NoFap was all about attracting women, I now know it is something MUCH greater

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Confident guyFor over the past year, NoFap was all about attracting women, being "alpha"/dominant, erasing social anxiety, boosting confidence, etc, etc.. Due to a set of circumstances and personal experiences, I now know it is something MUCH greater. Read this to develop the ultimate self confidence. I've been going on and off NoFap for over a year now. My longest period of No PMO was about 5 months, but this was when I first discovered yourbrainonporn/nofap, and I wasn't nearly as forward thinking as I am now. I've currently been 100% No PMO for about the past 2 and a half months. I'm feeling great, as expected... but there's some things I'd like to address.

I've been focusing A LOT lately on becoming more confident, getting rid of my social anxiety, being dominant, becoming the alpha male, picking up chicks, and everything else in this category. I've come to the realization that I always look for validation everywhere I go. Not by impressing people, but rather, I always look around myself to see which women are checking me out. If I get checked out, ego boost. If I don't, ego crash. This is NOT the right approach to confidence ladies and gentlemen!

I've been focusing a lot on my body language, vocal intonations, and everything else that is aimed towards the characteristic of being dominant... Until last night.

A series of circumstances and experiences shed MASSIVE amounts of light on this situation for me. I've been stressing in particular about this whole "becoming alpha" thing A LOT these past 2 weeks. I, and most likely most of you, have been approaching this ALL wrong.

I've read about "sexual transmutation" plenty of times on here and other places. It's where you transmute, or "transform", sexual energy into productive energy towards self improvement and success. It really didn't hit me how powerful this process is until tonight.. It was further compounded when I read the full chapter on sexual transmutation by Napoleon Hill in "Think and Grow Rich" which is a MUST READ if you want to take things to the next level in your life.. You can read it here : http://www.sacred-texts.com/nth/tgr/tgr16.htm (It's a bit of a long read, but SO worth it.)

Anyways, I've come to the realization that I've been approaching this all wrong. I've been focusing on the women and social status power aspect of things to further me.. This is NOT the way to do it!!

Instead, stop looking for random hook ups and fuck sessions with women! Firmly declare in your mind that you will not have sex, or any kind of sexual relations, with a woman unless she is your girlfriend. Also firmly declare that you will NOT make a woman your girlfriend unless you and her connect 100% and are POSITIVE that she's the one for you during this period of your life. DO NOT just date a girl because she's attractive, popular, or something else. A girl that you date for those superficial qualities will not bring you what you need in your life at this time to advance you to your next stage. You need a woman (or a boyfriend, if you're female/gay), that shares the same interests, that you vibe with COMPLETELY, and that you are absolutely 100% comfortable with.

I noticed that whenever I hook up with a really attractive woman of high social status, my confidence is boosted MASSIVELY the next couple of days.

Here's where the secret to all of this comes in :

1.) If you're not staring at every woman that you see - because you find her attractive and want to fuck her - your confidence is going to naturally shoot EXTREMELY high, because you're no longer trying to impress anyone or look for validation. It doesn't matter how hot she is, or how nice her ass is, or how much cleavage she's showing.. You've already declared in your mind that you will not have sex with ANY of these women, and you mean it. They are COMPLETELY off the list as far as sexual relations goes. After that initial social pressure of trying to attract a mate is gone, you can be yourself COMPLETELY, because it doesn't matter what they think of you, whether they like you or not after that.

2.) When you DO finally get an amazing girlfriend that is PERFECT for you, you will ALSO have that massive amounts of confidence. Just as I said before, when I hook up with a very pretty girl, or a girl I like a lot, or a girl that has high social status, I feel extremely confident because I have become "validated" in their eyes.. I was worthy. When you have an awesome girlfriend, you have this all the time. You are validated with her. She is yours, you are hers.. Nothing else.

In short, this method leads to MAXIMUM AMOUNTS OF CONFIDENCE, and the 100% EXPRESSION OF YOUR TRUE SELF at ALL TIMES, for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

You will no longer be looking to impress girls. The one girl that you click with 100% that you don't HAVE to try to impress, will eventually be your girlfriend. It all works out. It's all a "spiritual" puzzle, if you will, and these are the pieces required to develop the most confidence a human being can attain.

Keep in mind.. When you stop paying attention to girls because you will not be sexual with them, THEY will start eyeballing you like a piece of meat. THEY will want validation from you because they see that they don't phase you. Your head will not be turning and checking them out, or looking to see if they notice you.. DO NOT let this new found women-magnetism of yours lead you to try to indulge in sexual behavior, or you will end up right back at the bottom of the pit.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST - you must TRANSMUTE the sexual energy. Don't just refrain from sex or gawking at women. Actually USE this new energy to make yourself successful, knowledgeable, wise, and every other good quality you could attain. The "Think and Grow Rich" chapter I posted above will describe in more detail how to do this..

TL;DR: There is no TLDR. You must read the whole thing. If you don't, you will most likely continue suffering from an inferiority complex, grasping at every empty sexual encounter you can get your hands on. Read the whole thing, and THINK about it. Those that are ready to receive this will understand it. Those who aren't ready, will down vote it, and eventually find it a later date :)

For over the past year, NoFap was all about attracting women, being "alpha"/dominant, erasing social anxiety, boosting confidence, etc, etc.. Due to a set of circumstances and personal experiences, I now know it is something MUCH greater. Read this to develop the ultimate self confidence.

By ChlorellaMan

Comments

This is one of the BEST posts I've read here! Socially anxious, low confidence people should definitely read these words of wisdom! THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I agree 100% with all that you said. As I am also having problems having conversations, especially with attractive women (probably due to PMO), this approach makes the most sense than anything other that I've read. WOW!

GREAT article. And Hill's essay on sexual transmutation was fascinating.
(To the Admin, you might want to change the article picture: it's of Shannon Elkins, the nasty gay-basher from Survivor!)

I totaly understood your post since i ve been thinking on this matter in past dozen months, however i also was influenced to a degree by certain autor, I did read the chapter 11 from Napoleon Hill book as you sugested, it is funny how i start reading this book long time ago but i quit because i was overwelmed from the first couple of chapters.
For every one reading this comment you shall read the works of Antonio Meneghetti an italia whos is very much concentrated on man maters, unfortunately i haven't seen much english translations of his books.
antonio meneghetti- il modo maschio