Hey all, after finally reaching 90 days without watching porn I thought I would share what I experienced.
The Good:
- Slightly improved focus and desire to do/complete tasks
- Increased discipline
- The ability to be more turned on by vanilla stuff
- Far less feelings of guilt or shame
- Decreasingly seeing women as sex objects
- It’s easier to regulate how much I masturbate. I do it once a week at the moment though I’m trying to increase it to every two weeks. The difficult comes in choosing when to masturbate as post-masturbation my energy level decreases and I become more withdrawn for the next 1-3 days. I need to be high energy at certain times but if I go too long without masturbating I increasingly think about it, sex and porn which makes relapsing far more likely
- Overall I feel better about myself
The neutral:
- 90% or more of my fantasies are based on porn and don’t involve me. Before I quite porn this was 100% and I have been having a few more fantasies involving myself and women I know. My fantasies are gradually becoming more vanilla but the progress is quite slow
The bad:
- Increased consumption of sugary foods/drinks to supplement the dopamine I would have gotten from watching porn
- I still have an underlying desire to watch porn. This is mostly curiosity though but it obviously can lead to relapse.
- I have this thing which I have termed “Zombie Mode”. It doesn’t happen often but I will be sleeping and then wake up in dazed state where the only function of my brain is do whatever to watch porn. It passes after a minute or so as my brain regains full cognitive function but it can bring me dangerously close to relapse and I won’t even realize I am relapsing until afterwards.
- More prone to anger at certain times. This is a tricky one because it could be underlying issues in my life and beforehand porn was a way of getting rid of that tension. I’m not sure if the lack of porn has actually made me more in touch with my feelings and therefore reacting more emotionally. I think this will improve but I have been easily agitated a lot of these 90 days.
Overall, I am really proud that I have made it this far, it’s the longest I’ve gone without watching porn. There are still some lifestyle changes I need to make such as more exercise. I do though believe that quitting porn is a foundation on which I can build upon as I have begun to adopt a more positive outlook towards life.
LINK – Good and bad effects of my 90 porn free days
by ValterWhite
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