Hello everyone. I’ve watched my first adult material maybe at the age of 12 and I’ve consumed that media regularly since then. I’m 24 years old now and I started NoFap maybe something around a year ago, I can’t quite remember. I’ve had a few streaks among the lines of 10~20 days, one of 84 days and my current streak which is 94 days. On all these streaks, I’ve abstained from porn and masturbation. I’ve been in a relationship for ~4.5 years. I’d like to reflect on the benefits I’ve experienced and some of the lessons I’ve learnt.
Benefits
- Enhanced confidence: I’ve never been a shy person to be honest. Maybe I didn’t feel like meeting new people but that wasn’t much of an issue either. However, during a strong streak, I feel more honest with myself. Sometimes I feel like politely just speaking the truth, even if it might hurt others or make me unpopular. I feel a stronger connection with myself.
- Dreams: During a streak, I easily wake up and remember the dreams I had during that night. That is something I had very rarely experienced before NoFap.
- Emotions: When listening to music I really feel it. I feel power when listening to certain songs. I feel the beat. When watching a sad movie, it touches me. I feel more empathy for myself and others.
- Attraction: I’ve caught girls checking me out. I’ve also made friendships with females. It’s not an issue neither is it perverted. It’s just having fun and talking
Habits implemented that help me keep going with NoFap
- Creating and reviewing a plan: I made a plan which consists of reasons I do this, threats that may make me relapse (e.g. stress, nudity online etc), tools, software and commitments (e.g. OpenDNS, Browsing Mode, Night regulations, Check-Ins, Workload limitation, scheduling, writing a journal, gateways of last resort (e.g. H.A.L.T or a cold shower)). I’ve also written the consequences of non-compliance. If anyone I’d like me to get into details here, feel free to ask.
- Connections: I talk with accountability partners on a daily basis. I talk about urges experienced. I talk about new methods implemented or changes on my plan. I think it’s very important to stay connected with other people.
- Workouts: I workout using a push-pull-legs body weight routine. Whenever I feel an urge, a workout makes it vanish. It’s also one of my “gateways of last resort”.
- Meditation: I meditate on a weekly basis.
- Learning a new language: I’ve kept a learning “streak” along my NoFap streak.
- Rewards: I use an app called “Incentive” which lets me set goals, tasks and rewards. Each tasks completed gives me points and reaching a goals does so too. I can then “buy” a reward with points. I think this helps me staying focused on healthy habits.
closing words and look out for the future
Connections are crucial. People who are connected with others, whether it is via a messaging app, a call or meeting in real life, don’t relapse. That’s what I’m always working on and hope to keep on doing so. I’d like to keep my focus on healthy habits and connections. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.
Edit: I managed to get to 150 days and then I relapsed. My mistake was getting to a point where I didn’t think “I’ll do x or y” but instead I was thinking “I don’t want to fap”. I let the urges build up, even though I was connected with other people on a daily basis. In other words, I lost my focus for healthy habits and that was the biggest mistake. I hope this helps someone.
LINK – 90+ days no P&M
by Bashi
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