Day 62, and a lot of changes to report. Advice to couples from our experience with “karezza”. I use the word to mean loving sex without the goal oriented judgmental pressure to have orgasms. Avoiding the burnout of too many O’s, (especially the man’s), and eliminating the overstimulation of porn, has given us amazing sexual experiences that we’ve never had in our many years of marriage.
Since I very rarely have an O, we can enjoy sex for an hour or more. We have time to explore each other’s turn-ons, and become very aroused and satisfied in a deeper way. If either of us have an O, the fun comes to a natural end, and the sexual energy between us diminishes. That’s ok, it will return, but it’s something to be aware of since that energy is involved in all kinds of personal interactions.
The post I lost last week was about spontaneously slipping into a state of meditation during karezza. The important part is that my anxiety about having and not having an O is going away. (That’s why I could get relaxed enough to get into a meditative state.) My former compulsion to have at least one “normal and healthy” O a day, was an anxiety that doesn’t bother me anymore. I now have too much wonderful experience to the contrary. I also no longer worry if I do have an O with my wife during rebooting. It’s happened a few times voluntarily and involuntarily, but it’s all part of our learning process and not a problem.
So where do I stand in my reboot now. I feel I’m almost done with restarting of my sexual life and rhythm. I still have a lot to learn, but the return of blissful meditative states during sex is a big milestone for me. I used to get that feeling often during sex, but less and less as my addiction to porn grew. When I was young I practiced Brahmacharya, as part of my yoga practice, so the control of sexual impulses is not new to me. What is new is the experience of total virility in a loving relationship. I’m sorry it took me so long to get here, but happy that I can finally share it with my wife. I’m so grateful for her loyalty and help. I couldn’t do it without her.
LINK – Turtle’s success
By – Turtle
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