Yesterday was day 90 for this year. Sadly, it took me 19 streak to achieve this goal. I started NoFap 308 days ago and I estimate that I have been free 220 days. But I am still an addict because today I relapsed.
When I review what happened since the begining, I am simply impressed. In 308 days, I added more novelty in my life than in the past 5 years:
- theatre
- writting
- learning foreign langage
- cooking
- exercise
- meditation
- voice work
- elegance (seriously, being well dressed is very important. People compliment you, remember you as the « elegant person » and your state of mind change. And it is neither difficult nor expensive : a jacket, a shirt, a dark jean)
For the first time, I do things for myself and not for the eyes of the others. The funny thing is that all the changes I did were in myself for years. But I never took the time to apply them.
My mood has changed. I am much more confident, I can look my future without being scared. When I look to the past, it is not for escape, it is for inspiration.
My comportment with women changed. I will not lie, I am still single and I still have way to go. But I now act as a man and not as an awkward teen. When an interresting girl talked with me at a concert, I simply asked her for a date when we were leaving. She tactfully declined. But instead of feeling rejected, I felt motivated. Another girl is more or less flirting with me while I did not do anything for it. But she’s in couple and too young for me. I also kissed a girl an evening I felt manly. There is also this specific girl. I like her a lot and she seems having a crush on me. Sadly she lives far away. But soon she comes back for some weeks. I don’t want any regret with her.
I am not a different man, I am just a different person from the one I was all my life. Some days are hard, others are great. I know what I am willing to do and what I absolutely refuse in my life.
LINK – 90 days!
by stanvand
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