I stopped watching porn on June 8, 2011 and haven’t seen a naked girl on my screen (in any form) since then. However, a crucial mistake that I was making, up until 32 days ago, was EDGING. I saw very little, to no, progress for the first 6 months or so, and never completely contributed this to edging (partly out of denial, and partly because it was second nature and something I didn’t think about very much when it was happening). So, for the past 30 days, I’ve been seeing massive progress.
FINALLY! Here are my experiences up until now, as well as some tips and advice:
- Do not touch your dick (outside of pissing). Ever. Even go as far as to avoid letting excess water hit it in the shower. Seriously. Do not stimulate it in any way, shape or form and forget it exists. Sleep in your sides/back, if you have to.
- I was introduced to porn at the age of 3, by a babysitter. For 2 years, she would make me watch it with her (long story). I am/was scared that the issues I have now are permanent, as I was introduced to this form of stimulation at a crucial time of brain development. However, to my surprise, stopping watching it was very easy and I’ve never relapsed. I’ve also had absolutely no trouble not touching myself (edging) over the past 30 days. However, the absolute hardest thing for me to stop doing is…
- Fantasizing. Even now, I cannot avoid thinking about sex, some times more so than others, when I’m laying in bed alone/trying to go to sleep. Those thoughts always creep in. I’ve noticed, the best way to curve this is to just let the thoughts pass. Rather than trying to avoid them altogether (which I do sometimes), I just let them pass through my head without turning me on… just like any other thought. On really hard nights, I’ve learned to focus on my breathing…INHALE…EXHALE.. and I think about that. It helps distract me from the seemingly involuntary urge to think about sex. Other people on here tell me that these thoughts will slowly fade, which I really look forward to. This is the hardest thing for me to kick. I fucking hate it. GO AWAY!
- I feel so much more driven to speak to women, and people in general. I’ve also approached a few women in circumstances where I never would have prior to NoFapping (on the train, subway, streets, etc.). I feel more confident. Additionally, I also get turned on by the thought of kissing girls…which was something that I never cared about. Touch/feeling/kissing/etc…all turn me on so much more than previously.
- I had my first wet dream two nights ago. I didn’t feel any hangover or feelings of guilt. I actually felt my sex drive increased the next morning. I’m not sure if this is good or bad.
- I had a serious girlfriend (a very sexually active one, ha) for the first 5 months of my NoFapistry. This greatly hurt my recovery. She was okay with us avoiding sex, but she would always walk around the apartment naked, would want to take showers with me, and was generally just turning me on without meaning to. Which would’ve been great, if my dick wasn’t a dickhead. She’d turn me on, then I’d try to have sex, go limp, and I’d feel like I was starting from square one again. And when I did get it up, I’d find myself THINKING about sex, to get off, rather than focusing on the sex I was having. It was just a very difficult situation to overcome. For me, and the type of personality I am, this challenge is something that I have do on my on, and isolate myself, to some degree, in order to succeed.
- Just a random observation: I wish “NoFap” wasn’t called “NoFap”. I feel like this problem that we all share is a MAINSTREAM problem that a lot of guys suffer from, and don’t even know they do, or how to fix it. A widespread problem, shouldn’t have a meme/niche word, like “Fap” associated with it. It requires people to learn the meaning of the word “Fap”, before they could even search / find this Subreddit. It took me 6 months to get here. If I could’ve searched “No Masturbation” or “Porn ED” (which I did search, numerous times, without coming across this page), I’d be 6 months further in my recovery. Just my opinion.
- I am far off from where I want to be, but I think I’ve made progress. I’m 27 now, and for 24 years of my life, I’ve known “sex” as something that happens on a screen. I work in music, and I’m at events constantly. I also toured the country for a number of months/years. This problem has forced me to miss out on amazing opportunities with women I found incredibly attractive and awesome in circumstances where they were throwing themselves at me. It ate me alive. This can be fixed. It’s up to us to spread the word and help others with this problem. This is one of the only health/mental issues on earth where you can’t seek help through traditional means. Relatively speaking, my road has just begun (I consider myself about a month into it, legitimately). I hope you guys have success in your journeys. It’s time to head back into the real world… no more pixels…
TL;DR – You don’t have a dick anymore. Babysitters are shitheads. Fantasizing kills me. Kissing is cool. Hot girlfriends fuck things up. I hate “NoFap” as a Subreddit name. We must spread the word of this problem and help others.
A comment & response
Interesting that you avoided sex with your GF, as many people here NoFap to get sex. But whatever floats your boat I guess. I think the whole “don’t touch your dick, ever” thing is a bit over the top, but I found my self greatly reducing my dick touching in the past few weeks.
Still, there’s some quite good advice in there, and your babysitter had problems. Good luck, keep going!
In my experiences, sex, during recovery, is TERRIBLE if it’s not the right kind of sex. When I was having sex with my girlfriend, I’d literally have to think about porn, or having sex with a porn star, or fantasizing about sex, to keep it up / get off. I was essentially using a vagina to “masturbate”, if that makes sense. The sex itself wasn’t turning me on or getting me off. Nor was touching/feeling. It was a constant struggle to stay hard, or get off, and something was definitely ‘off’.
Also, for me, me touching my dick in any way, would lead to me touching it more, which would lead to me touching it more, then fantasizing would kick in, etc… and it just made it much harder, in general, to teach my brain that stimulation was coming from an imaginary source. So, with no touching, I’m literally telling my brain/dick… “there is nothing here that will get you off or stimulate you”. Even when fantasizing…if it’s not resulting in a boner/physical stimulation, then my brain should, hopefully, learn that I’m not going to get stimulation in that manner. Then, when I get with a girl (hopefully), the first time it’s touched in weeks/months will trigger it in a way that it’s been longing for. I just don’t want to teach myself to get hard, or get stimulated, from anything other than real-life interactions with another person. Like, zero, whatsoever.
LINK – 230+ Days Of No Porn, 30+ Days Of No Edging (General Feelings, Tips, Advice, Opinions, etc)
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