English is my third language, so bear with me on the mistakes I make.
I came to know about nofap during the mid-2017. Till then, I was like most of you. Addicted to pornography, lethargic, had absolutely no idea about future, dreaded being out in public and so on. I tried to quit this addiction but I relapsed. Many times, again and again.
I got involved with PMO at the age of 12 after one of my classmates ‘suggested’ it. Back then, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I started with vanilla stuff, looked at magazines and TV to get myself off. Then I began watching porn images on my dad’s phone when he wasn’t around. At 15, I got my first smartphone and there started my downfall. By 2017 I was an addict. An addict with so many fetishes like incest, cuckold, bi-curiosity etc.…
I would watch porn in the night, till dawn and then maybe get 2-3 hours of sleep and went to school/college. Needless to say, I got rest of the sleep in the class due to which my grades were below average. My social skills were nil. I couldn’t hold a talk with anyone, even with people younger than me. I hardly talked with any girl and any girl hardly talked with me. I had frequent neck issues due to extreme phone use. I messed up my eyes and I am still suffering from myopia.
Then, I found nofap. But as most of us do, I failed too. Relapsed multiple times. It was January 12, 2018. I had my biggest porn session that day. I was alone at home and jerked off like 8 times. By the end, I was tired, my penis felt numb and painful at the same time, had sharp pain in my abdomen and crying. I had hit my rock bottom. On that day, I knew if I continue this lifestyle for longer there won’t be a me, and I decided to change.
Next day, on 13th January 2018, I deleted all social media accounts, broke my smartphone, unsubscribed from internet connection and returned back the modem to the internet company. I went absolute cold turkey. But what helped me more was whenever I got an urge (fantasy, thought, something sexual or just about relapsing) I immediately gave my mind something else to think about like a song, an upcoming exam, random numbers etc. etc.… I never ever, to this date, have entertained any such idea.
Along with nofap I engaged in other healthy activities like going to the gym, ditched warm showers (even when I used to get cold, though I won’t recommend), and ate healthy. Eating healthy is a big thing for me. I don’t compromise with that. So I am that ‘dick’ who doesn’t eat ‘useless foods’ while being out with friends. I am that ‘proud guy’ who doesn’t eat any sort of unhealthy food or drink that relatives offer me when I visit them. But I do eat junk food on once in a year. On my birthday. On that day, I don’t care what goes into my stomach. But from the next day, I’ll be back to my usual self.
Now in between all this, I studied hard. I am not boasting about myself but I understood that I am much more capable that I thought I was. I barely graduated Bachelors. Then I joined for Masters and graduated with flying colors. Cracked the exam for lectureship along with PhD entrance. Today, I am an assistant professor in a college and I am also doing my PhD along with it. Back then, I couldn’t even put my point in front of my own friend but today, I teach classes with strength between 40-50, 3 times a day, and 5 days a week. My confidence is sky high. Got my skydiving license last November. I can hold talk with literally anyone effortlessly. For the first time in my life I can say that I got friends who are women.
I did nofap in hard mode for the last two years. Yes, I’ve been approached by women at times but I chose to be this way. Honestly speaking, I got a lot to do in my life. And in this journey, I don’t think I can afford a woman, even for short term purposes (if you know what I mean).
So, this is my story. I had deleted my reddit account two years ago thinking that I’ll never comeback. But today, for what I am, this subreddit has played a major part in it. So, I think I should give it something back which is why I created this account to post this. I am considering doing this as an AMA. So, my friends feel free to ask me anything.
Edit: – To the anonymous- thank you for the gold. It means a lot to me.
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