I’ve just passed 90 days pornfree after 12 years of regular pmo. What a relief it is for me to say that.
My recovery process doesn’t end here, but I thought it might be worth sharing a few ideas I learnt to get to this point. We’re all in it together, after all!
- I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve relapsed. Since mid-2017 I’ve been trying to quit porn and I doubt anyone can cut such an addiction on the first try. Don’t give up if you relapse, just try to react more effectively to the relapse. For example, a relapse doesn’t mean you should keep relapsing.
- Motivation is crucial. Unless you have a ‘why’, you will think ‘why not’ in your weaker moments. Zero in on your motivation(s) for quitting and hold onto that with everything you have.
- Get the ‘know-how’ and get all of it. Quitting doesn’t just happen. You need a plan (written down), safeguards for your devices, accountability partners, rewards and consequences, as well as understanding of your triggers and the three circles. That’s just the start and it’s all on pornfree so use the search bar. There are countless tools you must have to understand the ‘how’ to quit as much as the ‘why’.
- You need to replace your habit with a better habit. Pour your energy into positive activities like swimming, running, gym, meditating, reading, studying, playing an instrument, learning a language. Comment in with your outlet below if I’ve not covered it. It’s not just about stopping doing something, it’s about starting something else.
- Be better on the inside. I stop myself from checking out every woman on the street or picturing all kinds of sexual situations. The brain just throws this stuff at you, particularly when you remove porn from your life. Accept the thought and let it go. It doesn’t define you.
For those still reading, I know I’m still recovering. While the chance of actually relapsing on a daily basis is relatively low compared to the first 30 days, I still dream of relapsing several times a week. I know my subconscious wants to draw me back in and that’s my challenge. To keep my guard up, I still check with accountability partners and listen to Recovered Man now and again as well as exercise. I also mediate and practice gratitude daily.
Keep it going, team. It’s a better life on the other side of porn addiction and you can absolutely do this.
Kia Kaha.
LINK – 5 ideas after 90 days
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