Background information:
I’m 30 years old. I’m an academic from Saudi Arabia who earned MA degree from USA and another MA degree from UK. I’m married.
I have been watching porn and masturbating for 10 years now.
I first stumbled upon porn when I was 16. I did not realize it is addictive until recently. I watched Gary Wilson Ted talk for first time in 2019. It was shocking to me when he described the Porn addictive qualities.
What motivated me to quit porn and masturbation:
I experienced fear, severe anxiety, depression, PE, somehow ED, desire to be alone, stress intolerance, brain fog ( my younger brother caught this), confidence damage, short term memory impairment (forgetful), zero pleasure in intimacy (Dopamine receptors not working), inability to sleep without porn, short tempered, hair loss, panic attacks, weak immunity, laziness and social anxiety.
Can You imagine the torture I have gone through when doing graduate studies in US great University when being porn addict! It was a Hell-like.
I got to the bottom of addiction. No genre or fetish you can I think that I did not watch. I have memorized the names of porn stars. when in US, I used to watch porn daily. It destroyed my brain reward circuit. To cut it short, I decided to quit. I thought first that I am NOT a hardcore porn addict. BUT woow
Withdrawal symptoms:
1- Inability to sleep at all the first three days. ( red eyes and yawning the whole day, OMG).
2- Very aggressive and irritable.
3- Depression and anxiety
4- desensitized
5- Desire to stay alone.
6- Intolerance to the slightest bit of noise.
7- Flu like symptoms lasted the whole month still going on ( runny nose, nasal congestion, fatigue, chills, cold limbs)
8- head numbness
9- strange feeling in the brain ( not pain but as if something is moving very slowly or getting smaller)
Benefit so far:
1- increased self-esteem
2- Inner peace and tranquility
3- anxiety and depression improved but not fully disappeared
4- not easily stressed
5- morning woods
6- more motivation
7- browsing US universities websites to look for admission in a PhD program.
8- More confidence and determination to do daily tasks
9- No slurred speech
10- keeping eye contact
11- better sleep but still bouts of insomnia.
12- I can laugh easily.
How did I follow through:
1- Working out ( without exercising, you will not beat craving and addiction)
2- eating fruit, vegetables and honey
3- avoiding loneliness at all cost as it is a strong trigger for relapses in my opinion
4- sleeping well at night.
5- reading favorite books. keep the brain busy in something noble.
I will write another report on day 60 of nofap.
I really hope to reach day 90 soon although I do not think I will fully recover on day 90 but we will see.
In anticipation for your kind words brothers
;