Fapping almost drove me to suicide, I was so depressed and life was hell. Thanks to NoFap I could find strength from this community, and for the first time in life, I feel in control of my sexuality.
I feel a sense of pride writing this. The fact I can now look myself in the mirror without a sense of shame is the biggest reward of all. I have my self-respect back and thanks to all of you who are a part of this community, and although I don’t visit this sub-Reddit much now, you were the source of my strength in my hardest times.
So without further ado, let me tell you about the positives and negatives after 90 days:-
Positives
- My memory is improved, I can remember things that happened in the recent past much more clearly now.
- I have more energy in general, perhaps this is also due to the fact that stopping porn and fapping has let me use time doing exercise and eating right.
- Bear with me on this one — When I see women on the street, I do not think of how nice their vagina would be or how their blowjob face would be, that seems twisted now. Porn corrupts your brain and takes your sexuality out of whack, I am getting back to normal now. Sex is just another biological function now, and it no longer is the predominant thought in my mind.
- People say I look better. There is a glow on my face now.
- My genitals are bigger, no lie. Bigger and harder penis, bigger balls xD. Truth be told, excessive fapping makes it smaller, abstaining just brought them back to size.
- I took a girl out on two dates, for the first time in my 28 years of existence. I also managed to take another girl out for dinner. NoFap gave me the courage to actually ask them out.
- My relationship with my parents has improved. Before, I used to be very negative, blame them for everything and easily get agitated, but I am calmer now, and treat them with the affection and respect they deserve. I seriously think fapping makes you very agitated, and the relative calmness I feel now is incredible.
Negatives
- Too much sexual energy can drive you crazy from time-to-time, especially when you start NoFap. Abstinence from porn and fap drove me straight into escorts’ apartments a few times. I seriously did not want to but it was too much to resist. This was a new low for me in life, I paid for sexual favors ;( I never had sex with any of them, just hugging and mutual contact, they would always try to jerk me off, but I would stop them, repeatedly. That was a tough phase which lasted for about four weeks, but my mind has rewired a little now and I am able to control myself when an urge hits (the urges are actually getting weaker).
So that’s my story. I will strive to continue living a life that is free from self-abuse, respecting my body as it is the most precious gift I have.
So friends, stick through the hard times with mighty resolve, it only gets better !!!
LINK – 90 Days (Easy Mode) – The Highs and The Lows
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