Hi,
So this is the first time I have ever reached 30 days of Nofap.
The back story back and why I start nofap is really long, sorry for that. I wanted to share it still and go a bit into details. The reason is, is that I know a lot of people struggle, and I have gone through the worst time of my life, but I have never felt better than I have today. I felt hopeless for some time; I could not see any reason or good in my life for some time. But look! Even tho shit may feel hopeless now, there is still hope!
Why should the now and the past be the same as my (your) future?
The benefits I have got while on Nofap:
- A lot better focus.
- More motivated.
- More comfortable and confident in who I am.
- I care a lot less about what people think of me (Can easier tell people what I think, and not care if they disagree with me).
- More energy.
- A lot happier.
- I care more about people.
- And for those who wonder, yes I have felt a bit more women attraction. But I guess that is a result of all above.
It is important to remember that you will still have some bad days while on Nofap (we are humans with feelings), but your life will get a lot better most of the time. Also the benefits may come on different times on the journey for people, some may feel a lot of benefits early – other needs more time. But don’t give up; it is worth it in the long run.
My tips for other people on Nofap:
I have tried Nofap a few times before. My three best streaks are: 1. Current streak, 2. 21 days and 3. 16 days. I have also other shorter streaks.
On the streaks before this one, I never gave myself a good reason why I should do this. I just did not care enough how it went. On this current streak I have given myself a strong reason that makes me really motivated to reach the goal.
-If you feel any urge, turn of you computer / phone.
-Go outside/a place where you can’t PMO.
-Call a friend or a family member.
-Cold shower (Have not done it a lot myself, but I have used the others a lot more).
-Be careful with using Instagram, snapchat and other social media. There are a lot of triggers there.
-If you want to date, by for example using tinder, you have to be VERY careful. I failed a lot because of tinder – I am now currently using it but I am very fast when it comes to removing people with pictures that can trigger. I am not there for sex only, I want to actually get to know people.
-Stay busy, don’t be lazy. If you are bored the chances will increase that you fail.
Why I started Nofap (and back story of who I am):
My whole life I have had a very supportive family and a close group of friends. A lot of my friends have I known since I was just a little kid.
I have a lot of my life been very active, but at the same time I loved to play a lot of computer games. I was never really addicted to computer games, but it was too much.
At the same time, I have always loved my family and friends, and I have always been a person who wants to let people know what I feel about them – but I have never liked to show my feelings. Because of this, I felt like shit for some time. My family have been so kind and supportive and showed so much love, while I have been a little bit distant and escaped feelings trough playing computer games.
Because of this I felt guilt. I felt did not deserve such a good family and group of friends. I felt like they deserved a better brother, son and friend. It was not that I did not love them, but I have for a long time hated feelings. I guess I was scared for some reason. It actually hurts just writing this because I am full of regrets when it comes to this part of my life. I have always loved them so much, but for some reason I have had problems with showing my feelings to people, even tho I am a really emotional person. I can cry just watching a movie, but when it comes to showing what I feel I have had problems.
I have always been good at school, but not because I was some extra smart kid, but because I put in hard work. This year, I suddenly lost all motivation. I had problems getting out of bed, and did not get out of bed until I was going to the gym (which was the only thing in my life that motivated me for some time). I made some good muscle gains and have never been so proud of myself when it comes to the gym.
Then I met this girl who I started to date. I really still believe it till this day that we were actually perfect for each other. The last time we were together was a couple she told me that she really started to get feelings for me. The same week she started to get more distant to me and I did not know why. (But I also believe that there can be many people that am a perfect fit for each other).
This created new problems, it was the first girl I have ever loved, asked out and actually felt comfortable expressing my feelings to. I lost even motivation to go to the gym during this time, school motivation dropped even more and I was not able to eat. I was sent to the doctor since I could not sleep or eat. (She was not the only reason why all this happened, but I guess it was more or less what made me really break into some depressive time of my life).
At the same time I started to over use a nootropic (legal – but can be addictive and make things worse if overused). I used the nootropic to escape feeling pain. The nootropic makes people more happy and energetic, so it was “perfect” for me. Also I started to party a lot more, got more drunk then I ever have been before or after in my life.
After some time I got more distant to people, I started to go to bed a lot earlier then I normally would. I just wanted to sleep, so I could not feel any pain. I would cry myself to sleep for months. I had lost everything I loved, motivation to go to the gym, hiking, motivation to be with friends and family, I never wanted to play videogames which I normally did before bed time 1 hour to relax.
Thoughts started get into my head, wondering if I was worth something. When I could not express my love to my family and friends, and I lost the only girl I have ever loved. I knew I had to talk to someone about all I went through, but I did not know who. I tried to hide my pain – but people could see I was not myself. I was normally a happy person who just enjoyed life, but then I was totally broken.
I was lucky tho, that both my parents saw that I was hurt, and so did my friends. After telling them what was going on in my life I started to get better. My mother and father started to talk to me every day, and it felt very good to talk to someone. I had also close friends who helped me get trough this shit storm.
Later I also randomly met the girl I dated. I told her how I felt and she told my why she was distant to me. She told me that she really loved me, but it was to early to start a long distance relationship, since we were both about to move. But we agreed to still be friends and keep contact. We still are friend today and we still have contact, we have even been hanging out a few times after the “break up”. It really meant/means a lot to me that I am not just a guy she cut the contact with. But we actually care for each other still, together or not.
After some time now, I feel a lot better. I am myself now, I don’t party a lot and my overuse of the nootropic have stopped. I don’t drink myself shit drunk anymore, now I drink very little when at parties and just enjoy being with people.
I am also having a stronger relationship with my friends and family. I talk to them every day, even though I live another place now.
Nofap have also helped a lot in the process. I had nothing to lose by starting again. I am myself again, I am happy in control and I have a lot easier time to support and help others today. I have changed so much after all this shit. I have become a lot stronger version of myself, but I still want to improve! But I am also a bit more ready to get back into the dating game again, which I have had a difficult time with. I want to share my happiness with someone :,)
LINK – First time reaching 30 days!
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