I’m 35 days porn free, and feeling great about being porn free for the rest of my life. I wanted to share and maybe it will help someone else.
- I am much more relaxed. I still have work stress and family stress and all the usual stuff. But I’m not carrying around the worrying about getting caught, the exhaustion from staying up late, the tired eyes and headaches.
- I’m happier. I’m not happy all the time. But I’m happy more often. I was really irritable for the first 30 days but I’ve been in a better place this week.
- I’m more self-confident. Porn use was really undermining my confidence. It made me feel dirty, inadequate and out of control. Today, I feel better, not perfect, but more in charge of myself and confident in my ability to manage myself and my problems.
- I’m Getting Smarter. Not literally, but with all my free time I’m reading a lot more. I was a huge reader five or ten years ago, and I hadn’t realized how little I was reading lately as the phone took over. Since I’m off my phone more, and have a spare hour a day, I’m reading more.
- Just more time. I’m not late for work because of PMO. I’m not hiding from my spouse because of PMO. I’m not burning a half hour to two hours a day on PMO. I’m not using that time perfectly, but anything I’m using it for is better than porn.
- Concentration is better. I have ADHD so concentration is tough on tasks I don’t like. So porn became a really easy distraction that I liked and could hyperfocus on. I’m not suddenly hyperfocusing on work stuff, but I am getting more done and feeling better about my work output (contributing to higher self esteem as well.)
- I’m Thinking. With smart phones, we don’t sit and think as much. Because I’m trying to be off my phone more, I find myself thinking more on transit, or after work, or in the washroom. And that thinking is about work stuff, or family, or life, not porn consumption.
- Seeing Friends More. Again, its not perfect but I am spending more time with friends. I am seeing people I like who make me feel better about myself. And I’m focused on them, not thinking about how to leave so I can get some PMO in before bed.
- Exercise and Meditation. Both these things had fallen off when I was using PMO. Now I’m doing both more. I could be doing better, but running a couple times a week and meditation a couple times a week is helping me feel like this is sustainable.
- I’m not using porn. Honestly, it not like every day is a picnic. Life goes on. But it is just way better without porn. I feel proud of myself for being 35 days free, and I can’t see any possible reason in going back. I know I’ll struggle in the days ahead, but there is know temptation for just a peak, or to test myself, or any of those lies that tripped me up before.
I’d say the biggest challenge is this: my biggest trigger is resentment or feelings of rejection around my spouse. And I still have a lot of work to do there. But I’m getting more clarity on what is driving that, and am crystal clear on how it triggers me so can avoid it when it happens.
Thanks!
LINK – How it Feels Porn Free for 35 Days
by pornbadmkay
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