It has been 80 days already. My life has changed quite a lot comparing with the old routine of daily fapping.
I’ve been fapping regularly from the age of 12, started off with once every few days, and when I reached 21, it was daily routine, some days even 4-5 times. I never felt actually rested, when I woke up I was already tired, didn’t have energy to do anything, didn’t want to socialize or go anywhere, I just wanted to stay in my cave. I thought that I didn’t like people, or going anywhere, or being organized. But the real reason was, that I just didn’t have energy for it, and socializing made me feel even worse, because I’ve always felt as a lesser, or not worthy comparing to others.
By the age of 21, I was already hitting the rock bottom, only time when I wanted to socialize was when I was drunk, only then i felt that I was liberated from my complexes, lost the mental barriers and was actually able to express myself. So those pretty much lead me to alcoholism. At some point I had 6 sober days, from May to August 2014. I was either drunk or completely depressed. I actually tried to learn from being drunk, when i was drinking, I was funny, friendly, socializing, caring, actually had interest in people, and people were very curious about me, because I had the courage to express my mind, and i had many interesting ideas.
So before NoFap:
- Huge amount of anxiety
- Nervous
- Scared
- No energy
- My memory was terrible, I actually didn’t remember anything, my mind was always wandering, sometimes I walked on auto-pilot, and after 2 kilometers, I “woke up” and saw where i am, but didn’t remember any part of walking :D:D it was pretty terrible
- No Focus
- Felt quite dumb
- Lost my job and my girlfriend, which lead me to even lower point then before
- No discipline at all
Now after being 80 days on hardmode, I use NoFap as a cornerstone to my other positive beginning. As a man who was fapping 3-4 times a day at low points and I don’t know how, but managed to push myself to here, I use this mindset, that I can actually make changes if I want. I drink a lot less, although few days ago I got completely wasted again, and the urge to fap with hangover was extreme…but I managed it. So here are some of my positive changes:
- Less depressed
- Memory has improved ALOT
- More focus
- I actually feel more intelligent. I’ve learned programming, but I’ve always kind of sucked at it, reading the materials made me just feel dumb, because I didn’t remember what it was saying in 10 minutes, now I grasp some things, just by looking at it. I’ve started to use logical reasoning, and finding out the causes why things work as they do, not just by testing randomly, until something kind of works.
- I feel happier.
- I have done some things out of my comfort zone: I went to Vipassana meditation course that lasted 10 days, and was 11 hours of meditation a day. No talking was allowed with others, so it was complete silence for 10 days, not even eye-contact was allowed.
- I’ve gained confidence, that I also am able to make changes
- Read more than before
- Eating healthier.
I’ve found benefits from nofap, and the discipline and strength I gain with it I transmute it to the other areas of life.
LINK – 80 days – hardmore
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