[Translated from Alejandro Villena, psicólogo y sexólogo: “La pornografía ha convertido la masturbación en algo compulsivo”]
Alejandro Villena, psychologist and sexologist: “Pornography has turned masturbation into something compulsive”.
Madrid 13/10/2023 21:37 María Martínez Collado @mariaa_0600
Alejandro Villena is a general health psychologist, sexologist and research director at the association Dale Una Vuelta, a social project focused on pornography addiction. He has an extensive academic career, is an honorary professor at the Autonomous University of Madrid and a researcher at the International University of La Rioja, and has written several books on sexuality. This year, in fact, he has published POR qué NO: Cómo prevenir y ayudar en la adicción a la pornografía (Why NOT: How to Prevent and Help Pornography Addiction), where he elaborates on these issues.
In this interview with Público, Villena reflects on the main challenges that mainstream pornography poses to us as a society, what can be its most harmful unwanted effects, as well as what ways we can explore to walk towards a more livable, friendly and satisfying sexuality.
Recreation, enjoyment or pleasure from pornographic content has always existed. Is it bad ‘per se’ to consume ‘porn’?
That is indeed a broad question with many edges. ‘Bad’ is a word that sometimes has to do with health, with morality, with society, with women, with various possibilities. I am going to try to turn the question around because I think it cannot be answered with a “yes” or a “no.” I say that there is no pornography without consequences. For me that is a fundamental message.
There is no pornography without consequences because pornography from its beginning, from its origin, from the industry, already has consequences and already has a negative impact. It is an industry of exploitation of women, of trafficking in women, linked to prostitution, where minors are grabbed without their consent and filmed, where videos are uploaded without any kind of control, or filter. It is an industry that profits from people and does not care about the welfare of human sexuality. In other words, it is not an industry aimed at giving human beings more pleasure, but uses pleasure as an excuse to profit.
This is not an industry of sexologists, doctors and people who want you to enjoy your sexuality more, or to have better sex with your partner. It is an industry that wants to keep me and capture me among their videos so that I spend as much time as possible, so that they can influence me with advertising or obtain [saleable] data about my behavior on the Internet.
In that sense, yes, it would clearly be a negative thing. But let’s not only talk about the industry, what kind of imaginings is pornography generating? If we talk about sexual education, which is one of the motivations for watching pornography, beyond pleasure… The misinformation that exists, the sexist and denigrating model, the amount of content of group aggressions, insults, denigrations and humiliations towards women, incest, hierarchies of power…. It portrays very inhuman interaction, very depersonalized and very objectifying. It seems that, then, in terms of sexual information it would not be a good thing either and, therefore, it can also be said that viewing also has consequences.
Regarding pleasure itself, has pornography always existed? Yes and no. In the way it exists now, never. Otherwise, yes. The body has been represented in sculpture, in painting, in caves, in drawings. Then arose pornography magazines and video stores, in which exposure was limited. The time a person could spend stimulating himself with pornography was shorter than today.
Imagine the exposure to radiation. It is not the same for me to have an X-ray of my knee every year, which gives me a little bit of radiation, as it is for me to live in Chernobyl. That would be the big difference. The time that an adolescent or an adult spends today consuming pornography, stimulating himself with external material and activating his brain’s reward system is very great. Therefore, we are not talking about the same pornography we talked about before the internet. From this wider perspective, porn does not help and always has consequences from various angles: educational, social; also from the sexological and pleasure point of view.
Do you think that the increasing number of reported rapes is a consequence of pornography consumption?
I usually explain it using a small comparison with tobacco and lung cancer. Can you get lung cancer without smoking? Yes, there are other genetic, environmental and pollution factors that can cause lung cancer. Now, if you smoke you increase the probability of getting lung cancer. It is not the same if you smoke one cigarette as if you smoke a pack of cigarettes every day, and in addition to tobacco, you smoke vapes or hookahs. All this increases the probability.
This is more or less the same with pornography and violence. Can I be sexually violent without watching pornography? Yes. Unfortunately, sexual and gender violence has existed for many years. There are biological, personality and family factors, traumas received in childhood, that have been able to condition such violence without pornography.
Now, pornography will increase the probability of committing sexual aggression. In fact, according to a study published in El Mundo last year, a man who watches pornography is 2.1 times more likely to be a sexual aggressor and a woman who watches pornography is four times more likely to be a sexual victim, due to porn’s model that normalizes submission.
Therefore, watching pornography is like buying more lottery tickets to be a sex offender. You may or may not be affected. If you add to this mediating variables such as insensitivity, male hostility, aggressiveness or impulsivity, well, more tickets. I can smoke cannabis and never have a psychotic break, but if I have certain antecedents, it can happen. Something similar happens here. Pornography normalizes, trivializes, violence, turns women into objects and that is evident. This objectifying view of women is conditioned by the consumption of pornography. Studies show that the greater the use of pornography, the more gender stereotypes, the more myths about rape and the more mechanical sexual relations.
What do you think of the idea of “abolishing pornography” and is it the solution to stop sexual violence?
We will have to act from different spheres. If I have a building, I can’t just close one window. Regulating pornography, at least regulating it, is a window. Regulating access for minors with digital control via a certificate, age verification tied to identity, and controls on cell phones, is an interesting window. But, of course, we need education in families and in schools.
In the book I published in May, I created a kind of concept called “sexually sensitive education.” I think it is a good antidote to aggression and to that objectifying portrayal of women in sexuality.
It is an education based on empathy, on sensitivity towards the other, on communication, on tenderness, on personal encounter, on intimacy, on components that are fundamental in a sexual relationship – whether it is a one-night, one-week or lifelong sexual relationship. In short, where there is an affectionate responsibility towards the other.
What is the difference between a 30-year-old adult consuming ‘porn’ and a 9 to11-year-old child, which is the average age at which they start watching this type of video?
What’s the difference between an 11-year-old driving a Ferrari and a 40-year-old driving a Ferrari? Or, what is the difference between an 11-year-old child drinking alcohol and a 30-year-old drinking alcohol? Well, obviously, their stage of development. The lack of maturity they have, the vulnerability of their developing brain, the inability to have a critical thinking, to distinguish what is good and what is not.
What are the consequences in each case?
At an early age, the effect is a very great pressure to imitate something that is not real. Unrealistic expectations about sexuality, with these exaggerated images of reality. A sex script based on submission, sex without intimacy, without empathy, without humanity.
Also a compulsive conditioning towards sexuality where I use sexuality in a quick, reactive way, with regularity, instead of living it in a shared way. And that can develop into an addiction. The addiction can affect my self-esteem: I compare myself, I get frustrated, I compare my partner, I compare my body, my genitals, I want to look like them. All of that can make me frustrated later on.
How can pornography addiction be identified?
It is often said that the person who has a problem with pornography no longer seeks pleasure, but rather seeks to alleviate discomfort. It has less to do with how much, and more to do with how and the way it is used. When I use pornography to regulate myself, to calm down, to manage anger, as revenge, in a dysfunctional way, those would be some indicators [of addiction].
Other indicators have to do with lack of control. If I try to stop and I don’t succeed, if I try to stop, but I have relapses, addiction could be interfering. Then we would also have conflicts, i.e., is this generating problems in my life? If instead of having sex with my partner, do I feel more like watching porn, or is it difficult for me to ejaculate so I cannot enjoy sex, or is pornography taking up hours of my time, or is it preventing me from finishing my work? Those would be other indications.
There are some studies that talk about abstinence syndrome. Some people who stay away from pornography have withdrawal syndrome: up to almost 70% of patients may have it. The more severe the addiction, the more likely they will have this withdrawal syndrome and that translates into irritability, change in mood, sleep problems, and a compelling urgency to consume pornography.
How does this addiction affect and how does it influence the intimate bonds that these people with problematic consumption want to establish?
At the neurobiological level, it has been seen that there is an alteration of the dopamine system, of the reward system in response to immediate gratification that occurs in two mechanisms in the brain: positive reinforcement and negative reinforcement. Positive reinforcement gives me pleasure and then my brain tells me, repeat it; and negative reinforcement takes away something unpleasant. It takes away stress. It takes away anxiety.
This is how addiction or dependence begins, altering the dopamine system and then also impairing the whole system that has to do with self-control, which is like the conductor of the brain, the one that plans, the one that organizes. At the thinking and neuropsychological level compulsive use can influence attention, memory, cognitive performance, academic performance, rest….
Pornography accustoms the body to constant novelty. Therefore, a phenomenon called “pornographic preference” occurs. That is, I prefer pornography to bonding in real life. And a phenomenon called “habituation,” which gives rise to sexual boredom with my partner because I want constant stimulation, novel experience. I am not able to be at peace with my sexuality. Rather I have become so accustomed to novelty that my body is asking me for that constant arousal.
A bond needs other affective, relational factors, care, intimacy, communication, emotional expression. Pornography does not teach us any of that, it teaches us that the other is available for my pleasure whenever I want. It teaches us that the other is there for me, to submit, especially women’s submission to men, to fulfill my expectations, and that very much degrades the intimate vision of sexuality.
For a long time, masturbation, sex in general, has been a taboo. Is it different now? How does porn influence our way of understanding sexuality and, specifically, the idea of giving pleasure to oneself?
I think that, indeed, over time we have advanced in sexual freedom, in being able to put issues on the table, but I think we have not learned well how to live with that freedom. In what we call the societal mindset of “me” and “right now”, sometimes that freedom does not bear fruit because it is irresponsible, it is thoughtless of others.
It leads to a sexuality that is sometimes very selfish and very hasty. That is the way in which masturbation is also conditioned, turning it into something compulsive, into something urgent, into looking for a pleasure uniquely for myself, instead of thinking about a sexual experience of enjoyment. There is a change nowadays due to pornography in which masturbation has become something very anxiety- relieving, very stress-relieving. Sexual freedoms are very good, but not everything is valid in sexuality.
Now artificial intelligence is generating pornographic content with minors, and also with adults [without their consent]. I do not know if you have thought about what impact this may have in the future.
It is a very worrying issue and, well, we are beginning to reflect on this because it is not something we knew in the past. But it has made me think: one, about the false impression of control that some people can have through social networks and with artificial intelligence. I mean, one thinks that the digital is not the real thing and it seems like it’s a world where I can do whatever I please; and that’s very dangerous also in association with that kind of male sexuality, where control, power, doing whatever I want, is very much flooded with pornographic content.
When applied to artificial intelligence it is very dangerous because you think you can do whatever you want. Because it is digital it is assumed that I am not doing any harm. The image is digital, but the harm is real. In digital porn based on a person’s pictures, the person used to generate the fake images is real. A human is being harmed. I think it is very dangerous because there is a false illusion of control or safety from repercussions, as happens with haters on Twitter.
Another reflection that came to me is that women are once again the ones who lose. Have you seen any artificial intelligence images where a guy has been stripped naked? Hardly any. Again we replicate this pattern of gender stereotypes. I think society should reflect on this too.
We lack legal mechanisms to sanction, to penalize these behaviors. Pornography of minors is being produced, people’s privacy is being violated, content is being disseminated without their consent; in other words, things are happening that are illegal.
That your privacy can be exposed at a time, moreover, when your image is very important, your peers, what they think of you. In other words, the traumatic event that this may bring about or the damage that this may cause can be devastating. Who doesn’t have a picture of themselves on the Internet? This is a much greater risk. You have to think about the victims and what impact this can have.
Now, it is even the user who can generate content, as it happens in pages like OnlyFans…
I think that as a society we have to consider where we want to go with many things. We see the changes in temperature and we rethink ecologically how we want to act. Well, sexuality is a very important dimension of the human being, where we also have to ask ourselves how we want to act.
Do we want to turn sex into a product? Do we want to turn the body into something that is commodified and exchanged for money? Do we want to commodify ourselves? Do we want to turn sexuality into a currency for money? Well, that’s what we have to ask ourselves. That’s what OnlyFans is doing, selling a dream of making a lot of money by objectifying you.
At first you think you have power, but then they ask you for more things and pay you more money, and you end up doing things that are not desirable. There are many people who are vulnerable and end up being ensnared that way. I think it is a very delicate subject and I think that sexuality is a great thing to enjoy, to share, to live and to have pleasure. But there are some reflections that are worth making.
I do not have the absolute truth of anything, far from it, but at least we should rethink if that is what we want and why we do it and what we do things for. And if it is worthwhile for us to seek a sexuality that is at least a little bit more humane.
What are the alternatives to be able to enjoy, also as a society, satisfying sexuality?
My book is called WHY NOT: How to Prevent and Help Pornography Addiction and the last part is called “Hope in Hopelessness” and presents some of the ideas that I have been discussing. The first thing is that there is an individual responsibility: if there is no demand, there is no product. That is to say, each one of us has the responsibility to decide whether we want to favor or not to favor that industry.
Then I think there is a point of view of education and prevention, that is, sexually sensitive education. I think we have to live a sexuality that is more connected to ourselves and more connected to others. A sexuality that is more empathetic, more respectful, where we seek reciprocal well-being and not mere selfishness, where we do not use the other, but share with the other. We have to promote communication, sensitivity towards the other, understanding. A more affectionate sexuality. And that does not mean a sappy sexuality, but a sexuality connected to our emotional world.
I think that in the political and social sphere we also have to put things on the table: a State pact for sexual education, for training of minors. Well, the Dale Una Vuelta campaign was intended to do this, to bring this issue of regulation to light. So I think there are many things that can be done and I think we have to, at least, explore and look at what is happening with sexuality because we keep seeing news of sexual assaults of minors, gender violence, sexually transmitted diseases, Artificial Intelligence…. We will have to do something and it seems that the means we are employing so far are not effective.
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