For 20 years, this novelist had a secret addiction

In public, Benjamin Obler was happy, had a successful career and was able to form relationships with women – while in private he was gripped by a compulsion to watch pornography. Here, he opens up about his destructive habit and his battle to conquer it.

2010: It’s 7am on a Tuesday in January, a dark winter morning. I scurry into the building, thinking of the admission I must make: This past week, I looked at internet porn.

Age 22 - Acne has improved drastically

Currently on a ~50 day streak (hardmode). Everything is going great. I'm experiencing MANY psychological benefits. That being said, the most obvious physical benefit is the loss of acne. My lifelong acne has seriously almost completely vanished. It's as miraculous as it sounds.

Age 26 - My mind feels clearer, More energy, Improved confidence, My interactions are healthier and more genuine

I can confirm the following from rebooting:

  • My mind tends to feel clearer and I have more energy (You can attribute this to going from releasing copious amounts of dopamine in the form of PMO to exploring healthier avenues; working out, reading, and other hobbies).

I feel like a totally new person...Like I was living in someone else's skin my WHOLE life and now I'm free

How I found NoFap: I was randomly surfing the internet for a movie which I saw when I was a kid and for some reason my search led me to Nofap (btw it wasn't an adult movie, it was some movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger). At first, I was like "wow they are really serious about this", I was shocked by how serious of an addiction the contributors made PMO seem. My whole life I never saw PMO as an addiction, especially since it has been advertised all over the media as a "healthy stress reliever".

Age 27 - DE completely gone, erections still recovering

Long time fan here, always admired the group but this is my first go at it - doing about 45 days or so without any PMO. I can confirm what everyone says, and the results are AMAZING. Probably better than most drugs that people waste their lives and money on.

Age 15 - Not watching porn or masturbating really helps tons

I thought I'd give back with a 90 day report. NoFap has been one incredible journey, and I can honestly say that it changed my life. My first attempt at NoFap lasted 2 weeks, my second lasted another week, and my third attempt has lasted me until 93 days. So much changed about me due to NoFap; confidence, self esteem, ability to socialize, and motivation. Most importantly, I saved my sexuality from a world of objectification and from being bound to technology.

Age 21 - I love life way more than I used to. Mentally stronger, More empathetic, Stronger immune system

Learned about NoFap last year. Had an on and off thing. (First time went cold turkey for 82 days, relapsed, 60 days, relapsed, 30 days, relapsed, etc..) Now I have no idea what I’m on but probably around 2 months. I think my brain is 90% healed by now. Thought I'd share my experience here.

Dear Sugars, Should I marry my porn-addicted fiancé? With Noah Church

Listen to the episode here. Cheryl Strayed (author of Wild) and Steve Almond invited me onto their wide-ranging advice podcast “Dear Sugar Radio” to help them tackle the issues of porn addiction and problematic porn use in a relationship. Together we answer a letter from “Unsure”, who is engaged to a man who can’t seem to stop using porn and (worse) lying to her about it. We also cover my story and general info about porn addiction and porn-induced symptoms.

Age 29 - My brother and I both quit porn

Hey guys, I'm 29, I've been involved in the nofap community for about 2 years. I've probably had 4-5 streaks of over 10 days, the longest being 24 days. This time is so much different than before. A) I'm completely hardmode B) I also quit drinking at the same time, so I'm feeling pretty holy right now.

No more floppy dick!

I haven't posted here in over a year, and my flair hasn't been updated for a long time. But guess what? My flair is up-to-date. The last time I fapped was in September 2015. The last time I had an inexplicable floppy dick was in January 2016.

Age 37 - First date in months

Will try and sum up my life here. Quit booze this year and made lots of positive changes in my life, cutting out negative things, took up positive things. On way to sorting out finances, sober all year, diet/exercise/weights good at times, overall ok. Quit porn/fap 32 days ago.

Age 20 - Greater pleasure in the simple things in life, More confidence, Assisting people has become more automatic, Function better at work & social gatherings

I have been trying to quit for the past two years, and this is the first streak where I have gone more than a month without masturbating. I quit porn because I wanted to experience more of my emotions, and handle them like normal humans do. It really blunts me, it didn't bother me until I became aware of how cold and callous I was compared to others.

Age 24 - PIED & escalated to HOCD and weird abusive porn: I didn't think I'd ever be normal again

I have successful sex once every other day with no added help. This is a big success for me as I didn't think I'd ever be normal again or get a normal erection real life with a girl due to so many failed attempts. I love my life now the only problem is I am too horny for my gf! She can literally rub her bum against me and I am rock hard  for ages.

Decoding AASECT's "Position on Sex Addiction"

We have written about the public “debate” over sex and pornography addiction, and have been especially critical of news stories that attempt to reduce complex issues into simplistic headlines.  Intentionally or not, news articles blaring “Porn/Sex Addiction Isn’t Real” perpetuate the stigma of problematic sexual behavior. 

Age 29 - I'm feeling actual feelings, More outgoing, Connecting with people more, I have a girlfriend

I’m a smart and disciplined guy. I believe in learning from the mistakes of others. I know that I swing into the extremes of things (oh doing magic tricks are cool… so I’ll spend all my time learning magic tricks). I was warned about tobacco and alcohol. I’ve never tried either because I knew that I didn’t want to get hooked and wanted to be happy without them. No one ever warned me about the perils of masturbation.


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