Before, I had trouble getting hard sometimes

“I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self.” – Aristotle

1. I constantly get aroused to my girl (before, I had trouble getting hard sometimes). This is #1 reason why I did it…

2. I feel more confident (before, I felt shy asking people for something, now I find it easy)

3. I have increased willpower to set new habits (before, I resisted learning polish (I live in Poland) because I didn’t want to distract myself, now I pick it up just for fun.. few hours a week).

4. I spend my time productively (before, I fought myself constantly to watch or not watch online gaming, Starcraft II).

5. I constantly initiate sex (before, she was the one to get horny…once a week. Now I get horny every day if given chance. Yet, with kegel exercises I can easily calm myself down now).

6. I am more present (before, I constantly found my mind racing..now I notice the snow falling on my face, the silence, light touch).

7. I respect myself more (before, I felt ashamed of my porn addiction and actively tried to hide it. Now I have nothing to hide anymore. I am free.)

8. I find myself calling my friends and family more often (before, I had little will to check in with my relatives. Now I want to talk to them).

9. I am in better physical shape (before, I was doing well, but I wasn’t in my best shape. Now I find having more energy to do random pushups and find space for extra workouts).

10. I make better food choices (before, I had trouble quitting potato chips. When I quit porn, somehow I had more energy to read health books and make necessary changes).

11. I feel like a man (before, I felt like cuddling with my girl. Now I want to devour her, worship her body and do it in masculine way. She loves it, I love it.)

12. I have less depression (before every few days in evening I would get demotivated. Now it happens once a week and quick meditation and journaling fixes it.)

13. I am more creative (before, I was focusing on work and didn’t want to dance a lot (I’m a kizomba dancer)…now I find myself randomly expressing myself to the music and having a newfound joy.)

14. I remember things better (before, I needed to put in conscious serious effort to learn new things, now it comes 30% easier.. it feels easier somehow).

15. I feel more attractive (before, when I spent too much time by myself I became shy and timid. Now, I find myself surprising myself and approaching people I would find hard to approach before).

16. I find it easier to challenge myself (before, I had few productive spurts a week. Now I have a productive spurt every day.)

17. I am more excited to learn new things (before, in the evening after work it was hard to push myself to read non-fiction book. Often I would fail by watching a bad action movie… Now, it’s easy. I don’t want to waste my time anymore. No more crap.)

18. I feel calmer (before, I easily got irritated and said things I didn’t mean. Now it’s easier to notice myself getting irritated and stop myself from badly affecting others.)

19. I love giving massages and foreplay (before, I never understood why would people massage each other. Now my awareness has increased and I enjoy all those different light touches, wet kisses and staring in each others eyes for long time).

20. I learned the benefits of semen retention (before, I never lived more than 5 days without ejaculation. Now I’m celebrating the 12 days of retention… and can make love for hours).

21. I have deeper interactions with others (before I find hard to find things to talk about. Now curiosity in others and in the worlds has increased).

22. I can work productively for longer (before I couldn’t do creative work for more than 3 hours..now I can stretch myself to 4-4.5 hours before needing a nap reboot)

23. I like myself more (before I didn’t like looking in the mirror a lot… now when I have changed my habits, food choices, workouts…I start to love my body again).

24. I have clearer eyes (before, my eyes looked dull and I thought it’s because I spend a lot of time on computer + my eyesight is bad. But now the eyeballs have cleared up and I can easily make that confident stare to myself in the mirror).

25. I am a better life-partner and better friend. (before I felt like conserving my energy to take care of myself more. Now I feel like my energy is overflowing and I have plenty to give away.)

I don’t like to think about being porn-free…and semen retention as achieving superpowers.

I like to think I’m finally seeing myself WHOLE.

“Someone once told me the definition of Hell: The last day you have on earth, the person you became will meet the person you could have become.”

When we stop with the porn, we finally get to see the person we could be! Full of potential, full of joy, full of life energy!

I wish I didn’t need to wait till I turn 30 to experience this…

…but then again I’m grateful I didn’t learn about this when I turn 40.