I did it again! I am happy but humble, this is not bragging. It’s a way of being now. I don’t have urges at all now, but I get excited when sometimes i interact with ladies that I fancy. (not out of control though) . I tell this just as a clarification so that u don’t understand no urges means I’m asexual now.
So the urge to fap or to edge or watch video porn is really gone, I would not engage again in that type of behavior….so in that sense my brain healed guys.
I also want to mention I am single, so hard mode here.
I’ll try get some ideas here about my experience and opinions about nofap, as organised as I can and also keep it just straight stuff without metaphors.
During my last big streak which ended in may last year, I edged a lot and i had urges…bad ones…that’s why I edged. Also a lot of fear was present about health…that maybe it’s not good to not ejaculate and so on. After the relapse I fapped a few times in the next months, but for the most cases it was about edging that went too far and I orgasmed.
Video porn was not watched in the past year maybe only a few minutes which did not really excited me like old times (2-3-4yrs ago) but photo porn I watched a few times because of curiosity, desire for sex, lust, and the waves of past. But that was a half a year ago. Now I know that such kind of images won’t do me any good.
Improvements: Confidence, vitality, clarity of mind.
I honestly don’t see myself ever again watching porn and masturbating.
I meditate a lot as a way of being, so fantasizing is also kept in check.
I had only 2 wet dreams during this current streak, the 1st one after a fist of anger which I prolonged with thinking and emotion for two days. So lesson learned.
Looking forward to just enjoy myself and relax, because now when I look back I can see all that masturbation was because of wishing and wanting to achieve things.
I’m kind of bored and tired of wanting to become someone and accomplish things.
Fuck it!! I’ll do my best at the pace that i can!
We all gonna die someday…
So anyway as a conclusion I think that while urges are present old patterns in the brain are still highly active. For me it took a year to heal with two 90day streaks and one 60day streak. And to mention that in between I never went full retard, just a few edge-fap ejaculations.
It’s the best thing I ever did. Keep trying if you have difficulties on this road but don’t give up!!
LINK – 2nd time 90day pmo free and healed
by David stone
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