I’ll try and keep my story quick and give some advice that is not as often heard for those struggling. I’m 28 and been masturbating and watching porn since I was 18, which is pretty much when I got a computer. I’ve always been healthy and lean so I was in denial for a while. There was definitely warning signs that it was coming as I used to be able to hold erections for half hour no problem, then I was struggling to hold one for the last year and a bit. Without immediate penetration I was limp in only a minute or two.
I attributed this to “age” and being married though in February of this year I was having trouble just getting aroused and getting an erection with my wife. Eventually it led me here where I had an epiphany and I gave it a shot half way through February and I am now somewhere around 90 days. I had sex during this time and masturbated a few times though did not look at porn once. It was definitely a struggle and not a walk in the park. I had 2 flatlines with the first being around days 10-20 and the second around days 45-50.
My advice:
If you’ve read the articles on YBOP and other sites you have a decent idea of what caused PIED. It took time to get there and it will take a bit of time to get out of it. If you look at a naked girl during your reboot DON’T WORRY. Honestly just have the goal of avoiding porn and adhere to it and you’ll be fine. My advice is more focused around the “healthy” lifestyle as other dudes have more than covered off a lot of other things for recovery.
1) Clean up your diet immediately: PIED is a big problem however your cardiovascular system supplies blood to your pecker and if your pounding back fast food and crap out of the freezer aisle your making that job a lot harder than it should be. I personally aim towards a more “paleo” style (meat, fish, nuts, veg, avocados) mostly because I’m paranoid about the decline of male testosterone but also because it works for me. Carbs aren’t evil just earn them through work. Don’t get worked up about what’s “best” as frankly were all different, just eat real food and not shit out of a box with ten ingredients where there should be one. Drink water and lots of it.
2) Exercise: Move every single day, not balls to wall, just moving. You should be training strength whether it’s weights or calisthenics, it’s not only more bang for your buck fat loss wise but it will increase testosterone and just generally make you a healthier person. Do cardio however don’t just run for miles aimlessly unless you actually enjoy it or have a goal, it’s not a great form of cardio and your just asking for knee problems years down the road. Sprint, do HIIT, push sled, hill sprint, use erg rowers and air bikes if you can get access to them. If you have the finances try a cross fit gym if you can’t sort it out on your own. It’s a group atmosphere where you’ll learn and be pushed to work hard. Try different things but the biggest thing is getting moving, the worst thing you can do is be sedentary. Also take care of your body (nutrition, yoga, mobility work) don’t let all your gains go to shit because of an avoidable injury. High recommend everyone look at “Mobility Wod” or any work by Kelly Starett.
3) Mind work: Find something to take care of your mental health whether that a therapist, meditation through sitting and breathing, walking in the woods… It’s only now getting the respect it deserves however a healthy mind is super important. I personally just like to take the dog on long walks by myself or with my wife where I get the sun, fresh air, and time to think. We all get worked up over things but I find I rationalize and can put things into perspective on these walks. Put down the remote, get off your computer and enjoy nature. Very few doctors will write about it though everyone of them will tell you it’s imperative for good health.
4) Sleep: I left this for last but it’s the most important and the most neglected. When was the last time anyone made a good decision tired? If you work on everything I mentioned above you will sleep great which will in-turn improve everything else. You should be militant about your sleep and not letting anyone or anything get in the way of it. By purely getting more sleep and doing nothing else you will likely lose weight, increase testosterone and numerous other benefits. So just do it. Google it if you need more info.
I come from a military background so forgive my language and demeanor. Honestly the answers are much simpler than what most people think they are and if you follow that advice plus the usual NoFap you will be a better man, a better lover and a better companion. Don’t over complicate things, DISCIPLINE is a forgotten value into today’s society as there is a pill or an activist everywhere to fix you and tell you nothings your fault and it’s someone else. However you feel about that, no doctor or person will ever care more than you about yourself, so take charge of your life and be the best person you can for yourself, your family, your kids and whoever. If anyone is interested in specific resources just message me or reply.
LINK – 90 Days, How to be a better man
by kingjoe32
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