I am a 23 year old man, living in The Netherlands. My English is not the best, but i will post anyway. I found NoFap in February 2016 and tried to recover from my addictions. Today i am 131 days free of PMO and my other sex addictions. I am doing Hardmode. I’ve been a pornography user for a long time, it first started when I was 12 years old.
Many people say I’m looking good, but I’ve never had a girlfriend, because I was always shy and struggling to communicate with girls (social anxiety).
On my 16th I started visiting prostitutes. In the Netherlands and in neighboring Germany and Belgium you have a lot of window brothels and prostitution is easily available. Since then I have become addicted to it. I visited every month prostitutes and have lost a lot of money to it. I’m also trying to stop this addiction. Visiting prostitutes I found much easier than to communicate with normal girls and to enter into a relationship.
Since last year, I became addicted to sexparty’s (swingers clubs, orgies, gangbangs). Since then i was more interested in sexparty’s then normal girls, because i could go with a lot of women one a day.
Since March this year, i am visiting a therapist for my sex addiction. My therapist has said that I have to do 1 year of hard mode to recover well. I also go every week to Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings, were i meet other people that are also sex addicts and try to recover.
I lost my motivation over the years and my zest for life. Often I felt sad and anxious. Also, I often feel lonely.
Since the beginning of my therapy, I also still suffer from withdrawal symptoms (flatline).
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Suicidal thoughts
- Flashbacks of PMO (getting lesser)
- Negative thoughts
But I also have seen benefits:
- More relaxed
- More confidence
- Signals of girls (but i am still scared to approach them)
- Posture is better
- Women are more beautiful now
- I don’t want to PMO (easier to resist)
Since stopping, it’s with ups and downs, but I did not give up. I am still going. I also have to thank my therapist and SAA meetings, that i am clean now for 131 days.
LINK – 131 days free of PMO and sex addiction
by Abdul93
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