I’m in NOFAP mode since 110 days and my life has changed radically. I started when one day I met a fantastic girl (my girlfriend) and at the end of a very beautiful day spent together, she came in my place and we tried to make love… but I couldn’t perform.
I was shocked, depressed and severely worried. I was not doing sex from 7 endless years and I met an amazing woman, and now I cannot perform? Risking to lose her forever??? Unacceptable. My life needed a change.
I started to read. Simply “performance anxiety”? Yes, can be but… I knew that something was not ok, because I was not having morning erections, because I was used to masturbate on porn, mostly not having full erections. Sometimes failing to come masturbating. Like the day before I met this wonderful woman. I was trying to come masturbating on some crappy and disgusting video clip of some eastern girl urinating, and I couldn’t have an orgasm. I was feeling incredibly bad, humiliated and a shadow of a man.
My sexual past doesn’t help: I had sex three times (without orgasm) in my all twenties (first time I was 25) , and it was my first time in my thirties.
I discovered NOFAP and I studied all the phenomena (PIED, DE, deathgrip etc), read countless stories, logs, success stories. I applied the advice given here. I’ve been honest with this girl that I was dating, and she became my number one supporter. She never had this problem with any other man so she was surprised that I couldn’t have erections at all the first times we met…
Then I started to have them again but they were inconsistent. It was frustrating to say the least: if she was not ready I was going to lose the erection and maybe have it back one hour later. I could not change position because my penis was becoming soft during the intercourse. I could not come at all. She was also frustrated but she never stopped to support me.
Eventually things went better and better. Last weekend I came three times and have consistent erections all the time. The sensitivity is much better. In general I can improve a lot more, but there are no doubts that I have to be consistently NOFAP!
So this is what I did:
- I never watched porn at all again. Not even for a second.
- I indulged in some porn substitutes a bunch of times, wrong move… but they have much less effect then when I was constantly fapping.
- Sometimes when during sex I couldn’t have an orgasm, I masturbated to finish the job. I did it with my girlfriend, though. One week I was missing my girlfriend so much that I edged thinking of her. These relapses probably set me a little back, but at least were consistent in my purpose of having sexual pleasure only putting her as a target. She’s my everything.
Failure was not an option. I had some bad moments but I could overcome them because my motivation was so big. It was enough to think of her to have enough strength to resist the urges.
NOFAP didn’t change only the way my dick was working. It changed my brain. I was often staring at girls with nice legs or nice butt, to then go home and masturbate (with porn obviously). I was seeing women as objects.
Now I see them as women and I see that my reaction to attractive women is very different. I see more details: the hairs, the makeup, the way they walk, theirs smile, the taste in choosing their outfit. I no longer stare but smile, and I started to notice women smiling at me.
I feel better and more confident. I’m much less lazy and I don’t spend valuable time in very unimportant things. I’m living an healthier life and I’m learning every day new things. I am more adult.
My NOFAP journey has just begun, 110 days ago.
I hope that this thread can be useful to you guys t0 have some extra motivation, the same way as it has been very useful to me to read your success stories. Keep strong men, stay away from porn, live your life. Love.
LINK – 110 days – how my life has changed
by Adam33
INITIAL POST – Adam’s journal
Day 0
Hi everyone.
Let me introduce myself, I’m 33 years old and I masturbate since when I was 13, watch porn since when I was 18. Since my adolescence I always fell shy and uneasy, and this caused me intermittent depressions and feeling of failure. I fixed this in the last 4 years with an enormous willpower, but my sexual life has still been a complete disaster.
Too uncomfortable around women to result somehow attracting and yet I managed to ruin even the easiest of the few chances that I had. I even had a girlfriend at the age of 25 for one year, but I had difficulties of every kind:
– I could have consistent erection when doing reciprocal masturbation but not with penetration
– never reached an orgasm during sex with her (of every kind), yet being able to ejaculate after 30 seconds of solo masturbation (watching porn)
Finished the relationship I started again to feel uneasy with women, and meanwhile my porn/masturbation addiction became worse and worse:
– I cannot masturbate without porn at all
– I started to fail to masturbate even with porn
– I had to escalate to more and more disgusting porn categories to be able to masturbate
– Loss of interest around women and caught myself have fantasies for men (but without any evidence of actual bisexuality)
– Total absence of spontaneous erections during the day (I need to stimulate with touching)
– Very infrequent wakeup-erections (always accompanied with masturbation)
– Very weak erections (but we all know that we can ejaculate with masturbation even in such condition)
Now, I mentioned before that I managed to overcome my social and personal issues, but not the one with porn and masturbation. This is fundamental because I’m now able to attract women but…
… this weekend. I made sex for the first time with a woman after 8 incredibly long years.
And it has been a total catastrophe. Fortunately, she is my girlfriend and she’s been very patient. She is so beautiful and sensual and she makes me incredibly horny… mentally. No answers from my penis. Or almost no one: she managed to give me an erection with touching and she made me a very beautiful blow job but I immediately lost the erection when I attempted to penetrate her.
I feel at the lowest point of my life as a man.
I want to be able again to satisfy her needs.
I want to experience again real erections.
I quit porn and masturbation. I do this for me and for my girlfriend.
—
Day 3: 3 days of abstinence. No differences for the moment. In my lowest period of libido I was staying even 10 days without but I didn’t choose it. Simply I didn’t have any shadow of a sexual appetite. I’m having huge difficulties falling asleep. I’m nervous. I know it’s normal, so I’m not worried.
;