Things That Help Me (and may help you)
Since I’ve joined this community I’ve relapsed several times but I thought I might write a post to everyone to share some tactics that have helped me through this whole process:
- Setting r/NoFap as my home page– this helps curb my impulse to immediately jump on a search engine or porn site. Sometimes just a pause is enough to stop you or to reconsider
- Work on changing my thinking – I used to allow the urges to direct my thoughts towards porn and getting the release after watching tons of clips etc.; in essence this kept my neuro pathways interested and excited about the potential of porn and fapping. Redirecting my thoughts as they arose (starting out with something simple like replacing my rerunning scenes in my head with benign thoughts about cats or videogames or scientific facts, then working up to more complex replacement thoughts)
- When it got really bad, I left post-it notes for myself, changed my background to pics of my family or put those pictures where it made things awkward – I know that sounds weird but think about it, you aren’t doing this just for yourself, you are doing it for all your future girl (or boy or other) friends, your family etc and use that as an inspiration
- Trained my brain to use memory instead of virtual reality– after a while I think its kind of unrealistic to never fap again but if you’re doing to do it keep in mind the message from the TED talk…its the variety and depth of choice that really messes up your brain not the act itself. By utilizing your brain and memory you are taking steps to depend on yourself rather than on a tool or on an electronically constructed and delivered charge
- Lose the guilt– relapses happen but a while ago someone posted a quote that stuck with me and has helped me stay the course; it was something like ” something can only be considered a failure if you stop trying”. Combined with this is an awesome quote about perseverance and persistence:
Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “press on” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race”– Calvin Coolidge
and lastly this from r/GetMotivated :http://i.imgur.com/qRZ9A.jpg
Good luck and don’t give up!!
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