Just kidding, I turned 18 on the 31st. No, I won’t buy you cigarettes.
Anyway, it was late May of 2012 and I’d read about the benefits of nofap. I’d jerked it almost daily since I was 13, with most days in the second half the time between 13 and 16 having 2 or more fap sessions, I even did 5 a few times. I realized it was becoming a problem when it was starting to happen with Facebook pictures, and I was getting into weirder stuff (looking back, WTF was I thinking) and I was deleting history pretty much daily.
I had urges for a couple days, but then I got a huge. Fucking. Flatline. I’m talking probably 6+ months of no drive, except during a short relationship I had in August. That came in handy (no pun intended) when I had to spend time at a relative’s house twice over the summer, and spend a couple nights in a borrowed bed in a nursing home while my grandmother was dying (I’ll tell those stories if anyone wants to hear them, we’ve got a couple good ones). Glad my cousins didn’t wake up with crusty sheets.
Then at around the end of the year, it came back. Holy shit, some days it feels like my dick was going to explode. I could have probably had a swordfight with my dick versus a jackhammer and the jackhammer would have broken. Still like that some days.
The superpowers never really came to me. I still have social anxieties, and oddly enough I’m better with complete strangers than people I know well. Probably could have gotten a hookup with a 21-year-old from New York (!) at a New Year’s party if I hadn’t been there with my dad and I’d have been a little more flirty. Just today I talked about old American cars with a random woman in her 50’s or 60’s and her son at a classic car parade in another city, and we had some good moments.
Asked a girl to homecoming knowing she’d say no, she had a boyfriend. Was able to respond sharply and with wit to save my bacon.
Anyway, back onto the superpowers. If I work on self-improvement, I can actually do it. I almost feel it when I need to get really assertive (some guy was harassing a friend, and I grabbed him by the collar of the shirt. Completely unlike me to shout him down, was shaking afterwards) or when I need to be friendly with a complete stranger. I’m still rewiring my brain not to think of every attractive girl as potentially a place to bury my dick, having an extremely attractive lesbian friend helped with that… I think. Got into a leadership position in a school club, too.
Motivation-wise, I saved myself from not graduating (had poor grades, was on razor’s edge) in under 3 weeks with constant, very hard work. I now know what I’m capable of. I’m still working out for sure what I want to set as a goal in life, and I’m pretty sure I’ve got the answer, but it’s gonna take an incredible amount of effort, time, and even cash.
God, I’m rambling now, aren’t I? As it stands, I’m now a jobless, single, lazy, slightly out-of-shape (luckily not chubby), pale-skinned (thanks western European genes), blue-haired 18-year-old virgin. Almost none of my friends are. It hurts, but it motivates me. I want the same experiences that everyone else has had, even if it’s “not that special” as everyone tells me.
To wrap everything up: superpowers only show up if you try to use them. Your drive doesn’t go away forever (I need a blowjob badly right now, but I’ll have to resist myself) and you’ll still want to look at porn sites the way I did. It doesn’t get too easy at any point, and it almost never becomes pleasant. But damn, it’s worth it. I live in Colorado and I’ve got plenty to keep me busy over this summer, from volunteering for bands/sporting events to restoring a car and maybe a job. Regardless; if I use my motivation and energy I get from nofap, it’s successful. If not, I just become another vegetable, albeit one that doesn’t fap.
You need to keep pushing your limits or nofap isn’t worth it. As I said in a college application paper once, The day you stop trying is the day you start dying. I’m tired and it’s 1:41AM right now, so this post probably wasn’t totally coherent, and jumped around a lot.
Feel free to ask any questions you may have. I’d like people to get something out of this.
LINK – I can’t believe it’s already been a whole year. My report inside. Not easy when you’re 17.
by CookieMan0
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