Back about 4 years ago I was addicted to masturbating, porn, benzodiazepines, anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, cigarettes, marijuana and anything else I could get for free. (Mom had a hell of a medical plan)
Back then no girls payed attention to me, I went to party’s for years and never got so much as lucky once every two years. Made fun of at party’s, cried at parties, got rejected everywhere I went and ignored any good girl who was interested in me. Being a nice guy two girls asked me one night at a pill party if I would taste test the drugs for them so they don’t accidentally OD. That night, I OD’d. Had two seizures, after a two day bender.. Ambulance tried to take me to the hospital but I came too and refused. In shock I went back to the house and tried to party.. Until they told me what happened.
Its taken me a while but finally after 4 years of detoxing I have made it back to what I feel like when I was 14 years old. (Started fapping at that age) I am now sober off everything but marijuana for 3 months. Still working on that.. (relapsed a couple weeks ago once)
Girls nowadays are getting nervous around me, making fools of themselves to get my attention, and over thinking me as a person. Doing my best not to mentally use these good girls like I was used. (spreading the cheese of great power comes with great responsibility)
NoFap has helped me relies how much of an awesome person I was and am today. I no longer put people on pedestals, get used, fantasize, watch porn or blame myself for every little thing that goes on in my life. (Still working on getting less crazy, egotistical)
The one thing I can really say is I am glad I found NoFap, I feel like a man again. I take control over my life without the help of substances or internal lust. I’m talking to a girls again but i’m more focusing on good girls this time, I’ve been used up mentally, materialistically to the point of suicidal tendency and substance abuse. I’m done with crazys/bad girls. Neon nightmares man
Some advice I can give to those struggling is just like a lot of others who have posted before me. Try the following Meditation – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dclry8TsLLs. Exercise – Running, Resistance Training, the fuck you want to do. Reading – Philosophy, Sociology, Psychology, the fuck you want to read. Art – Guitar, Piano, Bass, Drums, Drawing, Poetry. Healthy social habits – Fixing who you hang out with, what you do in these situations, and your general life philosophy.
“Life is a marathon not a sprint” -Wise words from my trolling teacher
You are never alone in this, others have been there before you and will help you. Relapse is an essential part of recovery. Addiction is a hell of a ride that gets better in the end. Then the real battle begins
I’m 22 and I first started using at age 14. My friend showed me my first cream pie, then he suddenly had to go home.
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