The Other Porn Experiment

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What can informal control groups of former porn users show us?

Websites with no-fap threads (click on picture) The widespread use of Internet porn is one of the fastest-moving, most global experiments ever unconsciously conducted. But it's not the only groundbreaking porn experiment going on today. Devastated by sexual performance problems or other crippling symptoms (such as morphing sexual tastes, loss of attraction to real mates, and uncharacteristic desire to isolate), users are taking the initiative. They are conducting their own counter-experiments by the thousands.

By stopping porn use and sharing their "findings" publicly, these guys are, in effect, the missing control group of non-porn users that researchers say they can't produce. (In 2009, when researcher Simon Louis Lajeunesse attempted to investigate the effects of Internet porn on college guys, he couldn't find any who weren't using it.)

Why do control groups matter? Imagine if all guys started smoking heavily at age 10 and there were no groups who didn't. We'd all assume lung cancer was normal for guys.

In the case of Internet porn, usage is nearly universal among today's young males. Without control groups, it has been hard to know which, if any, of their diverse symptoms, might be arising from years of continuous Internet porn use.

Informal control groups to the rescue

At last, humanity has a way of comparing Internet erotica use with non-use on a wide scale. Sure, it's not ideal. It's not double-blind and it's not randomized. But this new informal experiment has its own advantages that many formal studies lack: It is international, very large, public, and growing. Thousands of experimenters are springing up in all kinds of forums where men congregate: bodybuilding sites, pick-up artist sites, information sites, sports sites, etc, and the threads are often thousands of posts long.

My mindset has definitely shifted. I was never thinking that porn would cause problems for me but it did and quitting porn use confirmed this.

One active pocket of explorers is on www.reddit.com, a popular hangout for today's youngish Internet-savvy males. Most of reddit.com is militantly pro-porn use, which makes the 65,000+ Reddit "[No] Fapstronauts" bold indeed. (A Fapstronaut describes the Reddit 90-day challenge.)

For the uninitiated, "fapping" is slang for masturbating to Internet porn. Most young men in the Reddit generation have not masturbated without the aid of the Internet, so for them porn and masturbation are synonymous. In fact, many are surprised to discover that, when they give up Internet porn and their brains return to normal sensitivity, climax without porn is a more sensual, satisfying experience. 

Porn-loving detectives at work

Why would a porn-loving guy quit? Symptoms vary, but most guys quit only because they figure out that they may have developed porn-related sexual dysfunction. Two guys explain:

Guy 1: When I started no-fap, I couldn't even get hard on porn. That is how addicted I was. Watching porn had become a daily habit for me, not something I did because I was horny. Guy 2: I noticed my behavior and mojo would change depending on if/when I fapped, yet still I heard all around me that masturbating/porn is normal and healthy. But I had difficulty finishing with my girlfriends. I actually faked orgasm to hide this, and dreaded [receiving oral sex] without using my hands. To fix it, I'd not fap until after I met them for sex.

What kinds of improvements do no-fappers report?

Rebooter from our forum: I've just reached 5 weeks of no porn, no masturbation. I'm over the flu-like [withdrawal] symptoms and I've started hitting the weights again. It feels good to be squatting again. ROAR! The insomnia has gotten better, though there are still restless nights, but my quality of sleep has improved dramatically. I've also noticed some morning wood. Redditor: I don't mean to come across as melodramatic, but suicide was a serious daily contemplation. I hated other people, who seemed so cheery, and was just angry and frustrated. [Quitting porn] has changed me for the better. I feel like life is once again worth living.

Others are rediscovering what it's like to enjoy social interactions and be attracted to real mates, what full erections are, and how great intercourse feels to a brain that is no longer desensitized. Many report improvements in confidence, mental clarity, charisma, vocal quality, self-respect, and ability to socialize and flirt. They feel like themselves again, or perhaps for the first time. After all, a fish only grasps the concept of water when it leaves it behind. In short, the very symptoms psychologist Philip Zimbardo describes in his short TED talk about the effects of "Internet arousal addiction," are receding in these "test subjects."

Distressing news

The only worrying bit of data from the informal control groups is that porn addicts who cut their teeth on highspeed are not recovering their sexual performance as quickly as those who engaged in courtship/mating behaviors with real partners before they dove into highspeed (see - Young Porn Users Need Longer To Recover Their Mojo). This is more evidence that today's porn has different effects on some brains from static porn of the past.

Unfortunately, this generally means that a younger guy with sexual performance problems can expect a slower recovery than a guy who has been using porn far longer. Adolescent brains with early access to limitless highspeed porn appear to be more vulnerable to its effects than older brains. This phenomenon is consistent with the unique features of the adolescent brain, and the way brains prune back unused circuitry by adulthood, possibly leaving some porn fans stranded with a strong attraction to pixels only.

Existing research on Internet porn is, in effect, anecdotal

Keep in mind that in essence, all existing journal studies on Internet porn use have been anecdotal, because they had no control groups of non-porn users. (We're not speaking of the recent Internet addiction brain research that includes porn use too.) The questionnaire-based research seems to fall into two categories:

  1. Has Internet porn caused an increase in crime, rape, and other irrelevant data?
  2. How does the user "feel" about porn?

As for 1: Stats on declines in rapes or violence are irrelevant when attempting to isolate risks upon users. From all anecdotal reports, Internet porn addiction takes the starch out of guys. Actually, there's one variable correlated with porn addiction: watching porn. In other words, when someone is addicted to food, she eats; when someone is addicted to video games, he plays video games; when he is addicted to porn, he watches porn. Video game addicts don't become ninja killers, and porn addicts don't become rapists.

As for 2, guess what? Porn users like porn. Most see no problem with it. More important, they assume it's not creating any negative consequences (and it may not be). But if you are 22, and all you have ever known from age 11 is daily Internet porn use, how do you know whether it is connected with symptoms (if any)? Most guys only figure out what's going on if they experiment with stopping:

I'm a 16-year-old boy/man. When I was young I was carefree, but as I grew older I started to become extremely depressed, unmotivated and shy. I've only recently realised how much being addicted to porn and masturbation (since I was 12) has affected my life. I feel like I've wasted enough of my life at this point, and I'm determined to stop this addiction. The first time I realised that abstaining from masturbation has many benefits was about two months ago. I went almost two weeks. I felt extremely confident and found it really easy to talk to girls and people I didn't know. In fact, the first time I intentionally went without masturbation, I fell in love.

Student, 22 - My friends and I were inspired by the Seinfeld episode "The Contest" and by "40 Days and 40 Nights" (both comedies about trying to temporarily stop masturbating). Just the challenge of it was fun, but I also found that my interest in girls lined-up properly with reality. Instead of daydreaming about doing a pornstar in some crazy position, I planned exactly how I'd ask the girl-next-door to the Valentine's dance. Anyway, I went to college (and started watching porn again), and my education never took off, and my dating/sex-life never took off. I eventually dropped out and worked for a few years, and now I'm back at college. I feel like my life almost passed me by. More self-reports

American Society of Addiction Medicine logo The glaring knowledge gap left by the absence of formal control groups has actually already been closed by addiction specialists, although the mainstream hasn't yet caught up with this development. Last year, the American Society of Addiction Medicine (doctors and researchers) declared that addiction is one disease, not many. ASAM specifically stated sexual behavior addictions are as real as drug addictions, and that all addictions can be assessed the same way. So, while research isolating porn users would be interesting, it would also be superfluous.

Even more recently, a wealth of new Internet addiction research has come out confirming that Internet addiction (1) changes brains in the same ways that other addictions do and (2) causes depression, anxiety, hostility, interpersonal sensitivity, and psychoticism in some users. It also reveals rates of addiction in young male Internet users that are more than twice the rates of drug and alcohol use in the population. Also see Cambridge University: Brain scans find porn addiction

Porn use was not excluded from the studies, and, in any case, there is no reason to think Internet porn alone would be less addictive than porn+Facebook+whatever (overall usage). In fact, of all Internet media, cyber erotica has the greatest addictive potential. Incidentally, if you're hooked, be optimistic. Two of the studies, which also scanned former addicts who chose to abstain, found reversal of some addiction-related brain changes.

Still, without easy-to-understand research that isolates Internet porn use, includes control groups and leads to simple headlines, it has been challenging for mainstream journalists to grasp, or report on, the significance for porn users of the new Internet addiction research. Some inadvertently mislead readers by implying that researchers have investigated porn users' brains and found nothing. This risks perpetuating a false sense of safety in those who begin to notice symptoms.

Moreover, some academics have been quick to assert that the only possible conclusion (in the absence of the ideal controlled studies), is that Internet porn has no harmful effects. Huh? This position creates risk for addicts, who generally seize upon any excuse to continue using, as well as for adolescents whose brains are particularly vulnerable and whose impulse control has not yet fully developed.

One single variable

Today's informal control groups are showing us just how profoundly highspeed porn alters the lives of those whose brains are sensitive to the stimulation of constant novelty-at-a-click. By removing the single variable of frequent highspeed porn use, vital, illuminating data are being collected and shared informally. Lives are transforming.

Gravity existed before anyone figured it out. So did the hazards of smoking. So do the symptoms of Internet porn addiction. Wide scale human experience can reveal important insights, even when science is immobilized by sexual politics and the impossibility of finding porn virgins. Anecdotal evidence becomes experimental evidence when thousands of people alter only one variable and see remission of common symptoms.

Thanks to the control groups now crystallizing on the web, guys are no longer flying (or fapping) blind.


In the comments section below are posts from other forums. These guys are experimenting with giving up porn, masturbation, or both. Many claim they are not addicted to porn.

To understand the possible neurobiology behind many of these benefits, see Porn, Masturbation and Mojo: A Neuroscience Perspective

Comments

LINK - I MADE IT

Wow. It's been one hell of a ride. 90 days you guys, and I finally made it! It's been tough, but these last 90 days have been awesome for me.

Of all the changes I've experienced, here's a few I can think of off the top of my head.

  • Increased sex drive (easier arousal, more genuinely turned on by women in all aspects instead of objectifying them)
  • Higher quality social interactions with everyone! Guys and girls alike.
  • More energy
  • More confidence

It's been an amazing 90 days guys! I've kept my entries down because I wanted to stay away from temptation (the internet), but I couldn't have done this thing without this community! Thank you all!

LINK -

Since limiting my porn+masturbation to once a week (every Sunday), I’ve definitely noticed a difference in my life. Longer eye contact with people, feeling a little more confident, more energy to be social, yesterday I was happy for no reason and started dancing all the way up my stairs into my apartment…wouldn’t happen if I had masturbated the night before. If you have any form of social anxiety or aren't completely satisfied with your social life, you’re selling yourself short to continue using porn+masturbation every night. First try to go 7 days without porn+masturbating and see the effects for yourself, if you have the will power then try your best to limit porn+masturbation to once or twice a week…it can be a rewarding experience for some (including myself)

Hi guys and gals of NoFap,

I'm 2 weeks into nofap and noporn. I decided to quit fapping and porn for life, a decision that's impossible to regret. What I wanted to share is what I feel.

When I wake up till when I go back to bed I have this deep rooted urge. This drive, this hunger for life, for sex, for girls, for power, for kicking ass. It feels as if i'm propelled forward by a fire in my pelvis, in my balls. Now that i've quit this artificial thing called porn, given up on artificial food and as many artificial stimuli that are disposable, I feel amazing.

It feels as I'm a step closer to my viking ancestors, driven by hunger and lust for adventure to foreign shores. Undertaking more daring things every day, smithing a desire to build my empire. Seeing storms on the horizon but steering boldly forward into the belly of the beast. I share the urge to plant my flagpole in fertile soil. We shall harry the coasts where our docile and weak counterparts lay idle and live vicariously through porn and other distractions. And they will not know what hit them, for when they were fapping, we were sharpening our swords and hoisting our sails. We shall steal away their finest women and leave them the scraps of our tables. I have found a new source of pride and confidence in taming my inner waves of lust. And I'm building my longboat to ride those waves into valhalla.

I raise my sword for you, my brethren , and for valhalla.

My ancestors are Vikings, too, and I feel what you're saying. Nicely done!

ace8

Day Ten: Being myself.

I met a girl during my fap period. I kind of liked her. Hung out a few times, but nothing really manifested in the way of a relationship. I basically got friend-zoned. The thing is, I was never comfortable in my own skin around her. Even in the friend zone. I was never myself. Kind of always kicking myself for saying or doing things that were way out of character. I was just flailing around. We've stayed friends because of common interests.

Yesterday I had lunch with her. I know I'm only 10 days in, but man, the conversation was just easy. It's like doing this has put me back in touch with myself. If I know myself I know exactly what to say and when to say it. I didn't really care how she took what I was saying because it was the truth. If she didn't like it, that's her problem. I'm allowed to have my own thoughts and opinions. We all are. It didn't even come to that and we had one of the best conversations we've ever had.

I know this is a small victory. I had a conversation with a friend, big deal right? But I can't help but feel a little pride. What I've learned is I'm still in here, I've been buried under some clutter, but I'm here.

sayno2porn

Today is a day 53 without PMO. But now things taking big turn. The urge of M&P is not strong but the urge of Sex is too strong to resist. It makes me crazy. I am always horny now. I just dont want to think about it but even if someone talking about girls makes me horny. thats weird...I feel restless all the time, i feel frustrated and i feel like my body wants me to just DO SOMETHING. i dont know what is happening to me..is it normal??

anyone has similar experience?? 

2 months before it was totally different . But now the desire of sex is very intense. After 50 days of abstaining from PMO i realized one thing that sexual power is really powerful ,the way it changes your thinking is really strange it can actually control your mind, the way you act.

and one more thing.. i am always scared of approaching girls(even now) but anyway i asked a girl out this weekend but she rejected me but in a nice way..it didnt feel bad.i'll try again.      

POSITIVE CHANGES Observed After 10 Days.

I've been at PMO-ing compulsively ever since a young age and honestly, I have to say that it destroyed almost every aspect of my life from the way I look, my attitude towards life and mental capacities such as my memory and focus.

Well fellow Fapstronauts, I'm proud to say that this is the first time I've hit a 2 digit in my push to keep porn and fap free and I must say that these are several positive changes I've observed:

  • I feel a whole lot less sluggish.
  • I ALIVE and HAPPY for no apparent reason.
  • My complexion seems to be improving.
  • One on the girls in my class commented on how my eyes 'seemed nicer'. Maybe it's because i don't look so dead anymore.

Well, yeah, that's about it I think. I'll be sure to update all of you within the next 10 days! Keep fighting the fight!

So, 4 weeks of nofap, breaking a 3 month long 3 day spell?

I've finally broken out of the 3 day circle I was in! Now I have enough experience now to simply confirm that fapping makes your skills with women worse, and, naturally, not fapping makes them better if you're fapping in the first place. It clogs your mind in many unnecessary ways. But I had a 46 days streak, where everything was great, but then I fell into a pattern for a few months, and without me noticing it really, my skills with girls gradually declined.

Now I've talked to several girls in the last weeks, and suddenly there has been a spark between us, more or less intense. This is the stuff I am nofapping for man! Also, I've gotten a lot more creatively active, and I'm making music again. I even think my voice might be better than before! :D Say what you want to, but for me, this shit works. I've experienced it, felt a huge difference between the nofapping and fapping way of life. Stay strong, for victory is in sight!

Unexpected positive effect

My struggles are far from being finished but I noticed a very cool positive effect these last days. No, my dick didn't double in size, I still have my anxiety induced by flatlining and energy levels aren't "through the roof".

But..

I'm freaking calm all the time. I'm not even sure I appear calm because I still can seem pissed or tired or stressed. But deep inside I do feel some kind of an ocean of calmness. It's like I discovered Buddhism.

Before when I struggled in a social situation I was like "Omg omg omg omg what do I do now?" Now it's more like "I ran out of stuff to say, oh well." or "Oh, I'm stressed, this will pass".

Today is day 15, and here are my results.

Let me tell you what's happened to me during the past two weeks. I went from being s depressed unproductive lump everyday to taking two online classes (not for credit, for FUN, holy shit) and keeping up with them, working more on a project than I even have been able to before, brushing my teeth twice every day and cleaning up my house regularly, getting up before eleven (semi) regularly, and appreciating my beautiful girlfriend even more.

Here's the best thing: yesterday, I found myself bored. Not bored like I used to be, like oh I have nothing to do, why does life suck so much right now. No, bored like wow, I literally have done everything I planned to do today, I have nothing else left to do, what do I do know? It was a feeling that I hadn't experienced in a long time. It felt great, it felt like I had improved my life, and it felt like I had genuinely accomplished something.

LINK to Nofap

I discovered this page as well as YBOP three weeks ago and immediately went on a ten day streak without PM but had intermittent sex with my girlfriend. On day 10 though, chaser struck and I relapsed once. Ever since, i.e. for the past 11 days, I've gone completely without any PMO whatsoever (girlfriend gone traveling for now, it will be difficult to keep up no-O in about two weeks from now, which is definitely what I want for the time being...any tips how best to sell this?).

To sum up, the results have been AWESOME. Much more motivation and energy for work, exercise and housework, brainfog and mental fatigue gone and replaced by a clarity of mind and an ability to concentrate that I haven't experienced for at least the past two years. I work in academia (theoretical economics), so my mental energy means everything to me and after trying to optimize and fix things along many lines with little effect (diet (now a well-planning and diligent Paris-exception vegan), supplements (Vit D, Zinc, Mag, B complex, L-Tyrosine, Creatine), exercise (running, weights), quitting coffee, sleeping well, cold showers etc.), I resorted to diverse stimulants and nootropics to be able to continue producing at least acceptable results (but nothing like what got me where I currently am or like what will keep me here, I was definitely on a downward trajectory in terms of productivity and stimulants always made it worse after a few weeks or months so I was never satisfied with them at all). I am 28 years old and started PMO at around 18, but until about two years ago without any apparent side effects. Over the years I usually combined a once-a-day PMO habit with girlfriends that added another 3-4 times weekly of O to that bill. Thank god I've never experienced any ED symptoms yet, but judging by what I've read here and elsewhere, this would have been only a matter of time... That said the brainfog and lack of motivation where more than enough to take for me already, it has been miserable and I never understood why all this happened to me, given I was eating on average much healthier, working out much more and generally living much cleaner than most of the people in my environment who didn't seem to have these problems. And looking at my own past self I was also sure (or at least hopeful?) I could do better than what had become my new normal. Thank you NoFap for showing me that I haven't been wrong.

Now 11 days is way to short to conclude anything of course, and my original intention was to wait with my post until my 90 days are completed. But the progress even after as little as 11 days (or 21 if you count that first streak in) has been so overwhelming, so I needed to share my exuberance. I sincerely hope things don't come crashing down too soon? I haven't been flatlining yet and am not quite sure what to expect in terms of motivation/energy during that time. But I'm almost positive it can't be much worse than before NoFap in the long run, so I'll stick with NoFap for at least my 90 days, this is as certain as the existence of gravity. No rationalizations, no second thoughts. I am partly also writing this post to remind myself at any future date of the great benefits I've had in only two weeks and that nothing is worth giving this up again.

Now that I've made abundantly clear my positives, I will say that I also noticed some of the usual negatives, albeit nowhere near negative enough to justify reconsidering NoFap:

  • blue, achy balls around days 5-9
  • some withdrawal symptoms around days 2-4 (like quitting coffee, mild head aches, slightly moody etc.)
  • occasional fights against temptation (still happening, but totally manageable, just wait and don't do it, or distract yourself with exercise or something)
  • somewhat more compulsive internet behavior (checking news etc.), not sure if this is purely subjective though

Lastly, one benefit I have DEFINITELY and beyond a doubt experienced is a different, more positive reaction from girls. More eye-contact from strangers, more flirtatious behavior from female friends/acquaintances (last Friday I almost cheated on my gf with a really cute co-worker after a department social at a bar but luckily somehow excused myself last minute; I never cheated on any of my girlfriends, so this would have left my NoFap trial with a definite bitter aftertaste...). I have no idea what the connection is here, and to be honest never quite believed this when I read it on NoFap before seeing it for myself. But I swear to god I am observing it most every day now.

At any rate, I'll be back with more experiences as day 90 draws nearer, hopefully as positive as the ones I am relating here.

Please feel free to ask anything, though I'm not sure I'm qualified to answer after only 11 days, but I will try my best.

SUMMARY: START TRYING RIGHT NOW; BENEFITS FOR ACADEMIC WORK ARE OVERWHELMING.

 

Hello fellow Fapstronauts,

I've been trapped in the PMO cycle for as long as I realized I had any anatomy to work with. Being 26 now, it's absolutely amazing to me how many thousands (if not tens of thousands) of hours of my life I've pissed away looking at pixels. I look back at the girlfriends I've had, and the times I would forgo time with a real human being in favor of sitting alone, PMOing, and feeling ashamed of myself.

I started NoFap simply because I was sick of the amount of time I was wasting essentially doing nothing. I was surprised to see I wasn't the only one who fell into the trap of watching their life pass them by, and being downright pissed off about it. I had tried a number of times to stop in the past, but always fell back down the well of PMO worse than before, and usually after only a couple of days. Also, I've had a couple resets (I'm honest about these things), but it's been about 5 weeks now that I've been following NoFap and I feel stronger now than I ever have before.

When I first started, I was worried that a lot of the beneficial effects would merely be placebo, but I'm witnessing physical changes greater than I would have ever imagined. I'm sure a good chunk of the benefits are the result of not being in a drowsy fog from constant PMO, but I would have never imagined results like this!

  1. Deeper, more confident voice. I used to stammer and mumble pretty severely when speaking in front of groups of people, and my nervousness would lead me to speak in a higher pitched tone. A couple weeks ago, I gave a speech in front of 150 people. My voice was clear, confident, and deeper than it has ever been before. Fuck yes.
  2. Added 40 pounds to my bench press in 5 weeks. I'm sure a good chunk of this can be attributed to simply having the energy to exercise more, but these are gains I never could have imagined. In college, when I was lifting 3-5 times per week, I could never get past the 225 plateau. In the post-college days I'd lost a good deal of my strength, and could get 1 or 2 reps off at 205 on my best days. I was almost in disbelief when I finished my second rep of 245. I have NEVER seen a gain like that, and I'm not taking anything (except a healthy diet).
  3. Ability to 10 miles, and not over the course of a week. I've always hated doing cardio. As a slightly portly, asthmatic guy, I downright loathed it. When I was in the best shape of my life in high school and working out 2-3 hours a day, I still never ran more than a couple miles at a time. Today I ran 10 miles, and in a time I can be proud of (1 hour 50 minutes). This is something that was so far out of the realm of imagination that I'm still completely in shock.
  4. Clearer mind, better ability to concentrate. Very simply, I've witnessed my own ability to focus on a single task degrade over the years. I'm sure it still has a long way to go, but it is refreshing to feel like I'm in control of my thoughts and desires, and that I can move forward in accomplishing what I set out for. God damn that is a refreshing feeling.

All this in 5 weeks, and with a couple speed bumps mixed in. I have absolutely worked my ass off, but for the first time in my life I feel like I have the time and energy to take on anything that may come my way. I feel more determined than ever to seize my life, and drive towards becoming the person I should be. I've been lurking for a while, but thank you to anyone who has posted their experiences. It's what has gotten me to this far, especially at night when there isn't much to engage me. I went from isolation, disappointment, and shame to solidarity and optimism. For that, thank you.

TL;DR: Roughly 5 weeks into utilizing NoFap, and I feel like fucking Batman. Pretty amazing what you can accomplish when you aren't stuck in the PMO loop

TheChieftan Jun 28, 2012

Hi, I'm 48 and was masturbating to porn mags and internet porn for a lot more years than you have been! I'm replying to you as a lot of the guys on here are very young and I think whist what they are going through is valuble info for all sometimes someone a little older may be a closer match to what yr going through.You need to remember, if we've been at this for 10 years plus then to expect a recover in 3 months is hopeful to say the least. There is no pattern here or formula. For some 3 months might do it but for others it will take longer. For me I went into the withdrawal mode and honestly felt like I was coming off drugs for about 2 weeks (not that I actually know what thats like!). I was moody, headaches, angry, sad etc. The whole spectrum of emotions but I stuck with it. After about a month I went into flatline and this lasted again for a few weeks. No interest at all in anything sexual. I thought my penis had given up and gone. Towards the end of the 3rd month I started to see and feel things that I hadnt for a long number of years. Morning erection, erections for no reason during the day etc. All this gave me confidence that I was on the right track. I'm now 6 months down the line and although I've had 2 occasions that I went back (one was deliberate to see what would happen) I can tell u that I am a different man from 6 months ago. My energy is back, my libido is in full flight, basically I feel like a teenager again. Porn and mastrubation screwed me up for almost 20 years and I had no idea it was doing it.

Keep going and don't get down heartened. All that you're feeling is perfectly normal and if u stay the course u will come out of it. 

Hi there guys, its been a long time since i was last in this forum.

Just finished the sixth month mark in my reboot progress.It was really hard at first but kept getting easier and easier as the days went by.But what i can truly say has helped me immensely in this recovery process is the ability to control my thoughts.The thing is i have been suffering from an anxiety disorder and i have been a habitual worrier(just discovered it after reading a couple of articles and books as i will describe later.) as far as i can remember.Last month i decided to combat this habit of constantly worrying and so i decided to go into one of the book shops in town to see what i could get that was talking about this area.

So i stumbled upon this book with the title"the worry solution" which talks of how worry and anxiety affects our moods and overall health.Also inside the book it shows different techniques of dealing with various unwanted thoughts using different relaxation techniques.This book has truly helped me deal with my anxiety attacks and constant worrying that comes along with these reboot process.

I haven't had a mate yet since i am coming from a sort of a break up (which was really hard on me) but even without a cuddling mate i am truly appreciating the benefits that come along with no pmo. My mood is great,my overall health is great since i have even added some few more pounds,and Most importantly my confidence and self-esteem has improved.I don't know if breaking up with that girl prior to this reboot process is the reason that i have come this far but one thing is for sure, am never going back to porn again.

Also another thing that has helped me immensely is the fact that i have changed alot of aspects in my life greatly and i have formed some new hobbies to kill away time e.g i read alot, and i have started to put more emphasis on my playing chess.I also find time to meditate which has improved my focus and concentration levels.

Just as a parting shot, i think putting a web filter on my computer was one of the smartest decisions i have made in long while which keeps me focused when am doing my work on the computer. I think with this filter in place(which i don't see getting rid of soon) will avoid formation of other bad habits such as internet addiction which i hear is far harder to quit than porn addiction.

Day 49-Life just keeps getting better

Hey guys,

everything is going well. i feel great. relaxed, confident, a supreme knowing that everything will work out...even better than my expectations smiley

my skin looks amazing, i am visibly glowing, i naturally stand taller, my voice sounds amazing, i feel like a genius, my talking skills have improved by a long shot, people are a million times nicer to me, i handle my emotions a kajillion times better.

there is really no words to describe how i feel. AND I AM ONLY ON DAY 49!!!!! It gets better than this?!!??!?!?!

i wouldn't change this experience for anything smiley

women are crushing on me hard. they are just in awe of my existence lol. everytime i am around women, they get nervous, they squirm, they glance, they look away, they let their guard down, they relax, they give me the deer-in-the-headlights look, or the classic doggy-bowl look. i promise you, i am not that good looking (maybe i am?). however, i feel like i am the hottest guy around. bask in my ambiance world lol. the catch 22 of this: even though i am gaining so much confidence, I FEEL SO HUMBLE. i feel incredibly meek.

guess thats what happens when you are holding a month and half of sperm in ya testes lol.

the best part is i dont want any of them. my first reboot goal=get women. 2nd reboot goal=find better quality women.

they all are amazing women, dont get me wrong.

before, i would take anything that was handed to me. now, i am a lot more picky. i want a queen. i want a beautiful, self-confident, strong but humble woman.

i have to start socializing more and i have to start weight training soon also.

in conclusion,

no PMO=GREATEST life hack ever.

life is good, God is good, prosperity and abundance for all.

LINK

Hy, I just want to say something about me. I'm 17 years old and I've been fapping to porn I guess for like 3-4 years or less don't know there was a time when I fapped like 2-3 times a day and I had no idea that was affecting me. I had no idea what was self esteem, confidence in a man.

 I was starting high school I had really high emotions when I was trying to talk to a girl, I wasn't making eye contact with the girl I was always looking on the walls, at her tits and she noticed that but she didn't say nothing and also I was really agitated that you could see that. I had a bad acnee and because of that I didn't really liked talking with anybody becuase the way I was looking.

 Only a year ago or something like that I saw this video on reddit Your Brain on Porn and that's when I realized that masturbation was the cause for me. All the symptoms was there, no self esteem, no confidence, agitated, too afraid to say anything, always cared about what ppl think of me. I found out about this subreddit, /nofap.

I was really trying but I couldn't get more then 2-3 days was impossbile and then I saw a post on reddit from /gonewild and that broke me again I was watching it every single day at pics with girls and the urge was even bigger to fap right away. After that i saw pics with male+female there having sex and then I thought about me what the fuck I'm doing what is my sexual life and from there all began for me. I still watch gonewild but I don't want to masturbate really I can control it.

 I haven't masturbate in 12 days and I feel so good about myself, a few days ago I was with my brother at the mall checking things out about clothes and what I wanted get for myself and I see the this blond girl coming towards me and I was telling to myself I have to talk to this girl my heart was beating so fast and after she passed me I ran after her and talked with her about 10 minutes after that I invited her to a drink and she accepted, we changed numers and now shes texting me every day and she wants to go out more often. I still can't belive this but I really think It's my time now to lose my virginity.

I really wish you good luck with your journey and never lose faith even if you broke from time to time.

LINK - Never thought this would happen.

This is my second go at nofap, having failed about three months ago after which I gave up for a while.

Anyway, about a week into nofap I was invited to a house party. I was enjoying myself with a few beers and a cigar. For the first time in nearly two years I was noticing girls keenly listening to what I was saying. They were touching me, smiling at me. I ended up spending a fair amount of time chatting to one girl in particular. Yesterday I ended up asking her out, and we're getting coffee tomorrow.

Not only that, but for the first time in years I'm feeling good about myself. I'm getting things done, carrying myself better, have a clearer mind and have nearly stopped procrastinating alltogether.

I haven't hit the flatline period, but all I can say is after only two weeks things are looking up, and can only continue to get better. Thanks heaps guys and soldier on.

I like this excellent explanation comparing those who have been deeply affected by porn use and other who experience less negative effects (addicted vs non-addicted).  

LINK

Change 'porn' or 'fapping' to some other addiction, and it might be easier to see why there is so much fervor for some people.

You are like a casual drinker who sees if he can go a month without drinking. At the end of the month, you say 'hmmm, that wasn't so bad, but I think I'll go out with my buddies and have a drink'. You can do so, because you're probably not an alcoholic.

But many of the people on here have addictions to masturbation and/or porn. For them, they see some of the same type of life/health benefits that an alcoholic would see after a few months of being sober. The first few weeks are hard ... VERY hard. And the benefits are pretty obvious.

But for many of us, that's because we weren't fully functioning in society. People's descriptions of superpowers are really just normal powers. Imagine if someone came up to you and said "dude, I've developed the superpower of being able to make it through the day without pissing myself". You'd probably think they were crazy until they said "oh yeah, I am an alcoholic". Many of the superpowers described by nofappers would sound equally laughable to someone who is not stricken by some of the social anxieties and other issues brought on by internet/porn addiction (for example, many nofappers are incredulous that without porn they'll actually talk to women, and that women will talk back ... to them, the lack of social anxiety, the ability to get an erection at 20-something, and willingness of women to recognize them are considered super powers).

The thing about porn is that it has crept up on society as a major problem - it is easy to hide, the side effects are less obvious than drinking/drugs, and it is typically done outside of view of others. It's often easy to spot a hardcore alcoholic, but can you spot a hardcore porn addict? The internet has made instant gratification so incredibly easy, and the rush so strong, that it is no wonder that 20,000+ people are trying to rid themselves of it.

Second guy giving his perspective -

I may be new at this, but if nofap can cure my ED, then I may become overzealous as well.

Unless you have ED, have to resort to very taboo porn to get off, or are masturbating multiple times a day instead of fucking chicks, you really have no reason to bash people who have seen these problems be solved by nofap. Don't be a douche. 

After a month, much PIV success (perhaps the most important reason) and personality change.

29 y.o. male, masturbated since 7 maybe, normal porn till 15, escalating porn all the way to 29.

So my reason for getting into this was I was so frustrated that I sometimes couldn't get it up, and when I got it up, ejaculation rate was 10%.

Throughout my journey, I didn't really have the urge to look at porn, because I had an important reason (porn ED), which drove me to forget PM for good. Or it could be flatline. Though I must say, I had it rather mild (in terms of withdrawal AND flatline).

This past week I've had sex quite a few times, and 4 out of 5 were PIV ejaculations. I still had to imagine my favourite fetish a wee bit, but all in all it's still much easier to cum.

Another plus side? I've become much more expressive during sex, compared to last time where I'd just do it quietly/timidly, while being expressionless because I needed to concentrate so hard on my fetish and also worry about my softening penis. Now I'm a lil more dominant, rougher, and more vocal. Also, penis stays hard without effort.

Best decision I've made this year so far. Keep at it guys. The pros outweigh the cons.

LINK - I'm 30.

Yes i'm older than most of you, and i've been fapping since 13 at least 1 time per day. my porn consumption have been escalating from regular nudity to the most fucked up shit and while i'm not ashamed, i really think something was wrong with me. The last 3 years were a nightmare! i've been freelancing and i've not been very successful .. and you know what? every time an in success occurs i've fapped the bad feeling away. like eroins addicted do. exactly the same.

but here we go to the good part , when i saw Your Brain On Porn ted presentation and decided to give this thing a try .. i've been trying to improve my willpower lately with different approaches (meditation, quit sugar and carbs, running 10km, quit smoking) .. and i felt this was an interesting challenge.

in 50 days i accomplished:

  • i'm more secure of myself
  • flatline? not even once. au contraire, i'm having strong boners all the time just thinking about the idea of sex .. or kissing! i'm having kissing boners! that's awesome!! i even last longer, i dont know if its related to nofap or not .. but my boner last forever, even after orgasm i can just swap the condom and go on again.
  • met a girl , kissed her, had sex with her and planning a stable relationship with her .. and that's because of my new found confidence! i'm 100% sure of this, after 20 days of nofap i needed to get laid and i did everything i needed to do to get laid. simple.
  • i feel like i can confront people more easily but i get mad more easily too .. i've always been the "calm" one .. but now i get mad.. this i don't like .. i think i need time to adapt to this new thing called testosterone.

and that's about it ...

tips on avoiding faptime :

  • stay away from porn, everybody says that and it's true .. do not watch porn. for me i can still watch naked pictures .. like once every 3-4 days .. it's difficult and i still really want to fap when i see a naked or semi-naked lady on the internet!
  • do thing , sports, go for a run, use that energy ..
  • do not get bored (avoid the random navigation on imgur)
  • want to fap? came here and read some shit about fellow nofapstronauts. it's helpful.

44 days: Confidence restored.

I did something recently I've never done before: speed dating. I've heard the horror stories but thought I would give it a try. I gotta tell you, I think I did pretty well. Looking back, the thing that made the biggest impression on me is how much more confident I am than before. When I used to meet women, socially or at bars/clubs/etc, I was the shrinking violet--shy, eyes cast down, hands folded, poor posture. I look back now and I realize, the reason why women were not so interested in me before is because I was sending out all the wrong signals. Now, partly because of nofap, and partly because of learning about seduction game (basically how to act confident while on your way to becoming actually confident, i.e. fake it til you make it), I realize that your only limit is yourself.

Compared to the other guys there, I was slightly overweight (just a beer belly), obvious I didn't go to gym often (no bulging biceps). But I made up for it by being well dressed and wielding a very sharp personality, making witty jokes with each girl I met.

Nofap is not magic, but I feel like things really changed for me over the past 44 days. Like anything in life, you get out of it what you put into it. If you just nofap, and nothing else, don't expect supermodels to immediately reward your choice. But if you work hard at improving yourself, continuously, every day, you'll begin to uncover the talents you had all long. As I found out at the speed dating event, and when I go to bars/restaurants/etc nowadays, I am starting to notice among men the same poor posture and shy personality I used to have. I wish I could take them aside and share some wisdom on nofap, etc. I think spreading the word about nofap, in a discrete way, will really improve the lives of a lot of men.

Hey guys, I made an account just to post here because this community has changed my life.

I'm on day 14, first try, and the first thing I did was hook up with a girl I knew, and I hadn't gotten laid in a LONG time.

The history: when I first started nofap, after watching those videos, I realized how much of an addict I was. It ruined some very good relationships in my life and it was an escape from reality. I literally wept the day after I started because I realized what I had done. I wasn't attracted to my girlfriends after very little time, making them feel unhappy understandably, and then us breaking up. The story is the same between me and a lot of the guys on here, which makes me really happy that I'm not alone on this, seriously. Since you've all heard the bad things already from all stories here, I'm no different, so I'll skip to the good stuff:

  1. I have tons of energy now and started kickboxing again which feels amazing. I never had the energy for it, and I didn't even have the energy to ask "why don't I have energy?". Now I know why.
  2. I have lots more time to work on side-projects or my resume after work since I'm not browsing /b/, which I used to do for HOURS at a time, and I had never considered it a bad thing until now.
  3. This is making me realize that ALL aimless internet browsing is highly unproductive and makes me lazy, so I spend less time browsing at work or at home, and more time making stuff or doing stuff. Nofap is a chain-effect that starts by taking your hand off your dick, stopping looking at porn, and ends up with you realizing how much fucking time and energy you newly have.

The only thing that sucks is that I am super horny and aggressive now, so I have to keep cool, and avert my eyes whenever I see a possible trigger. The hot secretary at work certainly isn't helping me do that. =/

60 Day Update

60 days ago I started this journey. 32 days ago I made my first journal entry. You can read it here http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/utx4s/4_weeks_in_aka_28_days_later/

60 days in:

What have I accomplished and experienced?

  • I moved out of my parents place. Found an incredible location right in the city and got a stupid deal on it.
  • Joined a gym. Met with a trainer and been working out every other day.
  • Went on a trip by myself (first time driving alone too) to a festival where I met possibly the girl of my dreams. We spent 4 days together, talking for hours and doing all sorts of activities. She's drop dead gorgeous and her personality mirrors her looks. It's heart melting. She lives 4 hours away and she's visiting in August.
  • Women LOVE me. Specially over the last 2 weeks. The attention I get is, I guess, flattering haha. It feels good :)
  • Adding to that my confidence and self worth at at an all time high. I love life. I cannot remember the last time I was actually bummed out or depressed. Seriously. I'm fully in charge of my life. Tomorrow I'm quitting my job to focus on a project.
  • I've learned soooo much about who I am and what I actually want in life. I've found new hobbies (working out, gem cutting and making jewelry amongst other things).
  • I've found my Spirit so to say.

Sounds great, right? Well it is. I've had to make a lot of bold decisions (no fap being one of them), and I'm continuing to make more. I think that's what being a man is all about. So it's not like a dreamy bike ride of some sort. It's like the fucking tour de France. But it feels fucking great. Can you imagine winning that shit? Do you understand the honor in simply being IN it? Mind blowing.

I can't wait till I'm at 90 days. Actually I don't care. I know it's going to happen.

Porn is evil. I don't know what else to say.

COMMENTS: This is the most important post on any page. For some reason this man took nofap literally, and continued to watch porn.

90 days without fapping and I can't list a single benefit, thoughts below:

The first 20 days were tough, after that initial period I fully realised I'd set this goal and was going to complete it, therefore I wasn't tempted again.

Porn was a different matter. When I started this I just took it at face value as "no fapping for 90 days", so I never internalised the goal of not looking at porn, which lead to looking at porn fairly regularly. I didn't touch myself, I just watched it.

On the occasions I didn't look at porn for a week or more, I found myself more stimulated by non-pornographic situations/images. I also had really strong urges to look at porn. I think cutting it out is far more important than not masturbating.

On the community itself I found it demotivating. It feels cultish and a lot of the posts are cringe worthy, so I just avoided it for the duration.

I think I'll start a new challenge of masturbating but not looking at porn. I realised for the last 6 years I don't think I've masturbated without porn, at all.

So yeah, no benefits but I think I missed a key component of it. I am proud I did it though. People have praised my self discipline and I always thought to myself "well, yeah, but I masturbate constantly", so to know that I've conquered a vice is a good feeling. Now to conquer the porn vice!

COMMENTS: Another person from the above thread who experince no benefits. Is it because he continued some masturbation, or that he hadn't experienced addiction-related brain changes...or neither?

for me it's the other way around. I am at day 93 without porn and I can't list a single benefit.

I quit porn because I read the articles on YBOP, but I still masturbated.

week 2 I started counting the days without fapping. I usually fapped once every 7 days and maybe the day after that. my record is 24 days.

NoPorn is easy for me, nofap is not. I get porn related urges and fantasies even though I haven't been looking at porn for 3 months now.

So I accomplished your new challange of fapping but not looking at porn and I can't see any benefits. I will try to beat a new score (40+ days) and see if I can see benefits.

Nofap "success" story No. 1337

Dear nofappers, I'm a 32 yo male who has been following the nofap challenge since just before the start of the year. I did my 90+ days, saw some benefits, relapsed for a couple of months, and eventually got back on the wagon to my current streak.

I've basically never had success with women, although on the nofap challenge i have been experiencing increasing amounts of female attention that seems directly correllated to the length of nofap streak. Recently I have started to have random women smile at me occasionally, but I am not a big socialite and so opportunities to actually respond to the attention has been very limited... until last night when I was out on the town with a group of new friends.

I hope any experienced nofapper will have an idea of where my story is going. Last night I met a girl who literally couldnt take her eyes off me. All I had to do was basically maintain contact and smile back and she was all mine. Of course we had some light conversation, and we did get on pretty well, but it did all seem like a bit of a formality and like she had chosen me or matched herself with me in order to spend a night with a man.

In the end we didn't have sex, we did all the stuff that porn leaves out. The hugging the kissing the rubbing and the caressing. And I don't have any urge to look at porn and knock one out to compensate. I'm not sure if were going to see each other again and I'm probably going to spend the next few days fighting the urge to worry about whether I should phone or text her. But that's a good problem to have.

My erections seemed a little weak to be honest, and unfortunately she didnt seem too interested in my member, and was more focussed on the gentler aspects. Also I'm on a steep learning curve now with women and starting to figure out exactly how and when to take the lead a little more.

Um not sure what else to put but thought id offer some content back to the community that I follow most days and have a lot of respect for... Ive often felt like a foreveralone, and hope this little tale may give courage and hope to others... even if it didn't include a pornstar sex marathon.

Tldr: been nofapping on and off all year, increased female attention lead to getting pulled, spending intimate night that couldn't be more unpornlike

LINK - NoFapNZT

I'm 27 years old and I've noticed that my hairline on my forehead has receded a little bit over the past few years and the overall having a full head of hair doesn't seem as thick as it used to (at least that's what several people have told me). It has been growing back since I started nofap about 4 months ago and my longest streak was 31 days. Hair on my chest that has never grown before is starting to grow in. Pretty amazing, but I guess since I've been fapping regularly since 1st grade, I never gave my body the testosterone it needed to develop more hair on my chest. This along with ability to make extended eye contact, rock solid erections, and a new found energy have been the most valuable side effects of nofap for me.

I'm a gay guy who's had ED issues for the last five years. The first time it happened was with an ex boyfriend. I lost it halfway through sex because I was quite frankly bored. And over the years it's just got worse. The most embarrassing times are always during foreplay where I always stay soft; I tried to imagine the porn I watched to get my junk working, but nothing would ever happen, and my hook ups would always think something was up. Over the years I just sat in my room and let my PMO habits take over. I was depressed, hated socialising, and started to imagine my entire life sat in my room, tossing off to porn - I even started to fantasise about this scenario.

But over the last few weeks, I started to think something must be wrong with me. So I typed into Google, 'erectile dysfunction and porn addiction.' I couldn't believe this disorder existed, and it was amazing just how many people on the internet who were in a similar situation. Any way, I've given up porn for the last six days now, and I've already noticed some effects. I was sitting on the train, and I heard two guys talking intimately with each other - nothing sexy - and I got a huge erection. I couldn't believe it. It was embarrassing trying to cover it up when I was walking off the train. I felt like a teenager.

I'm thinking this might be one of the best decisions of my life.

 

LINK - 57 Days, benefits

So now after I've wrote this post I should put a disclaimer in front of it. No fapping wasn't the sole reason of benefits. I've been meditating daily for quite some time now, maybe 5-6 weeks. I also started doing yoga several times per week. Further I eat consciously now. I get plenty of vitamins, minerals, essential fatty acids and fibers from my food. I do not overeat, I stopped eating junk food, like sandwiches, cookies, dumpling, I am not eating candy and cholates anymore. Although I consume shitloads of dried fruits, which are really similar to candies. From those you can easily get lethargic if you overeat, but I've managed to get a pretty good feel of when and how much I can eat them to stay clearheaded and energetic.

Few weeks ago I've started studying objectivism philosophy and now I'm a in process of forming my code of principles, which will help me guide my choices for the optimum living. I'm very excited about it and expect good things out of my life.

Also something else worth mentioning. Compared to a lot of people in my age group (i'm 23) I'm in a shitty situation. I dropped out of college, I have no money for rent and have no job at the moment. No qualifications or clear talents. Despite that I feel ok about my life. Absistence from porn and masturbation helped me immensely to feel that way.

BENEFITS

  • I don't get ashamed or flustered if I fuck up publicly. Tested multiple times in front of groups as big as 45 people. Some examples of fucking up: messing up a toast at wedding, getting food all over my clothes, being unable to perform something which requires below basic level of coordination. Haha It was actually all funny to me, even now I remember those things as positives.
  • I'm so much more comfortable in social 'mini confrontations' if someone says a joke at my expensive, I have a much higher chance of responding in a cool manner and If nothing comes to mind I'm not affected emotionally or affected much less. I now tend to hold less grudges and let things go sooo much easier.
  • Initiating pleasant conversations with strangers is easier and more natural. As for approaching girls specifically, instead of having a blank in my head, I get creative ideas about what to say, I don't capitalize on it often though. Also I feel that I'm more comfortable with being rejected and being direct.I don't approach left and right, but I have more positive outlook and higher self esteem, because my standard of what's possible expanded.
  • I am able to notice and analyze my emotions. It benefits me at least in 2 ways: I do not immediately respond with an nonconstructive response, when having an emotional, tough conversation with people who are important to me. Second benefit is that, even if I still experience, depression, sadness, shame, guilt, it has a more observational element to them and instead of tearing me from the inside, it nudges me in a semi friendly manner. That manner is "here is WHAT you are feeling, here's WHY you are feeling it and here's what you have to DO to make it go away". It's a call to action.
  • Loneliness, nostalgia, sadness decreased dramatically in my life, despite changes happening for the dominant part inside me, not in external world
  • I started to hate indecisiveness, pussy footing and pussy manners. Yes fuck you "Am I the only one which thinks that..." GUY and "LIKE LIKE LIKE" GUY and "Is it me or...." GUY. Yes it has a positive too. My procrastination rate decreased, I make decisions faster and I stick with them at higher success rate than before. When it comes to habit-decisions I get daily feelgoods, just from knowing that I stuck with my decision. I love myself for that and I respect myself.
  • When I look in the mirror I often think that I'm good looking. Compared to before, I would usually think that I look like a loser. Now I actually feel somewhat good looking despite looking the same way lol. Except maybe losing some fat from exercises, but you have lift my shirt to see that, face is the same, I think.
  • Oh yeah and my voice is deeper. I started feeling it about 8-9 days ago. It hasn't gone away yet

28 days in - definitely worth it.

I loved porn as long as I remember. Wanking was one of my favorite things to do, don't mention watching all the beatiful bodies on the internet. I used to do it at least once a day, usually twice. When I came back from some trips, I did it even more often because of increased feelings after that "long" (weak/two) break. I sometimes had a habbit to baptize things with ceremonial fapping session xD Well not exactly jizzing on things and blessing them, but sometimes when I was happy I had to wank to get calm. I didn't ever have a real girlfriend, only a couple of close-ups, nothing serious. Neither to say, I'm still a virgin at a 20th level. And it didn't bother me - I sad to myself that I value my independence, and free time. Yeah, free time to fap and play video games.

The main 2 reasons I started nofap:

  • ED, which happened during a blowjob about 2 years ago, and lately I had trouble keeping my dick hard without rubbing it constantly
  • drop in happiness - everything started to seem boring. Everything I could do was sit in front of monitor, and: fap, browse internet, eat something, play video games, reloop
  • lack of energy - I was tired of everything. While on parties, I dreamed about getting home. At concerts, my legs felt like two drills drilling my ass and spine. Eventually, I didn't want to go outside, meet people, do sports of any kind, even go to the store. Cave was a perfect place.

And now, after 28 days, I must say... I definitely feel like a different man! I started:

  • riding a bike EVERY DAY. When it's raining I feel like I'm going crazy sitting at home. I also do push-ups and sit-ups, every day. I'm thinking about starting to jog.
  • going onto parties, meeting people again, calling old friends, talking to old friends on facebook, generally started refreshing my acquaintances
  • eating healthy. I tried a few diets a while back, even managed to drop around 15kg, but got fat again after half a year. Now, it comes naturally. I just don't need to eat junk food and bad carbohydrates. I don't drink sodas, don't eat sweets. I just don't feel the urge. While I was fapping, I could eat a truck of food daily and still feel hungry
  • feeling A LOT more self-confident. I don't hesitate to do things, I don't change my mind and am a lot more assertive. I know what I want and tend to get it. Simply as that.
  • enjoying everything 10 times more. Started doing sports, played tennis recently till my thights and spine hurt like bitch, and loved this feeling. A lot better than a rasped johnson. Finally started programming for pleasure, not just projects at university. Learning UDK, painting again. And I suddenly have a lot of time to do it!

I could go on an on about the plus sides, but these are the main. Why I didn't mention girls? Because it didn't change much. Don't expect miracles. But it doesn't meen it didn't change at all! I can hold longer eye contact, ecalate touch, make fun of them, everything which earlier seemed... weird and scary for me. I feel like conversation with girls I knew earlier is going a lot smoother, I'm just not nervous and... don't give a fuck! As simple as that. Now it's as hard as speaking to a guy. I noticed that also girls give me a little more attention, like they are actually interested in what I think, do, etc. Earlier i felt invisible sometimes. Have to work a little more on my self-esteem though, but I can feel that everyday it's getting better.

I look at the past and see a sorry ass child who spent about 8 years being sad and miserable. I don't say I was a total failure, but man, there are like milion things I could have done better if I only had more willpower and energy, constantly wasted on you know what. When I look at future, I see a lot of oportunities, and every single day seems more beautiful! I really feel like a child again.

At the end, a little shortage of my quest so far (not very accurate, just circa):

  • day 1 - 7 - was bad, but I managed to overcome it. At the end of a week, I started to eat healthier and go out because I knew I would relapse otherwise.
  • day 8 - 20 - flatline in the beginning, big arousal near the day 20
  • day 21 - the worst day in the challenge. I edged a little, I felt like my dick was a huge rod made of pure steel. Wanted to fap so badly I almost passed away. Managed to overcome it, got out eventually and rhode the bike like crazy

-day 22-28 - flatline again, but better than the first one. I feel like things are falling into place, and the brain finishes rebooting. Pretty good feeling.

As a conclusion, I want to say I noticed one thing - nofap isn't a miracle itself. It's a wonderful catalizer which helps in the self-improvement. Or actually, as I feel myself, releases the barrier which was daily porn ad fapping, depleting the normal youth energy. Right now I go to the beach camping, I'm not taking my laptop, just books, clothes, some weed and crayons + paper. And I know everyday will be great, maybe I'll meet someone... And if I'm not, it's okay. Eitherway, I will be... happy

My No-Fap Journey: 90 days and Counting!

I've been lurking during my 90 day journey, but I thought I would write up a post sharing my experiences with all of you after reaching 90 days of Nofap. I have definitely seen some positive benefits, so I would like to start by expressing my gratitude to all of you and to this subreddit for existing!

Why did I start nofap? The FAQ calls it "numbed pleasure response", basically I was finding it almost impossible to climax with a real partner. I'm 28 now, and for most of my adult life I was an awkward nerd and so I relied on the internet for my sexual fix, with my tastes becoming more and more extreme as I became habituated. I had no idea what kind of damage I was doing to myself until I started going out with real girls and realizing that my "little friend" was a little fuzzy.

I stumbled upon Nofap out of the blue 4 or 5 months ago, and started my first badge counter that night. I had a couple resets, around the 15 and 30 day marks, but this is my 3rd attempt and I made it to 90 days! The first 15 days were definitely the hardest, and there were lots of ups and downs; I think I experienced a flatline about a month in, but it seems to be recovering, which has made the last week fairly difficult (but not unmanageable).

As far as my health goes, I've started going to the gym at least a couple times a week. Also, real women are much more attractive than before, and I successfully approached and picked up a couple random girls at the bar, for the first time in my life. Usually I would never even have approached strange girls in public, but even though I was a little nervous, I just manned up and did it. As vague as it sounds, I just feel like more of a "man"; less uncertain, more calm and more decisive. I wouldn't say its been a magic pill that changed everything in my life, as I probably still spend too much time on the computer and too much time thinking about girls in general. However overall I feel like a healthier and more effective version of myself, which is great to see. One positive effect I've noticed is that thinking of the extreme porn that used to excite me is a turn-off now, which is quite a relief (I'm not a weirdo!)

As for how to deal with urges, after I reset the 2nd time I told myself that I just wasn't going to fap again, so I didn't have to deal with fighting off urges because I knew I would NOT give in. Sometimes I found myself tempting myself with NSFW pics, but I knew I would not let myself down. Like others have suggested, sometimes I would use pushups or going for a run as a great way to take sex off my mind.

As for where to go from here, the YBOP guys suggested in an AMA that 90 days was not a magic number; rather 3-5 months of Nofap was a more likely number for seeing lasting change (for those of us who started fapping online in our teens). Thus, I plan to keep Nofap going until the 150 day mark, because I refuse to let sexual dysfunction get in the way of my relationships with real women ever again. I am going to beat this addiction, and that is all there is to it. We deserve so much more from life than a sad lonely habit in front of a computer screen. Let's go out there and get it!

Can't believe I made it. But I did. Ten years of addiction - done! I'm a different man now - - and here's what I've found.

1. Masturbation seems pathetic and disgusting to me now. It's very difficult to see how I loved sitting in a chair and wasting my time touching myself to pictures and videos of people I would never meet.

2. It also seems second or third-rate. Fapping to something is like trying to sate your hunger by looking at a picture of a steak dinner. It's a poor replacement for the real thing.

3. Sexual desire is a form of energy. When you turn off the faucet, the water has to go somewhere else. Stopping your PMO addiction is a fantastic way to lend inertia to other areas of your life. You'll want to do other things with your energy - get a different job, go to school, meet new people, pick up a hobby, etc.

4. It shows you how dehumanizing objectification is. Every single one of those people you fapped to has, or had, a real life. Dreams. Hopes. Desires. They called someone "daddy" or "mommy". They watched cartoons and went to grade school. They wanted to be something when they grew up. Once you realize this, it's very difficult to just see them as a sex object again.

5. Stopping my PMO addiction has made me desire real love. I was a sex addict. Most of the time, I didn't even want to. It was simply a habit. Now that I've quit, I want to find true intimacy with someone. I want to spill my soul into them and become one person with them...trust them with every fiber of my being, with every piece of my heart. Now sex seems like such a small, silly thing, compared to love.

6. Seduction and /seddit people creep me out. I used to admire and emulate friends who could pick up strangers constantly. That's a fine lifestyle for some folks, but not for me. It makes me sick to try and pretend I'm interested in a person just to get into their pants. I'll never do that again.

7. You have tons of time! Suddenly, hours of your life are yours once more. Seize them! Make your time work for you. Make money. Find a hobby. Join a group of people with similar interests. The days are longer when PMO isn't hogging your free time.

The last time I wasn't a PMO addict, I was in middle school. The years since seem like a nightmare. I will never go back. If this letch can make it, so can you! Keep fighting. Keep striving to better yourself. The trick is - the longer you stay fap-free...the less you wish to go back. Eventually you'll never care to again.

I wish that for each and every one of you.

Thanks to all of you for being there, as a community. Having this place to come, to when I was weak or lost, was invaluable. Bless you all for helping total strangers discussing embarrassing things. Ha ha.

Way to go, /nofap. You are helping people overcome addictions - one piece of flair at a time. I've not been so proud of a gold star since I was in second grade. :)

My Story ("Superpowers", Reset, Thoughts)

Well, I'm some days late but I planned to do this since my reset.

First of all, the story of my relapse: Well, its not really a story, but I will tell it anyways. I started NoFap challenge for fun, as I thought. So i made about 2 weeks, when i thought screw it and edged, it cant be that bad. But it was and so i relapsed. But the "good" thing is: After my relapse, i realised that i indeed am addicted to fapping. (Not too much to porn. Although i fapped, i didn't look at porn.)

Second, my "Superpowers": Again, i didn't realise before my relapse which benefits i had from not fapping. But after it, I can give yu some examples: Before NoFap, I had some terrible headaches for about 5 minutes, daily. It vanished during nofap but came back after the reset. Same with my hands. They would suddenly start to shake and the more i looked at them, the more they started shaking, up to a point where I couldn't control them anymore.

So I thought i would tell you this so that you see that you can't always see your benefits. But I can tell you: I bet you have some. Although you didn't notice. Just think about it.

tl;dr: Didn't realize how good NoFap was for me until my reset

LINK - Cutting out the porn will do wonders with helping you manage your thoughts. The less you are thinking abt sex, the less tempted you will be to MB and will be less distracted in general. Like they say, garbage in, garbage out.

Check out www.yourbrainonporn.com

Fascinating site. Lots of stories from guys who have gone w/out porn and masturbation for 60-90 days and how that helped them out. It has been just over a month since I have watched any porn clips (I have MB'd 3 times during that time; Before I was MBing abt 4 or 5 Xs a week), and I feel so mich better about muself, my body (including my man bits), am more confident, feel more positively masculine, have more drive towards woman, think dirty thoughts less, i rarely feel depressed, am more affectionate even with my guy friends, I am driven to work out more consistently, etc. All great things.

I don't know how your porn usage has affected you, but it's worth a shot to stay away from it for a while ( and give up MB during that tome as much as you can), and see what happens. WDs are just a side benefit!

For other horny teenagers, you can do it too man. I did it. Adults, everyone else, you guys can do it.

I started this in April. Half because there was an addiction element, I always checked for new porn and it felt like a waste of time. Another half because I just wanted to say I did it when I'm the horniest I've been in my life. Because I could, and I will continue for another 10 days until 100 days to add another digit. Once you hit 90, you will want to hit 100. You can walk on the sidewalk knowing you have more willpower than everyone else.

/r/nofap has been super helpful, I lurk here all the time but never post. I figured now might be the time to do it and give you guys my thoughts, they may even be controversial.

  • Mind over hormones: For me, my mind is rock solid. I can stop most things that I don't want to do instantly. The problem is I will think about it constantly. In fact, I still looked at porn, I thought about fapping. It took a few weeks before I stopped looking at porn. But I never edged though because that would mean taking off my pants and touching myself and at that point your hormones > mind. Basically while you're doing this, the visual aspect, the boner aspect will remain. I can stop myself in most things but unfortunately I cannot stop an erection. It'll take some time before you realize "I'm not getting anything from this" and boom, you just stop. Then this happens...
  • You stop giving a fuck. Women are just dudes with vaginas. There's only a little more than that. Stop thinking about you can do for them. Ask yourself what they can do for you. "Can I buy you a drink?" Turn around to "you should buy me a drink." That sort of attitude. But in general, just be normal. They're normal. Women have this attitude down because society wants you to be the chaser and they're the chased. Fuck this immediately. You're awesome. Start loving yourself man. Don't love yourself? Figure out why not then work at it A LITTLE BIT each day, just a little bit. One day get a hairstyle that works for your face, another day buy a new gingham pattern shirt that looks awesome on you, another day try learning how to do a backflip, another day to learn to cook something. Awesomeness as a whole doesn't happen instantly, but you CAN start being awesome immediately. In fact, there are a bunch of subreddits for these so it's not like you have to get off your ass and into the sun or something. You can plan and learn first, then do that. But the doing part is important.
  • Masturbation is fine in complete moderation. Okay, this last one I may get flamed over. But I feel like it's possible. Do the 90 day challenge first and if at the end you're sweating over wanting to fap again and you can't wait for this shit to be over, you're not done man. If you haven't even thought about fapping in a week or if the act of fapping kind of bores you (this happened to me, I started looking down at fappers but I think there's a natural balance that some people have found) you might be able to do it, but definitely not because you're addicted and definitely not because it's a chore - like a heroin addict needing another fix. Strict rules for this (for me) - 1) Never fap to porn. Porn is done for you, it's just not good, you've seen the videos. 2) If you fap once, don't go on a binge all day. Just do it once because you enjoy it every once in a while, like every 2 weeks. Again, this takes willpower and the ability to know your limits. As long as it's not to fix an addiction, I believe it CAN be done. Moderation is the key. If it's really bad for you, just keep going man. This also depends on what your goal is.

Phew, I think that's all I want to say. I just want to thank /r/nofap. I'm going to continue the nofap, even though I think you can yesfap in moderation. It just seems kind of boring to me at this point, and I know I can't look at porn, so the whole thing seems eh. Anyways, I hope I don't fall into the dark world of sweating over a computer with a dick in a hand and looking at bunch of tabs and being angry that a pair of balls is being zoomed on.

Good night, and good luck.

Nosebleeding, Shemales and Beards

Hey guys,

I will keep it short and simple (KISS). This is probably the most irretating title you've read but all these things are connected with my addition to porn and how I want to stop this addiction.

The first one is nosebleeding. I used to get all the time, every day and every time I blow my nose. After doing NoFap for some time I came to the result that my random nosebleeding had stopped. Always when I failed, I had nosebleeding. Are there any other fapstronauts who have frequently random nosebleeding?

My second point are shemales. I don't want to talk about that very much but I failed because of it. I'm not gay but my brain is playing tricks on me. I guess a human brain can't figure out that shemales are guys with boobs.

My last point are beards. Beards are fucking awesome. After a week of NoFap I start to grow a beard and got the idea that I won't shave it until I fail. After 1-2 weeks my beard if you want to call it like that looked awesome. Sadly I failed after nearly 3 weeks and as punishment I had to shave it. Right now I can't wait until I got my beard back.

NoFappers! (male NoFappers)

Beards are awesome. The length of my beard will represent my days without PMO? Anybody with me? Can't wait till I got my beard back.

Thanks for reading.

TL;DR Nosebleeding when fapping, shemales are guys with tits and beards are awesome. Let's grow beards!

It's a bitch, man. It's a fucking bitch to recover.

I'm on day 42. Longest streak without O, and second longest without MO or PMO. I'll make the PMO record in a few days.

Here's what's up:

I can't feel good about anything.

I'm worse socially than I ever was. I don't want to socialize. When I have to socialize, I usually feel like a complete dumbass. It's embarrassing. It's god damn horrible to try to lead a normal life when you're going through withdrawal. I wonder what people must think of my shitty, sullen, brooding behaviour these last few weeks. I'm not acting natural and I'm just not fun right now.

My mood changes at the drop of a hat--usually to a feeling of rage, an emotion which has never been a problem for me before.

I have trouble falling asleep.

I wake up too god damned early, restless and unable to stop kicking my legs and thrashing around.

I feel like my head is in a dark, dark cloud.

I can't concentrate. I get confused. I can't follow a book very easily. When I get home and lie down, exhausted, I feel like a giant hand is pressing down on me, physically keeping me from getting up.

Oh, and my penis was declared dead several weeks back. That's the least of my problems...

Believe me, I've felt the highs too. The first few weeks of my first attempt six months ago, I was in a constant state of euphoria. Happier than I'd ever felt, more social, more confident, etc. And during those weeks, I charmed the pants off a few girls and met my current girlfriend. But now... Well, I feel like crap.

I hope other people who are having shitty, protracted withdrawal symptoms get some comfort from reading this. It seems to me there aren't enough posts about the awful long-term withdrawal symptoms some of us experience.

just two days from reaching 200 days, a reset!

Hi, since last December I found /r/nofap very motivating. You guys convinced me to start nofap (no porn+no fapping) on January 2nd of this year and I hadn't masturbated until today. (http://i.imgur.com/4DOP8.png)

Since I was a busy high schooler (and lazy lurker) I hadn't found the time to post a long and detailed analysis of my ongoing experimentation with porn/masturbation abstinence but now I think I better post something now before I forget it.

When I started reading /r/nofap in late December I was already kind of fed up with wasting my time watching porn. Turns out this subreddit's community, the tempting badge counter, (and a major crush on a girl I wanted to impress) were just enough to convince me to change my habits and trash my intermittent PMOs.

I guess because of these reasons doing nofap wasn't a huge challenge for me, unlike my friend who could only do it for a week (I referred /r/nofap to friends, teehee).

The first 2 weeks of nofap were around the greatest-feeling weeks of my whole life! I actually had motivation to do what I always wanted to do: write songs, play songs, write poems, publish poems. I felt like a freakin Pulitzer prize winning author for half a month. I couldn't sleep because I had 100000x more energy than usual. Testosterone overdose, anyone? I was EXTREMELY motivated by my crush.

After 2 weeks life pretty much went down to normal with some exceptions: * Being a successful fapstronaut gave me a mental edge over others. When facing a more alpha male I can say in my mind "well hotshot I bet you sit at home in the dark and masturbate in a corner every other day. Guess who doesn't do that? ME" * I obviously had more time on my hands which I spent some on video games, some on writing/playing music, whereas before I just played video games. * nofap acted as a confidence-booster as I worked to improve my inner game and self-image with some tips from /r/seduction.

A month into nofap I started getting constant boners and wet dreams every week. For some weeks my libido would be totally dead and at other weeks I would be horny as fuckkk.

So why did I break nofap today? I think it was for these reasons: * I was spirited and accomplished many things on nofap in high school, but during this long summer I became dejected, lonely, and increasingly bored. * I wanted to see what would happen. * I was sick of stupid reoccurring wet dreams and unwanted surprise boners. * I don't plan on having sex or having a gf anytime soon anyways (my own choice, don't pin this on religion, reddit folks). * No more crush to really push me. * Stumbled upon a porn subreddit posted on reddit and it escalated from there. Darn you reddit!

I watched a ludicrous amount of much porn today. I forgot how cripplingly addictive that shit can be. I hope to stop PMO in time for college even though I really don't want to now. This isn't the end though, I learned a TON about being a cooler, more attractive person in half a year. I accomplished so much with confidence and motivation that seem to have popped out of nowhere when I started on my nofap journey.

Hope this really quick rant has some sort of insight in it. Remember nofappers, keep yourself occupied and away from depression. And get out more! You can do this! You gotta do this! Letsgo!

44days, this is the best thing I ever did

I've gone from a feeling of :| complete lifeless existence to enjoying things. I make eye contact, I smile, I enjoy doing things. I started trying to date. I went from overthinking the shit out of everything with women and afraid to even message them on online sites to messaging them with ease. I used to not even like myself and not knowing what to say, to realizing I'm pretty great and fuck it i'll say what I feel like and if they like me cool, if not fuck it who cares. I went on a double/blind date with some chics and while I blew it with her I had a great time and whatever, I'm not going to get it right everytime.

I would have completely pussied out and made up excuses 2 months ago, now i barely gave it a thought. I went from being afraid to have a life to wanting to have a life and not giving a shit if I make an ass of myself. I even met an awesome chic who I seem to have real feelings for and not just want to fuck (well i really want to do that too, but not just that). And even if I get fucked over by her I went from :| to :) so even if I wind up like :( its still better than :| Besides I wont stay :( for long, I know not to dwell on stupid shit anymore.

I mean there's the other shit like I'll get hard constantly and I'm horny as all fuck, but its more than that. I feel better about myself, my creativity and wit is returning, I'm not afraid to try shit anymore. I never thought I was depressed before, I still don't know if I was.. I was just there. Now I'm more alive, and its awesome.

The Dark Knight (as I now call my penis) Rises: 90 days complete. AMA

I never really thought I'd make it here. Well, I thought I would, just that it wouldn't take me this long to do it.

I've been with /r/nofap since it's inception as simply a challenge to see if you could go a week without grabbing your junk. I didn't join simply for the challenge though. I'd struggled with ED for a long time; I saw how it affected multiple partners. I'd lived through watching them cry, thinking it was something wrong with them. I knew porn and jerking off was screwing with my brain and body, but I couldn't stop. Then the challenge came along.

I latched onto this place like a suckerfish. Before we had badges, we had a spreadsheet to track people's results. You bet your ass I jumped onto that and ran it. But I never competed. I kept screwing up, spiraling back out of control. "Well, maybe next week I'll start," I'd tell myself. And it was a lie. I'd make it up to 2 weeks every once in a while, but never longer.

So what changed? Well, I saw results the longer I abstained. I had a girlfriend at the start, and by God, if I had gone 2 weeks without PMO, she was the hottest thing around. Just looking at her sent the blood surging down below. But I still wasn't quite right. I'd still fall back into my PMO ways.

Spring exams rolled around, and I guess something finally clicked. I didn't have time to fap; my scholarship was on the line. So I made it through those 3 weeks. Might as well keep going, I told myself. Then the girlfriend and I broke up. Shit.

I could've spiraled back out of control, but for once, I knew it wouldn't change anything. I kept at it. I won't lie, I went through some very dark times, and I seriously considered fapping for that brief instance of happiness. But I didn't.

Fast forward to now. I still have days where I don't feel right, but I'm finally understanding what a functional sex drive is like. I can't even pretend to say that I understand people any better than before, but I do feel like I've gotten to know myself some. And that feels pretty good.

I still have my porn problems. I looked at some the other day, at day 83. That sucked. I had days where I...I dunno, missed it? So that's still a struggle. But damn, it feels good to have one part of my life under control.

I thought I may rub one out today, but what's the point? Thanks for the community, /r/NoFap. If you've got any questions, shoot them my way. I can't promise I'll answer right away, but I'll make sure to answer everyone.

LINK - I tried starting this about 4 months ago. I was a chronic fapper masturbating 2-3 times a day. When I first started I only went 3 days and relapsed. I then went a whole week and really started to feel the benefits, but when i started to get a lot of sexual energy I just relapsed, and so I was stuck in this cycle of relapsing after 1-2 weeks for like 4 months.

Then I finally told myself that I had to stop for good, but this time the motivation was different. It wasn't only for myself, it wasnt just so I could get my libido back and be able to talk to girls and be less socially awkward. It was for the people around me. It was for my friends and family. It was also for the women around me. I began to think about all the girls who had some interest in me, but I couldnt be sexual enough to keep their interest. Girls like sex too, but they don't like a guy who can't be sexual and who isn't confident in himself.

So this time I went almost 4 weeks and felt like I really reaped the benefits. On the forth week when my sex drive was really high I was really confident. Before I would break eye contact in fear of socially awkward moments or just coming off as creepy, but this time I wasnt socially awkward and didn't feel creepy when I held eye contact without saying anything. I was more patient and emotionally stable, I didnt get depressed or angry nearly as much as I used to and was actually in a good mood 90% of the time.The woman around me could feel the confidence, happy feelings and sexuality radiating from me. I communicated these feelings through eye contact and eye fucked every girl I talked to. I felt like a much more attractive person. I made clever remarks and I was much more genuinely interested in getting to know people. I was funny and at times didn't give a Fuck about what I said, because I was confident in all my actions and if I was wrong in doing something or saying something wierd I learned from it, where as before when I said something wierd in a social setting I would get depressed and then wouldnt talk as much as a result.

The key to not relapsing is translating the energy from not fapping to just being busy and getting out and doing stuff. I started dating for the first time in my life, worked out, hung out with friends, went to parties, went clubbing, went on trips. I jumped at every opportunity to socialize, and I loved it because I was a social person. I stopped being such a space cadet and stayed present to the moment. I paid attention to detail and what was going on around me. I was able to react better in certain situations, where as before I would freak out.

I embodied the idea of becoming a man. I became a man in my own way, I didnt try to be someone else, I just didn't give a Fuck about what people thought. I thought of the idea that a true man goes after what he wants and shouldn't be ashamed of doing so and so I became this person who was confident, energetic and wasn't ashamed of his desires. I did and said everything as if I was right until proven wrong.

Sorry this is kind of all over the place and really long, but I just had to get it out and I want to thank the nofap community for helping me realize that there were other people out there like me going through what I went through.

LINK

I started out planning to just do the 90 days and then, probably, go back to some PMO. Now that I'm just over two months in, my perspective has radically changed. I now see what life is like with and without masturbation. There is no way I am going back. At 30 years old, I am finally beginning to actually feel like an adult, like I have a little bit of control over myself. I'm nofap for life, there's no way around it.

 I now almost shudder when I think of all the years (essentially my entire teens and 20s) that I seriously held myself back by spending so much time with my semi-erect cock in my hand, alone, hunched over my laptop. I don't mean to blame PMO for everything negative in my life, certainly, but I feel confident that it was a major factor

Hi, ascherj is it? I hope I have the right person. I totally identify with what you've written. I'm 29, almost 30, and not much of an 'adult.' I regret the past, and the present is tough, not really sure about the direction I'm heading/being financially stable. So glad to hear that 'control over oneself' is possible for us, lol.

So how did it go for you, did you re-learn to love people? My mac and exquisite porn (haha) have been the only way I cope with negative feelings towards people, since I was 12. Just wondering, thank you for posting.

FAPed. Not resetting.

Hey all! well got to day 13 ( a new record for myself) then FAPed without porn. Not resetting my counter for a reasons.

  1. I didn't look at porn... i had no urge to look at porn. My sexual motivation seems to be off the wanting to get off to porn (which is precisely why i'm here.)
  2. The real life is turning me on more and more every day.
  3. I feel no guilt afterward. In fact it was amazing and deeply satisfying. I actually felt like a load (excuse the pun) was taken off my back. I really felt a true connection with my sexuality. not felt since childhood

I think the real important thing here is avoiding pornography. What people don't realize and get discouraged by is that this WONT GET YOU A GF and if you are aiming for that you will fail.

Most importantly do what works for you. Not what works for everyone else.

LINK - Much of what you're saying hits home. I've been battling it "unofficially" for awhile, realising that something was wrong, but not finding NoFap until I started my counter.

Since then I've started to notice small, but growing, changes, with occasional feelings of intimacy towards the girl I'm seeing. These are much more intense than the feelings before. I've also changed in my attitude towards restarting my university degree this Autumn, having felt distinctly apathetic towards it, I now can't wait to get started (most days).

Relapse after 20 days; my story and experiences

About me: 26 year old male with a 10 year history of daily PMO. My goals going into NoFap were to increase my willpower, energy, turn around my relative lack of success with women, and mostly reverse this trend of just not feeling as smart as I used to, that started around the time I got high speed internet at home.

So after months of attempting and relapsing I told myself I would start a 90-120 day (or until I felt "rebooted") challenge on July 1 to coincide with a new academic year. I also started meditating for 5-10 minutes every morning.

I was doing pretty well for 20 days, though there was a constant feeling of wanting something that I'd describe as a gnawing "hunger" of just wanting to get rid of this near-constant horniness. I never considered myself addicted to porn or fapping but have been doing it daily on average for 13 years.

Some changes I noticed over 20 days: my willpower, energy, and motivation mostly increased with a few minor ups and downs. My confidence, especially with approaching women and thinking of witty and clever things to say skyrocketed. My beliefs and attitudes about women also changed. I've read on this subreddit that other people stop seeing women as sex objects and start seeing them as humans. I'd say that's partly it but also there's just a visceral pleasure at the idea of interacting and flirting with women that's unlike anything I've experience. But the biggest and best possible change was that I just felt smarter and more optimistic about my future and my ability to achieve my goals in life.

The negatives during those 20 days was this constant "hunger" and constant thinking about sex or masturbating or tricking myself into having a wet dream so that I could get even temporary relief from that feeling. That shit sucked. It was ultimately why I relapsed.

Unfortunately during the last few days before I relapsed I happened to see a music video (Nicki Minaj's Beez in the Trap) that left little to the imagination and just pushed me over the edge in weighing out the pros and cons of not relieving this pressure. I had also finished a huge presentation I had been working really hard for and wanted to "celebrate". So the following morning I relapse with the whole shebang: my old favorite online streaming videos, PMO, the works.

After I relapsed I noticed the following changes on the following time scale. Immediately the day of I had less energy, had more trouble stringing together witty jokes that I had started to get used to, and was less confident in public. I relapsed twice more the following day in the morning and night. At around 48 hours after my initial relapse I felt this mental fog return that made it more difficult to think. Having lived with it for so many years I did not realize how severe it was until it started lifting during my reboot.

The worse part was that relapsing wasn't even that good. I kept thinking it would feel so good but those orgasms just feel so... hollow and unsatisfying.

I looked up deltaFosB to see if my symptoms correspond to the time scale of this protein to see if I could exclude all of these effects due to placebo but the time scale is consistent with a real effect.

If I could do it again, what I would do differently is having a hard date to tell myself would be the last day I'd have to deal with this gnawing feeling (even though I had anticipated a flatline) rather than the vague 90-120 days I told myself that would end whenever I felt "rebooted". Just having that hard date would help me get through the worst times.

This time around, I'll set a goal of 40 days (twice my previous) so I have something to look forward to, to get me through the worse times. Next reset: September 1st. Baby steps first, right?

TL;DR: Attempted 90-day challenge, noticed more confidence, energy, and willpower especially with women. Relapsed at 20 days. Mental fogginess and lethargy returned within 48 hours.

Caved after 57 days - Here's What I Learned

So after 57 days of NoFap I finally caved.

When I woke up this morning my morning wood was abnormally hard and my penis and balls were in a lot of pain.

I decided that NoFap wasn't worth damaging my reproductive organs so I gave myself a hand. (no porn!)

Thankfully, after I fapped the pain went away almost immediately.

I've decided not to continue with NoFap because in the days leading up to this event I'd started thinking it's just an annoyance more than anything else at this point. I feel I've learned/experienced/benefited in every way I can so there is no point in doing a reset.

I was never addicted to MO or PMO. I wasn't one of these guys with severe ED who fapped everyday. But I did want to quit using porn (been at it nearly 15 years) and I did notice my erections were much larger and harder after participating in nofap. There were also a few times (not everytime!) that I was with women where i went soft.

Here is what I learned and some of the benefits and changes I've experienced over my 57 days:

  • Larger, harder erections
  • I've stopped looking at porn.
  • NoFap gave me more energy
  • I started being more social to help me find real women so I could get some relief. (I didn't have sex yet but I did recently meet 2 new girls with potential)
  • I made 2 new friends (good ones) as a result of being more social as well.
  • I'm in better shape. I was exercising before but with the additional sexual tension/energy from nofap I took it to a new level.
  • I created a profile on plenty of fish for dating and have been talking to a girl who is cute, interesting, and I will be meeting soon.
  • I started writing a book
  • I read 6 books that I would not have read otherwise
  • I learned a lot about the effects of sex on our brains.
  • I started playing pool with a friend every saturday night to get out to the bars and meet women.
  • Applied for a new job

Most importantly, I've discovered a new way of life. The benefits from nofap are huge and I like the way it makes me feel day to day.

As far as I can tell I will continue to abstain from both porn and fapping for the rest of my life. But now I will fap occasionally for a needed release(I'm thinking once a month) until I get a source of real sex with a partner.

I wanted to thank you all for your support over the past 57 days. I know I'm on the right track now and if for some reason I ever return to my old ways I know where to find you all!

If anyone has any questions or wants some advise I'm happy to answer as best I can :)

Brain works much more and much better on nofap: share your experiences please! :)

Bam - I'm like a super Asian genius now. I exaggerate, but ya, I can think clearly; my ADD is muuuuch more in control; I'm so much more curious about the cause and effect of things - it's like dopamine is released when I use my brain to attain whatever I'm after. Yum!

My new love interest has started calling me "the voice"

She and I have been talking every day for almost a week like a couple of teenagers (we're both 34).

The only time we've seen each other was the brief occasion on which we met, so we've primarily gotten to know each other by phone.

She goes on and on about my voice. She tells me it comforts her and reassures her. We've only been talking for 6 days and have spent a total of almost 10 hours on the phone. She insists we talk at every opportunity we get.

r/nofap, I have never had a woman respond to me so powerfully and so quickly after meeting her. As a singer, I know nofap has improved the quality and resonance of my singing voice. Now, as somebody suddenly getting a lot of feedback from one member of the fairer sex, I can attest that it has also made me into somebody that at least one woman can't stop listening to. I can hardly believe it!

Fapstronauts, I am grateful for all you've taught me. Cheers!

I can't feel good about having sex without love anymore! What the hell, nofap? Anyone else change their attitudes towards IRL sex?

I used to not have a problem with it at all, when I was on PMO. I think PMO shuts down your emotional and moral centers of your brain as well, because I must have been so inundated with pornography images I treated real life like pornography.

Recently, I thought "hey I can still have sex on nofap! I'll just do that then, no harm done, right?" But I felt so guilty doing it with a girl I know I don't love... and I know in my heart that I can't do it anymore, maybe only once in a blue moon if I'm single. I've had a lot of girls too, so it's not like I need to sow the oats anymore, I think it's time I started treating sex like a thing that should be shared between two people who love each other.

What the hell nofap, I came here as a nihilist! What have I become? Anyone else experience this "emotional sensitivity" (for a lack of a better term) along with nofap?

so many... confusing.. emotions... arrrgh

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