I used to think porn was necessary for monogamy, for me to faithfully do it anyway. I couldn’t imagine how I wouldn’t get bored. But then, I quit porn after realizing that perhaps constantly exposing to myself to this “variety” of women and sex acts was perhaps creating desires for variation that I would not have were I not used to looking so much porn. Perhaps if I stopped I would actually be satisfied with what I have.
So, it’s been about 6 months, and I think that is certainly the case. Without porn the variety, such as it was, is gone. I’m basically having the same old sex with the girlfriend we always have, but I’m enjoying it a lot more. I thought I’d get bored of her but actually I’m more attracted to her than ever because she is…mine, imperfections and boringness and all. We really aren’t doing anything different, I’m just way more into it and her. Whereas with porn I had way more variety, but it was extremely superficial – in reality I was having only one kind of sexual experience with porn, that of masturbating, the variety was an illusion. Here, I’m having what is superficially a narrower experience but it is much deeper. I’m more present when we fuck, I actually think about us fucking later on if I masturbate.
Its quite worth it as a tradeoff, somewhat surprising results.
LINK – Monogamy
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