to say “I see you.” This step is also somewhat contradictory to my theory that fantasy should be eliminated from the consciousness of the OCD sufferer. But bear in mind that if you are experiencing an OCD attack, you are already wrapped up in fantasy so I figure you might as well do this while you’re there.

Step 2 – Make OCD your BITCH!!! OCD is the voice of the ultimate devil’s advocate that has been plaguing you for many years. Torturing you with repeated unwanted thoughts that are ALWAYS, ALWAYS LIES, cleverly twisting the truth into perversions that can seem so believable that they can feel real. So get MAD! The key to making it your bitch is to say to it “We have been playing your game for X years and I am done. It’s time for you to play my game.” Your game is simple – live your life to the fullest, staying IN THE MOMENT and enjoying every second of every day. The OCD is supposed to try to mess that up be butting its ugly ass in with doubts and “What if’s?” Let it know that it is going to loose. Don’t play OCD’s game! If you have some worry come along and you feel compelled to do some action or mental exercise to “prove to yourself” that the worry is not legitimate, you are playing OCD’s game and you will lose. Do not get into a debate with OCD – remember it is as smart as you are because it is a part of your own consciousness. NO ONE is better at outsmarting you than yourself. Don’t play that game – just drop it no matter what. You don’t owe OCD the time that it takes to debate with it – life is too precious! Say something like “Nice try bitch but you lose again!” Get back into the moment and concentrate on the present. Where are you? What are you doing? What problem are you actually facing right now? The true answer will always be “No problem”.

So stay in the here and now as much as possible. There are many techniques to do this. One very effective technique is to concentrate first on what you are doing and where you are, and then on your own body, specifically your breathing. But if OCD butts its ugly ass in, go back to step 1. The whole process might take a while at first, but eventually it will only take a matter of seconds. Remember that EVERYTHING THAT OCD TELLS YOU IS A FUCKING LIE FROM THE PIT OF HELL! Do not waiver on this belief. Do not try to analyze the lie to prove that it is such – remember that is OCD’s game. Just stubbornly stand firm on your deep down knowledge that you know the truth. You do.

I think my success with overcoming OCD might not have occurred if OCD hadn’t tried to attack my sexuality. I never really saw it for what it was until recently. OCD thrives on stealth. The worst decision OCD could have ever made with me was to try to attach itself to my sexual orientation. That was a lie that I would never accept in a million years no matter what OCD made me think or feel. I did some research and learned about OCD and how it has been plaguing me from time immemorial. That was the beginning of the end for my OCD. I win!

I highly recommend the book Accessing the Power of Now to anyone dealing with OCD. OCD plagues its sufferers through malignant fantasies otherwise known as worries. Without fantasy, OCD has no avenue to reach you. I would suppose that eventually, after having let go of fantasy for a long enough time, one could begin to reopen the doors and allow more healthy fantasies in, once OCD has died off in the mind.