Since I'm at an all time high (more than half a year), I've decided to write out my thoughts, experiences and tactics for tackling this beautiful thing called NoFap.
From reading this subreddit it's very easy to spot a common trend amongst the big majority of NoFappers. Everyone who took some time and invested some energy in this knows the entire theory behind NoFap, right? They know the why and the how behind the entire idea. But it's glaringly visible that amongst the 60k users here, only a small minority succeed in completing the 90 day challenge and truly are committed to NoFap. The big majority is what I used to be like:
Knows that NoFap is right, yet they keep relapsing and telling themselves they'll eventually do the damn thing and hook themselves off the addiction. But they won't. Just like a smoker who throws away his cigarettes and then digs through his garbage to get them out because they desperately need a hit of nicotine.
Why does this happen and how to finally succeed?
Part 1 - Complete understanding of the NoFap idea and an understanding of your motivations
I'll make this easy for myself and just point you to this link:
Don't worry, it's not a porn site. Ok, it was a porn site. It was posted in this subreddit a while ago. The owner of the site made a complete 180 and wrote out a huge essay about NoFap, sexual energy and celibacy.
Read the entire text carefully and you will completely understand the entire idea behind NoFap.
And when you understand the idea, if you have half a brain and common sense, no offense, you'll find the reasons to do NoFap and you really should have an intrinsic motivation. It is an incredibly written text and covers male sexuality in a way never seen in modern society, the true way.
Part 2 - Conquer your mind, conquer NoFap - consciousness and awareness
After step 1, you should have enough motivation built up inside you not to struggle for the first few days. Many people may struggle from day 1, but I firmly believe that step 1 should put you in such a mindset that the first few days will have you excited not to fap, and you wouldn't do it even if you had porn playing in front of you.
Then what happens? The early motivation wanes, It happens quickly, a few days is usually all it takes. You see a hot picture, have a sexy dream and all of a sudden, you're relapsing.
It feels fucking great.
For the first minute or two. That's the sudden onrush of missing dopamine caused by too much masturbation and then a sudden cessation of the practice for longer than what your brain likes period of time.
Then the dopamine stops rushing. It flatlines. It stops feeling good mid-fap. You eventually orgasm.
How to avoid this?
Remember, it all starts in the mind. I will list two rules below. When I say rules, I mean it. You have to follow these 2 simple rules if you want to succeed with NoFap:
- Do not, in any way, shape or form, touch yourself sexually. Not even a little.
- Do not look at porn, hot images, images that are subtly sexual. Just avoid focusing on anything sexual if it's not a real woman in real world which you're able to talk to and connect to like a normal fucking person. Note: Don't even fantasise in your mind. Just don't.
What about sudden rushes of urges and dopamine, what do you do when you enter "the haze"?
What is - "the haze"? It is a state of mind in a male, when he is aroused and thus the primary task for the brain and the body is to impregnate the female because ofcourse, that is our main purpose in this life. The animal can't think rationally and succumbs to his biological urges which is to achieve orgasm and reproduce as fast as possible.
The "haze" is very powerful but since we as humans can think and are a bit more advanced than animals, it's safe to say that you can master escaping it every single time.
I recommend The S.T.A.R. Method
Part 3 - How to "orgasm" with NoFap and make it a natural part of your life (forever)
If you follow the above two rules and completely avoid any sexual stimuli which isn't a real woman you will have huge amounts of pent up sexual energy in you. Which brings us to this:
Read it, learn it, use it. Thank me later.
It's important to be conscious and aware of potential triggers and situations. It's important to be able to predict, react and stop. Use your sexual energy and transmute it into anything other than the empty act of fapping. Your life will improve tenfold.
What do I mean by "orgasming" with NoFap?
Well, the problem many NoFappers have is that NF seems like an uphill struggle. It's hard, it's long and there doesn't seem to be an actual end or a finite act to all this such is the orgasm to the Fap. The only "ending" is the made up number of 90 or whatever days. That doesn't even make sense. Why do the 90 days struggling and then what, get back into the habit of fapping 3 times a day and get back to being a human zombie?
That's why we use Sexual Transmutation which you've read up on.
Read slowly and carefully:
The urge you feel when you are horny and want to fap/have sex is NOT strictly the urge to cum. It is not an urge to have sex or masturbate.
You don't need to have sex or masturbate ever again in your life and you'll be just fine.
But what is it then?
Despite not needing sex/fap and being completely fine without it, there's one thing you can't avoid.
You have to discharge your sexual energy through an outlet. Be it sex, fap or (you guessed it) transmuting your sex energy into football, painting, music, whatever art, hobby or sport you're into, the sexual energy MUST be discharged.
As the text says, if it's not discharged, it will force it's way out. (read: relapse.) Through sexual transmutation you achieve "orgasm" by discharging your sexual energy without actually losing your vital life force on nothing and bombarding your brain with mind shifting dopamine from porn.
You still get horny, then you "fap" by discharging your sex energy and ultimately you are sexually satisfied.
Does it sound familiar?
Well, I've run out of things to say. This is it from me. I didn't talk about benefits, E.D., this or that...this is a pure guide on how to succeed in NoFap. NoFap is a continous process and as such it has to be managed, otherwise you will fail.
People forget. Write out a few hard facts from what you've learned today and read them every single morning to yourself. Be conscious, be aware, never let your guard down.
Conquer your mind. It's easier if you know how and why.