Hi reddit and fellow nofapstronaughts, I almost can’t believe I’ve made it so far. Was gonna post other kind of post but decided to do a list of stuff that may help you as it helped me!
Making a small list of stuff that helped me as they may help others too (and myself if I ever relapse, which is not in my plans):
- Joining nofap. Couldn’t have lasted longer than a couple of days without your help.
- I took this as a serious subject I wanted to learn and master. Understanding what really was going on inside my brain. Read a lot on YBOP but also what people linked here from around the interwebs. I discovered I had the three characteristics of the addicted brain (numbness for anything but porn, everything was a trigger, and couldn’t resist temptation).
- At first when I got massive urges I found that sorting my legos was a good therapy. By shape, by color, by type. Also going for a walk. But mostly, reading and researching about the urges and the addiction was what made everything easier.
- Reading “The Brain That Changes Itself” by Norman Doidge. Great read that will change what you thought about your brain. Has a chapter about internet porn addiction. Before nofap I’ve also read “Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength” by Roy Baumeister. Also great read, tells you how the willpower works and what to expect from it and what not, and also how to train it. Both Doidge and Baumeister are qualified scientists and the books have a scientific approach, they’re not the self-help you-can-do-it-if-you-dream-it kind of book. Serious shit, highly recommend both of them books.
- Watching Eckhart Tolle talk at google: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bsf7FXPgQ_8 great to gain a knowledge of what you really are. You are not your thoughts. You are not your feelings. You are not your emotions. You are something deeper in which all of the 3 take place and interact. Breathe and take a moment of conciousness every now and then and skyrocket your inner peace. His book “The Power of Now” is in my reading list.
- Watching the Kelly McGonnigal video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5BXuZL1HAg and learning all that stuff.
I’ve taken notes during the video which I’ll write down here for your convenience:
1) Train your Willpower physiology
1.1) sleep > 8 hours
1.2) meditation at least 15 mins a day
1.3) physical exercise
1.4) low-glycemic, plant based food
2) Forgive yourself
guilt doesn’t help. let go. if we relapse…
2.1) mindfulness, acknowledge feelings.
2.2) common humanity. everybody relapses now and then.
2.3) encourage
3) Make friends with your future self Guture self is not a stranger. interact with him and Willpower will go up.
The Power of Self-Continuity
3.1) Less procrastination
3.2) More ethical behavior
3.3) Less debt / more wealth
3.4) Better Health
3.5) Get to know your Future self
3.5.1) Write a letter from your fs to your ps
3.5.2) Send yourself back to the future
4) Predict your failure
Predict failure, become a detective about it.
Track your success => slack off in the long run
Track your failure => less excuse to fail
4.1) Optimism about future behavior licenses self-indulgence today
4.2) Deffensive Pesimism
4.2.1) What are your goals?
4.2.2) What would be the most positive outcome?
4.2.3) What actions will I take to reach this goal?
4.2.4) What is the biggest obstacle?
4.2.5) When and where is this obstacle most likely to occur?
4.2.6) What can I do to prevent the obstacle?
4.2.7) What specific thing will I do to get back to my goal when this obstacle appears?
5) Surf the Urge
5.1) Notice the thought, craving or feeling
5.2) Accept and attend to the inner experience
5.3) Breathe and give your brain and body a chance to pause and plan
5.4) Broaden your attention and look for an action that will help you achieve your goal
anyway, great video to watch and rewatch. Her book “The Willpower Instict” is in my reading list.
- Drastically cutting the random internet time. When I started the nofap journey I would randomly browse the interweb for hours reading random stuff. On reddit alone there’s so much interesting stuff to read posted each day that you’d need a week to catch up. So I’ve cut down on that too and I allow myself no more than an hour a day of random browsing. Nofap related stuff, work, and other specific activities are not included in the 1 hour limit. It’s only for random stuff.
- Taking up a language. As I’m trying to unlearn about fapping I know I have to learn something new to activate neuroplasticity. I’ve found this great site http://www.memrise.com where you can learn almost anything for free in short daily lessons. I wanted to learn a language for a long time, now I’m doing it!! Also learning new stuff increases the lifespan of your neurons (Doidge’s book).
- Walk instead of wank. As I’ve read in Doidge’s book that walking that walking or PE increases the amount of neuronal stem cells your hypothalamus produces, so I’ve been walking between 30 mins and 1 hour each day. It clears your mind and is good for you!
- Gardening. Puts you in contact with nature. I think it’s my new hobby.
- Eating healthier. I know it’s not directly related, but I’m feeling great about making a better human being out of my, so I found myself wanting to eat healthier. I’ve almost quit fast food and I’m trying paleo stuff. If you wanna get into it The Food Revolution is a great video to watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSeSTq-N4U4 Eating healthier is eating more fat and less carbs.
So all that stuff is what I’ve been doing this last month.
Stuff that happened during this time:
The changes I’ve noticed are:
- I feel much more creative and I’m paying attention to loads of stuff I hadn’t noticed before, including beautiful ladies all around!!
- My mind is much calmer. If it had a climate it would have changed from stormy to clear. If it had a color it would have changed from dark grey to white or yellow.
- I don’t get angry that easily. Also I’m much more confident about myself.
- I have loads of projects for the future. Before I didn’t care about the future at all.
- I feel great, I think I don’t need PMO anymore! (I know you can never be safe, but it’s what I feel right now!)
What still needs to be done.
- Begin some serious physical activity beyond walking.
- Cleaning up and becoming tidier (for many that was an effect of nofap but not for me).
- Sort out other stuff about my life.
BOOK LIST:
- http://yourbrainonporn.com (not new to nofap but is a must read!!)
- “Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength” by Roy Baumeister
- “The Brain That Changes Itself” by Norman Doidge
- “”The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle
- “The Willpower Instinct” by Kelly McGonnigal
YOUTUBE LIST:
TLDR: Great list of stuff that helped me and may help you get to the 30D mark, what happened in between, what changes I’ve noticed and what to do next. I feel great!
Feel great, I can’t believe I’ve done one month without PMO! Couldn’t have done it without your support, so want to say a big THANK YOU to all of you!!! and also wish you good luck on your journeys!
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