Strange goals

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Hi guys,

I'd share with you my opinion about 1 thing : the strange goals some of us have defined.

Some of you guys gave themselves an unachievable goal. What's the problem with an unachievable goal ? The problem is that you have 100% of chance to fail and that you'll easily feel depressed because of a stupid goal.

I'll stop MO/PMO till I lose my virginity

Let me tell you something : if all you do in life is just to try to stop MO, you'll never catch a girl. Stopping masturbation will give you some sexual energy really useful to pick up girls, but if you do nothing with this energy and have no life, girls won't magically fall at your foot just because you don't masturbate.
"Who are you ? What do you do in life ?" "I don't masturbate !". This isn't enough.

On another hand : what if you achieve your goal tomorrow ? You are no longer virgin. You achieved your goal. Congratz. What do you do now ? Masturbate 20 times a week again ?

What if you'll lose your virginity in 2 or 3 years ? Will you just wait all these years, just being a man that fights again the need to masturbate and waits forever a girl to fall from the sky ? Won't you do anything else in your life ?

I'll never MO/PMO again

Seriously ? Guys. Porn is everywhere. And porn isn't that bad. Looking too much porn, masturbating too much, edging everyday... is bad. One porn once isn't that bad. Looking a porn with a girl while making love to her can be a really enjoyable experience.
Masturbation is healthy if you don't edge for hours, if you don't do it everyday twice a day, etc.

How realistic is it to say that you'll never watch porn again or masturbate again ? As realistic as sayin "i'll run 500 miles in 2 weeks" if you never ran before. And it is simply stupid.

I don't encourage anyone to masturbate ! Read below.

So what ?

You shouldn't focus on not watching porn ever again. If you're here, you surely need to stop for a while. That's true. That's why I'm here. But why would you stop forever ?
Why not just getting a life, learning to do it without being an addict, etc. ? If you get a busy and cool life, you won't have to fight against your desire to masturbate, because you won't have time to think about it!

Imagine a fat guy. He sure needs to stop eating hamburgers for a while. But should he stop for his whole life ? Isn't that weird and stupid to say you'll never eat a hamburger again ? Even if now you're perfeclty healthy, even if you learn how to cook healthy and delicious hamburgers ?

Clever, realistic and achievable goal

You can't set up a goal without following a few rules. I personally really like the "SMART" system, which means a goal has to be :
Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Timed.
More infos : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SMART_criteria

Every book of self improvment, management, sport, project management, NLP... will tell you to follow these rules when you set up a goal.

If you don't set up a time-limit, you can't achieve your goal. Imagine, my goal is "I will stop watching porn". I stop watching porn for 3 years. Then I watch one. Does that mean I failed at reaching my goal? Yes, because my goal is stupid, so I willl feel bad because I failed instead of being happy of what I really achieved, aka not watching porn for 3 years.

So, instead of saying you won't masturbate ever again and feel sad in 3 years because you masturbated once, set up a time-limited goal and be proud that you didn't masturbate for 3 years and are cured. Instead of focusing on not fapping today to keep the streak going, focus on living your life as you want it to be, not just porn free, but really awesome in every domains.

What comes after ?

Once you are not addicted anymore, just live a normal life. Don't stay "the guy trying to stop" forever, and masturbate if you want, as long as it doesnt affect your life in a negative way.

I wanted to also talk about how to rewire but hey, I'm tired. :D Does that interest someone?