Yesterday after 130 days of nofap and after 110 days of hardmode i relapsed. I’m not really sad or anything. Didn’t binge, didn’t watch porn. So what happened?
For last two months i’ve been practising taoism sexual techniques, and have been training my PC muscles with keggels. I’ve come across the knowledge to separate orgasm and ejaculation, to have one without the other. I’ve successfully orgasmed for 8 times without ejaculation, having the feeling of orgasm, but using PC muscles to stop ejaculation. With these kinds of orgasms i felt something completley different comparing to the ones with ejaculation, instead of feeling tired and foggy these kinds of orgasms were pushing the life around inside me, i felt very energized and peacful after that. Of course i knew, that doing these kinds of practises while on nofap is a risky business, and failure is possible, but i’m fine with it.
My next goal is to separate orgasm and ejaculation in the start, currently i have to use the PC muscles to stop it, but in the long run it’s not good for the plumbing, there is quite high pressure that wants to push through and fly out, but progress comes gradually and by training, so i’m not setting any deadlines, i just keep going untill im there.
What did change after yesterdays relapse?
- Haven’t been that tired for months
- Lowered dicipline, skipped jogging in the evening because i felt too tired, before relapse, i would have still gone
- Shitty focus
- I’d really like to take few days off and just lie in the bed, comparing the energy that i had and comparing the tired-mode now, it’s like falling from the 3rd floor into a sewer.
In conclusion, do i regret the relapse?
I’d say that i was aware of the possibility of a relapse doing such exercises but sometimes one needs to take risks to move forward. The biggest regret is the current energy loss, not actually losing the streak, but i can get them both back, just a little patience is requried.
I’m 23. Benefits? Yeah for the first time since 15 or so i felt that i actually have energy. Started running, eating healthy, able to hold eye contact, more confident, deeper voice, clearer mind and overall feeling better. Started coming of AD-s, don’t get neck cramps with social-anxiety anymore and stuff like that.
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