First post here, I know that a lot others probably have far worse symptoms but maybe out of the 400k people here one or two might feel what I’m feeling here so why not just post this. Also really sorry for the longass post.
I had symptoms of Porn Addiction, such as going for more kinkier or extreme or niche porn to satisfy my needs as well as not being able to ejaculate without porn…… That is until today.
I don’t watch porn everyday and I can get by a few days just fine without it, provided that no urges arise which is true as long as I am preoccupied with something. So I don’t necessarily have an Addiction per se, but when I do get an urge, it is pretty hard for me to control the urge, I will always have to let go otherwise it will always be in my head. Hence, it’s more of a problem of self discipline and willpower.
This went on since I was 12. I am 19 now with a beautiful girlfriend of 10 months. I was a virgin going into this relationship and so was she, however the major difference was she never watched porn while I basked myself in it before I met her. When we first did it, I couldn’t ejaculate. This caused me to have performance anxiety for the next 5 months hence, I ended up consuming porn again despite having a beautiful partner. Most would question it, but she tolerated it, and so it ended up becoming a spiral the more porn I watched the less interested I was in real sex, and because I didn’t have a sex drive everytime we did it, I can never ejaculate. She started blaming herself for not being able to satisfy my needs which I found out is a pretty common case when men suffer from things like PIED and Delayed Ejaculation.
Hence began my short but very fruitful no fap journey. I knew of this subreddit for a while but never gotten into it. When I looked it up again, I figured why not try it? I was aiming for hardcore mode for 1 month. During the first 2 weeks, a couple of things happened:
- I felt much more affection and attraction towards my girlfriend
- I was generally happier
- It made me look forward to something (not the porn, the satisfaction of defeating my urges)
Then on day 1 of the 3rd week, I relapsed. Not going into the depressive bit here, not because I dont want to but cuz I wasn’t. The disappointment alone was enough to motivate me to do better. Right after I did it, I owned up to it and I spoke inwardly saying: “ok you fcked up now do better”. What’s more important was the improvements I felt during the 2 weeks. A few days later guess what? I had sex with her, and I manage to ejaculate after a reasonable time. I was elated, this almost instantly got rid of my performance anxiety. I was out of the spiral.
Now I will continue my journey of no-fap with normal mode for the next month. Allowing myself to be relieved only by someone real, someone that I treasure and cherish, not an emotionless picture on the internet.
Bottom line is, while it may vary depending on how severe your porn use is. Remember, don’t look too far ahead, don’t keep the counter plastered on your screen, its only there to motivate you, not to be a source of anxiety. If 2 weeks of hardcore no fap for a willpowerless wimp like me has given me all of these benefits. Just going 1 day at a time is already huge. So take your time and keep at it!
TLDR; Dated for 10 months, was virgin and couldn’t ejaculate without porn after losing said virginity. Went on hard mode for 2 weeks, managed to see benefits, and ended up managing to ejaculate a few days later. If 2 weeks alone gave me these benefits, just 1 day must already improve your wellbeing. Just remember: 1 day at a time and don’t look ahead just take it 1 day at a time.
LINK – I couldn’t ejaculate without porn.. until today that is
by lvndr9
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