Because I’m an out of control badass, and I forgot to do a 90 day report, here’s one at 97 days.
Background
I’m a 23 year old, fit and healthy, decent looking male. My main motivation to start NoFap was a focus on mental recovery after my girlfriend of nearly 5 years split up with me in November last year.
Timeline
- I stopped masturbating sometime in early Feb, after a Facebook convo with an old friend. Subject matter was casual sex, so I decided to quit for a while. I wanted to move on with my life.
- During this time I had serious lows and massive highs. There’s not much that’s worth telling. I spoke to new girls, gained confidence, and depended on the support of good, confident male friends to support me through a tough transition.
- After 72 days or so, I ended up with an entirely different girl – a good friend of mine, and we’re going strength to strength.
- At 77 days or so, hard mode ended. Happy days!
Observations
- The confidence boost is not something I can actively feel or experience. True confidence is natural and innate – it becomes part of you. I’m still thrown by things occasionally, and I can feel my anxiety at least once a week, but it’s controllable.
- NoFap is only part of a package. If you want to change, you need to work on other aspects of your life. It’s not a sudden “oh, I stopped wanking, I’m now a better person” change.
- I’ve noticed only a slight boost in testosterone; I’m not a walking tank. I expect supplementing it with lifting or serious training would boost it more significantly.
- I have become more aggressive, but also more emotional. Unfortunately this has had the side effect of changing my friendships, and my more ‘laddish’ tendencies have grated with my older friends. Equally I empathise better, and am more willing to help people. I give as much as I take.
- It’s not easy to talk to strangers, male or female, but it is easier.
Advice
- If you want to stop, you can. Exercise your will and mind and you’ll manage it. I think if you’re over the age of 21 and struggling, you have a deeper set of problems that need dealing with.
- Don’t worry about your sexual endurance. It took a week, but I’m in the best form of my life so far. I’m not hammering away watching the clock – I’m having a brilliant time with a girl who adores me.
- Again, NoFap is part of a journey. My biggest piece of advice if you want a relationship is some serious, cold and harsh self-criticism. Then follow that up with knowing how much of a fucking badass you are, that you’re a 8/10 good guy and if you want a girl, fuck it. She can come to you. You have shit to do.
- They come when you stop looking. Believe me. Get some self-esteem. Don’t be a dick – be happy in yourself.
- I firmly believe sex is a perfectly adequate substitute for masturbation, and if you’re abstaining from sex you’re not achieving anything. Enjoy it.
LINK – 97 day report
by mbubk
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