High Fructose Porn Syrup – August 24, 2013 By Athol Kay
Athol: Actually it’s become clear to me over the last year that it takes very little porn at all to start guys detaching from their wives.
@Haniel: Might be a derail, but this is where my thoughts are now. I never had a porn problem. My wife never had a problem with me watching porn. I just viewed it as a little extra on the side since I’m more high desire than my wife. It’s way different sensations than sex so I figured just something different and I would do it on off nights–nights were my wife had a busy day and all. Usually two nights a week.
Anyways after reading a few threads here and on r/redpill and the infamous http://yourbrainonporn.com I finally said hey why not just try not using porn ( I thought maybe a month or so to see if there’s a positive change in anything). The main argument to turn me was the simple drop in testosterone. The second was just thinking about how unnatural it is to be able to click click click get aroused anyway you want.
I really didn’t expect much of a change as I was never a heavy user and have a very healthy sex life with my wife, but wow, after two weeks I already decided no porn ever again. My energy towards my wife and during sex just felt so incredibly better.
1) I became much more dominant in my initations. I don’t know if this is because I knew that was the only way I was getting off or just because I hadn’t wasted energy jerking off to strangers. But I’m just way more proud of the way I initiate and have been getting better reactions from my wife too. It’s hard to define the change it’s just the energy I have when I approach her.
2) Emotional closeness. It’s hard to explain this without getting sappy. I no longer look at other women to jerk off ( I still notice women in day to day life but I’m not stroking at the time so its not as impactful). So my wife is my sexual half. Everything sexual for me is my wife. Every time I get a random boner now I think of her in a hot dress or her sucking me or me pounding her. It used to be oh remember that awesome video the other night, or man that one video I’ve saved for years that always gets me off. Now its random boner = wife. So now I just feel really connected to her. Boner wife boner wife. That’s the least sappy way to describe it.
3) Noticeable increase in load size, orgasm sensations and duration of orgasm. Even light porn use affected this. The thing is with light porn use say 2 nights a week and with wife 5 nights I never had a break. Now I have a break 1-2 nights a week and that’s enough to really up the pleasure and make the time with my wife more powerful. Who doesn’t want better orgasms with their wife. Now that I don’t watch porn I finally cum like a pornstar.
It’s been around 3 months now. Never going back.
Athol: I’ve had a long time saying that “Something isn’t a problem until it’s a problem.” I still believe that. It’s just become apparent more clearly now how quickly porn does become a problem. We’ve come a long way from a secret stash of stolen Playboy’s.
Never really considered myself a heavy user by any means, and it’s not like I was even jerking off to it. I had a bunch of pic based Tumblrs I was following and when Google Reader kicked the bucket, I was just too busy to find a replacement for it. So the porn just vanished on me one day and that was about it.
It wasn’t until about 3-4 weeks later that I got a adult ad in my email inbox that I got the face full of porny tits and ass. I was shocked by it and that was really surprising to me. Oh I don’t mean “shocked” in a clutch-the-pearls way, just in a wow-that’s-a-lot-of-stimulation way. When you’re a sex writer and a screenshot of box covers makes you have a reaction of any kind it gets your attention. What the fuck just happened there?
So anyway, pretty much everything Haniel said above I’ve noticed too. It’s just a whole lot easier feeling attracted and horny around Jennifer without the porn around. Not like we were even having marriage trouble / sexual dysfunction / serious whatever as a side effect either.
And don’t get me wrong here. I don’t have a moral qualm about watching porn. It’s not even a hard no forever either. I’d just rather not suck down the High Fructose Porn Syrup.
AlphaGuy: I’ve watched Porn off an on since college. Never really a heavy user until about 2 years before I almost got divorced. I had become and almost daily user of it by then and during the rough times I stopped because I really wasn’t turned on by anything and then reading NMMNG made me stop altogether for over a year. Now my marriage is stable and have frequent and good sex, I don’t have the need to watch it, but there have been a few occasions where I was pissed off at my wife or she was gone on a business trip or something and just needed a fix. Too easy to turn on Pornhub and get what ever you want for free! I’m not against porn per se, but I think we have to start thinking about it in terms of a drug that will ruin your sexual relationships like a crack addict. Unlike real drugs, for most it’s an easy thing to kick. I highly recommend that all men in stable relationships not to touch the stuff even if it’s with your partner.
Ben: Besides being an awesome pun, I think High Fructose Porn Syrup is actually a really good analogy. This “it’s not a problem until it’s a problem” attitude seems most common in men who came of age sexually in the Time Before The Internet.
Back then, porn was a secret stash of magazines, maybe one or two videos of the sort that actually has a plot (even if you fast-forwarded through it to get to the good bits). It was cane sugar. Not good for you by any means, but as long as you exercised moderation and were careful not to overindulge, it wasn’t terrible either.
Now, it’s an infinite variety, every kink you could possibly want, never repeating unless you want it to, able to switch pictures or videos every 15 seconds, on tap 24/7/365. And when I say “tap,” I actually mean “firehose.” It’s concentrated, it’s insidious, and it’s everywhere, all the time. It’s not a carefully curated little stash: you actually have to work to avoid it. It’s not cane sugar, it’s high fructose corn syrup.
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