I remember it was 5th grade when I got introduced to porn by my older friends. I was curious, intrigued and unknowingly, hooked. There’s no real memory I have of when I got addicted to porn. It was approximately 3 years after I first watched it but I was an occasional viewer until then.
What I remember is that when I was in grade 10th, I was seriously captivated by porn. As I reminisce now, I objectified girls of any age, had frequent thoughts about sex and started masturbating constantly. I am 24 now and in the past 8 years, my porn & masturbation addiction worsened to the point where I could wake up (sometimes around 3) in the night, watch porn and masturbate, only after which I felt relaxed.
Today, I complete 180 days of NoFap. In the last year I have had streaks of 90 days and 69 days respectively after which I decided that no more am I going to relapse. Masturbation & Porn consumed a big part of my life and I’ve been trying to get it back.
The initial days are the hardest but a NoFap user once said that “every moment of not fapping is another victory for you. ” I went on determined helped by meditation, working out, mindfulness, learning french and taking action in every productive activity. There’s no scientific study that claims superpowers and neither am I going to. But I did journal a lot of changes in my life that I would like to share with you –
My anger turned into patience. I noticed that whenever I fapped earlier, i got aggressive. With no fap, I became calmer & quieter, not getting angry on literally anything. My family noticed the difference and I feel proud of this mastery.
Since talking about my family, my relationship with them improved drastically. I used to think they never understand me but I realized later in my journey that maybe I never understood them. My understanding of them has become much deeper and I’m constantly trying to heal my relationship with them.
I became more energized, action oriented and took charge. In effect, my leadership skills got better as I realized that taking control of my addiction improved my ability to take control of circumstances, groups & activities.
One common change is that my relationship with women improved significantly. I no longer see them as objects and consider them far superior human beings than men. They have started to show interest in me, at work or in my friend circle. Somehow, long lost girl-friends have contacted me again and they feel I have become better with time, like “good old wine” (one girl said that, literally)
Overcoming an addiction is a proud thing to do in itself. 180 days was a long time and it took efforts that I believe are being nicely rewarded (Some changes are just inexplicable, you have to refrain to experience them). My self-esteem got better with time as I took note of my little achievements and believed that I could be far better than I am now.
No Fap has become a lifestyle for me now. If you could meet me 8 years earlier and then now, you’d totally notice the changes in my life. My face switched from looking like a dull frog every time to a excited rabbit. I have gotten better at creative story telling and can pick up women, for once in my life.
Guys, leaving porn & masturbation is something that isn’t popularized. The millennial generation is trapped under the fact that it is a fashionable thing to do. But it is not. If you want your masculinity back, stop watching porn & masturbation. If you want your understanding of the world back, stop watching porn & masturbation. If you want your perspective better, stop watching porn & masturbation. If you want your life back, you know it.
LINK – Day 180: Life becomes an effortless journey (Long post, could change a life)
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