Hi everyone, I’m taking a break from my studies to write this post. I’ve been on NoFap since January 2016, so I figure it’s my turn to document my journey. Before I dive into this, I would like to thank everyone on this subreddit; without your help and support day after day, I would be in an extremely lonely, depressed state. I grew so much as a man, and I hope that I am able to repay that through helping someone out there through this post.
Little bit of background on me, I just turned 18 in August and am a senior in high school. My childhood was nothing short of amazing, and I was constantly happy. That all changed in middle school, as that is when I discovered porn for the first time. I was 13, just starting puberty, so naturally, I was hooked from the first video. As a result, I became addicted. Not as bad some on here, yet enough for it to interfere with my life. As a result, I was extremely unconfident. I was the fat ugly kid that everyone seemed to pick on. I was always extremely smart, but my grades took a serious tumble and stayed low until now. Somehow, despite my addiction, I managed to lose a ton of weight (30 pounds). While it was good to finally become fit, it still did little for my self confidence. Fast forward to my freshman year of high school, I ended up being pretty good looking and extremely thin. Girls flirted with me CONSTANTLY. Yet, I got too nervous to ever make a move, my confidence was simply nonexistent. I remember one time; this extremely hot girl in my history class had a serious thing for me. She invited me to her volleyball game, but I turned it down. And of course, I went home and spent the afternoon pmoing, as I did every day after school. If I had a page for every opportunity I blew, I could fill the Webster dictionary.
During this time, I started hanging out with the wrong crowd. They had no ambition to college or anything like that, and it was beginning to rub off on me. Combine there influence with my PMO habit, and I had no direction in life or drive to do anything other than hang out with my friends and PMO. I had a bad grades, and kids at school would often pick on me for being so lazy and dumb. What more, I was constantly the object of every joke my friends made, and my confidence was horrible. However, during this time, a female friend of mine hooked me up with one of her friends. Things went horrible; she was smart, beautiful, and driven, but my awkwardness was getting in the way of the relationship moving forward. So after only a month of dating, we broke up. Additionally, my friends betrayed me, and I finally stopped hanging out with them. This brings us to October 2015. My core group of friends was gone, I had no girl, bad grades and all that. My life was at an all time low. This was where my PMO addiction heavily escalated, as I felt I could escape my horrible reality through it day after day.
Fast forward to December, and things were horrible x100. I bombed my midterm exams (I PMOed every time I was supposed to study). I still remember sitting during my last exam, absolutely unable to concentrate because I was thinking about my favorite porn star. Then on December 26, 2015, I simply decided I had enough. I just got finished pmoing, and was depressed. I decided I had enough and was going to kick this addiction and live the life I wanted once and for all. I had found NoFap a few months prior, but this time I decided to finally commit to it. I entered the new year determined to make my life better. And as my NoFap streaks started getting higher and higher, I saw my life improve. I started getting some decent grades, and while I wasn’t completely out of the woods, things were beginning to look up. Also, I surrounded myself with a supportive group of friends, which was critical.
My life then changed again a few months later. I felt my calling to become a physician. At first, I doubted myself. But my parents encouraged me to give it a shot. I started trying hard in school… and I started getting A’s! Ironically, I ended up getting better grades than the same kids who used to make fun of me for being dumb. Fast forward to the present day, I have an amazing group of friends, I am taking all college level classes, and I no longer PMO. I haven’t had much time for girls due to all the time I spend studying, but once break comes, I am going to put more energy towards that goal. If I can do it. SO CAN YOU.
As far as some strategies for those struggling, COLD SHOWERS ARE A MUST. They have killed my urges so many times and have been a great tool. Another strategy someone posted is that everyone time you have an urge, go under the new tab in nofap, find someone who is struggling, and give them some encouragement. That has NOT FAILED ONCE for me, so try it out.
Anyway, I have also decided to leave nofap. This is because my goal was never to quit masturbation, but rather to kick porn and develop a healthy relationship with masturbation. With porn out of my life, I feel comfortable in saying I accomplished this goal. However, if porn start rearing its ugly head again, Nofap will be the first thing I turn to.
Thanks for reading guys. If nothing else remember this: all your limits are self imposed.
Best of luck on your Nofap journeys!
This is for any new guy. I’m sure there are many of you lurking these forums right now. I don’t know you’re story, but if you’re anything like me when I started, you’re probably coming off of one of the worst years of your life. Whether it be professionally, personally, romantically, spiritually, or all of the above, something went wrong in 2016 that made your life pretty hard, and pmo was most likely the root of it. I know that was definitely me; 2015 was horrible for me due to pmo, and I set a goal in 2016 to kick the habit once and for all. I ended up doing just that. Now here I am in 2017, finally free of the monster we call pmo. In this past year I improved my grades and even made out with a girl for the first time. For those of you who are currently in that position I was in, know that YOU CAN DO IT. Perhaps you made a resolution on New Years and a week into 2017, you’re starting to realize just how hard this really is. Just keep pushing, I was a pretty sorry excuse for a man a year ago, but I conquered my destructive habits. Trust me when I say you can do the same.
If you’re feeling the urge to look at porn right now, go take a cold shower. I mean ICE COLD. Or, if you want, go do a little cardio. If you’re at work or school now and can’t do any of those things, head over to the new posts tab on this forum and find someone who is struggling and offer them an encouraging word. Even if you don’t have much prior experience with nofap, just leave a comment and let them know they are not alone. For whatever reason, doing this killed my urges every time.
Good luck to you. I leave you with the same expectation Eisenhower left the American troops before they stormed the beaches of Normandy: “We will accept nothing less than full victory.”
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