Firstly, a big thanks to the NoFap community (founders, moderators who help run the show, friends and well wishers who helped me, and EVERYONE who is here – because every additional person trying to improve himself/herself – adds to my own motivation and inspiration a little bit).
Day 38:
Main observations:
- I am definitely more healthy, cheerful, attractive and less stressed.
- Urges have not gone. However, I am more in control.
- Life’s ups and downs have not vanished – but my ability to bear them has increased.
- Had difficulty focusing on work for one to two weeks in the middle. Things have improved since and are constantly improving.
Some objective benefits in more detail:
- My day-to-day relationship with my family has improved. As one example – I used to fight with my (elder) sister a lot (despite us actually loving each other) – on small and large matters. Might seem kiddish and obvious after-effects of sibling rivalry – but these episodes would often leave a bad taste, dampen the atmosphere and block our progress. For the records – I have not fought with her even once in last 38 days – and always managed to pleasantly and amicably handle the trivial or non-trivial disagreements between us. (On hindsight I realise most issues were just self created illusions!)
- I fear less. I used to have many occasional fears in day to day life. Fear of mismanaging relationships, losses in business, tenant not paying rent, etc. Its not that I was always paranoid – but these fears and stresses were there. In-fact, I used to have sweat on my forehead a lot because of minor and major stresses. These fears or their physical/mental impact on me have reduced considerably – 60% to 70% I would say.
- Ability to maintain better health. About 2 months ago – before joining this community, I had made a resolve to improve my deteriorating health (was pretty obese with many side-effects starting to show up). I have successfully managed to reduce 6 kgs in 2 months through regular gym (mostly treadmill). Abstaining definitely had a good role to play – in terms of the time, energy and will power levels it created that allowed me to be regular in the exercises.
- I look more attractive. Don’t know about how others feel – but I look more attractive to myself .
- Ability to handle stress. Stressful situations have come and gone, but I have not lost my composure – like I used to earlier. Earlier – in a space of 38 days, I would have lost my cool and composure on dozens of occasions and at-least 5 to 10 of the episodes would be ugly. Now, I might have lost my cool and composure 3-4 times, and it has not become ugly even once.
- Success in one of my long pending projects. One business project of mine has been lying dormant since many years and I have not been able to launch it. I started seeing unexpected traction in that business – and was able to inch closer towards launching it as well. Directly or indirectly or both – NoFap has helped there.
Summary & Advice:
- Benefits are real – go for it.
- One of main triggers/causes of PMO is stress. Do not look for easy escapes (there are none). The temporary pleasure of PMO will only make the situation(s) more difficult, lead to eventual mess and force you to compromise on your dreams, ambitions, ethics etc.
- It is important to realise and make note of all the reasons YOU are doing this. Once you identify and list the reasons down, engrave them mentally and in your heart. These reasons will help you remain focused on the goal.
- Urges may/will not vanish. You have to be always vigilant and wise.
- Browsing NoFap helps the journey. A lot. People reading my posts and their comments boosted self confidence. Many of the advises were absolute gems!
- There were occasions where NoFap forum was the main/only cause of me not relapsing.
- My knowledge & wisdom about this topic has increased.
- Regular Gym/Exercise/Physical exertion of some kind is a must.
- Regular and sound sleep is a must. Lack of sleep causes the control power of your brain to reduce. It also causes fatigue and anxiety. All of this increases chances of relapse.
- There will be days where you may seemingly be less productive/efficient than before. Just try your best and be patient in those times. Consider this period like a treatment/therapy. Any work you are able to achieve – treat it like a bonus and move on. Soon, brain will adjust to the new lifestyle and you will be able to work more efficiently than before.
- I personally am trying to follow a larger picture – of reducing dependency on all sense enjoyments and finding an inner joy (tough but possible and definitely advisable). In some sense, NoFap can be considered as part of it, although it is by all means one of the strongest or the strongest part.
- There is synergy between every good (or bad) habit and its consequences. Good habits result in good outcomes, forming the platform (motivation, mental & physical ability and inner joy) to inculcate more good habits. Bad habits result in bad outcomes, forming the platform (stress, mental & physical lethargy and depression) for more bad habits. Choose wisely at each step.
LINK – 38+ days success story
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