I first heard about NoFap when I was 16-17. I hadn’t fapped for a couple of days, purely through chance, and I felt much better and more confident than I had in ages.
Did some research, stumbled upon /r/nofap, did some reading, then kinda ignored it. I tried it a couple of times, but I kept cracking within a week, usually due to something that had stressed me out.
70 days ago, life wasn’t going the way I wanted it to. I was having 0 luck with women, not making any friends at the university I had recently started attending, no job, I just felt terrible. I was looking for something that would maybe serve as a ladder out of the hole I had found myself in.
I’ve discovered that NoFap doesn’t really work like that. It’s not a ladder, a magical godsend that will rescue you from whatever catastrophe you’ve found yourself in. To me, it seems more like that NoFap creates the handholds that you use to get yourself out of that hole.
Days 1-20 I felt fucking amazing – ridiculous levels of confidence, noticed women were much more interested in me, plus I had a lot more success with hooking up with random girls (I party and go clubbing alot). Feeling really good at this point.
Days 20-40 Things begin to normalize. I still had the confidence, but it began to feel more natural, instead of feeling like I’d just done a few bumps of speed. I wouldn’t say there were any huge, life-shattering realizations that I’d made, rather, life and being social in particular just seemed to…flow. It was much easier. I could look the pretty cashier in the eyes and smile, make a witty remark, get a smile back, get my shit, and leave. And when I walked away, I wasn’t proud, or happy that I’d managed to talk to a pretty girl. It was just normal. People talk to each other, make jokes, make each other laugh, that’s just how people behave. And I began to realise, at this point, that it doesn’t matter how someone looks, or who they are – they’re just people. and I can relate to them because (surprise) I’m a person too.
Days 40-60 Those 20 days were not fun. At all. I flatlined, hard. I felt worse than I had before I started NoFap. Depression, feeling useless, you name it, I felt it. But fapping never seemed like a solution. I’d be lying on my bed, sunk into this dark void, and I’d think about fapping, and it just seemed artificial and fleeting – which is what it is. A few moments of hollow pleasure, followed by guilt, anxiety and shame. It was never an option – by then I knew it was a crutch. Issues in my life probably exacerbated the flatline, but still, I refused to listen to the siren’s call of my penis.
Days 60-70 I felt like this is really when I’m incorporating NoFap into being part of my life. The first 20 days were a revelation, as I saw what it could do for me. I begun this process in 20-40, before falling hard during 40-60. I’ve felt so much better lately. Naturally confident. I’m beginning to turn my life around; new opportunities are appearing all the time. But I also know now that NoFap isn’t the end-all. It’s not the ultimate solution that is going to solve all your problems. Only you, and hard work can do that. For me though, it’s shifted the paradigm. I look at things differently now, experience social interactions differently. Honestly, I would say I’m kind of a different person now, a more aware, confident, accepting person.
Some notes:
Women – First off, the main reason I started NoFap was to do better with da femalez. It does work. I’ve had several sexual encounters in the 2 and a half months that I’ve been doing NoFap, more than I had in the entire year proceeding. You feel more confident, words come to your lips more easily – everything just feels easier and more simple. However, meaningless hookups have become less and less attractive to me. I usually just end up feeling…hollow. Now I just want to get to know a girl, all the hidden complexities and intricacies that make up a person. Just sex seems like a rather empty goal to me now. All because of NoFap and not watching porn anymore.
Energy – I feel like I have a lot more energy now. Excluding my flatline, I’ve been much more motivated to actually do shit, rather than sitting on my ass and playing LoL. I’m working out more regularly and eating better – I feel much improved.
Other men – I’ve noticed that I relate better to my friends and just random dudes I’ve met on the street.
Well, thanks for reading. I hope I’ve accurately represented what NoFap is for me.
TO ANYONE READING THIS CONSIDERING NOFAP, DEFINITELY DO IT. IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
I’m an 18 year old male from New Zealand, for reference.
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