As a young boy, JK Emezi was really into comic books when he accidentally stumbled across his nanny’s adult graphic novel. Thinking it would be the same as the action adventure books he loved, JK, from Kansas, US, was surprised to see X-rated images. After experiencing a sexual high, he continued reading them and by the age of 14, after he discovered orgasming through masturbation, JK became addicted to porn. But since getting help for his 14-year addiction, JK has overcome his dependency on it and opened up a business aimed at recovering from addiction.
‘Once I discovered that I could do much more with sexual images and that many more pleasurable chemicals were released when I experienced orgasm, I was hooked,’ he said. ‘The three biggest impacts these had on my life were shame, social anxiety and low self-esteem. Each of these stunted my development as a healthy adolescent. ‘My porn addiction increasingly led to isolation at school. I frequently fantasised about teachers and other classmates- replacing them in my fantasy with porn stars I would watch. ‘This made it challenging to communicate with them in person as I felt guilty for what I did. I constantly sexualised them and felt that they would catch me ogling them instead of focusing on school work. ‘At the age of 17 I developed Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction (PIED) where I could only masturbate and orgasm to pornography.’
J.K admitted that porn had a negative impact on his relationship with women, giving him social anxiety. When he turned 22, he had planned to meet someone through an anonymous sex website but when he drove to the house, his side of the car window was smashed in by someone. Scared of what could’ve happened, JK decided to delete all saved porn from his computer, vowing to do something about his addiction. ‘I became obsessed with working out and instead of spending my evenings alone at home, I would go to the gym and work out till I was exhausted. The endorphins from my workout made me feel much better and the workouts required that I eat a healthier diet.
‘I also started trying to get in touch with my feelings again. Every morning I would start the day with writing out my feelings in a journal. ‘I found that years of porn use had destroyed my empathy. This was very helpful because over the next few months as my emotions thawed out I began to see women more as human beings and less like objects for my sexual pleasure. ‘I’m free of PIED and I’m able to have sex without bringing up scenes from pornography. I’m healthier mentally and physically. I’m more confident than I have ever been.’
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