I’m 6’1″ 165lbs (approx) and 17 years old. My masturbation + pornography adventure begun when i was 12 or so (grade 7). Started simply talking with a few guys about this new amazing never heard before “masturbating” and of course the hot girls on the internet.
Not sure if it was normal in grade 7 or not but thats about when puberty started for me and getting the thoughts of doing more then kissing with a girl !
Masturbating now and then was a thing but wasnt really important until I combined it with pornography to really stimulate my mind (was i ever wrong). Unknowingly going through an everyday life as a normal teenager, pornography addiction never came across my mind. I fell back simply on the idea that “well every teenager does it why should i question myself, or worse stop ?”.
Having anxiety hit me like a title wave in grade 9 leading to abit of depression, and a suicide attempt (thankful to be alive) I watched porn and masturbated to “release some steem and relax” little did I know doing this wasnt the only way to relax.
I never had a hard time with girls in my life either, probably have more girls as friends then guys (no im not gay, just get along well with the opposite sex). So other then making the bulk of my friends I’d have to see in highschool for the next 4 years, seeing girls isnt a big deal. Late grade 9 comes around and I’ve landed myself in the right crowd to attend parties and do some underage drinking (highschool eh !).
Yet through all of these activities making friends and talking to girls, the night would always end in my going in my room turning off the lights going on the internet and getting my “fix” i guess you could call it of pornography.
Grade 9 summer flies by getting more confidence, talking and hooking up with girls. Grade 10 rolls around and i get a couple girlfriends both not serious, no sex or contact besides a getting a few sneaky handys up till this point. Highschool continues on still relying on porn and masturbating to keep my “composure” little did I know only really ruining it ! Summer of grade 10 is here and im drinking and working day and night doing what every teenager does I suppose. (Forgot to tell you I had a job mid-grade 9 sorry !)
This summer of grade 10 was really the summer I questioned the whole masturbating thing. I knew at this point it had to come to a stop soon I just wasnt sure when really. Wrestling with the idea day and night, I just decided now was the time I had to quit (Early grade 11, september 2014).
Previous to this attempt I had tried several times and failed miserably. Then this blessing came and with a heart of will and strength I began possibly the hardest thing ive ever done in my life.
1 month in feeling like I was a king not sure why just felt unstoppable ! Anxiety lowered significantly, confidence increased significantly, fitness/muscle gain up, and most of all energy ! Wewh i could run a marathon.
Months 2-3 feeling great the “king” feeling less potent but still there.
Months 4-6 really test whether youre in it now and I had an experience this far in where I went soft right before sex and figured out it was just being nervous and alot of worrying that made that happen but guys if something like this happens to you, dont panic it happens ive learned to deal with it after weeks of feeling like less of a man be comfortable with your partner.
Months 6-8 Continue on strong one you havent come all this way for nothing.
Months 8-10 thoughts of relapsing the odd time, masturbation wasnt really a thought though.
Months 10-12 Feeling of being proud, come this damn far to become the person you are today… no one can stand in my way.
Month 13 just really now focusing alot more on thinking of other things once those thoughts come up and training myself to really be discipline and every thought avoided is worth something and counts !
By the way these months are of my perspective Im not saying you will get the same results its different for everyone ! Anyways its grade 12 (2015) now and in my SENIOR YEAR of highschool, they really dont joke when they mean it flies ! (Highschool the worst of times and the best of times).
Any advice id have to give ? .. Well id say these things take time my friends ! Dont rush give yourself lots of time, and patience. Theres a million things I could say to try and get you to quit/stay motivated but its YOU who has to make the change, YOU who doesnt want that guilt, shame, embarrasing, empty hole feeling with you. So be the change you want to see and step up to the plate. Things will get better and you have to believe it to see it. Quit the negative attitude.
I still today have thoughts of pornography so I personally dont think the whole 30 or 90 thing to reboot and be done is a thing. But its worth it im getting better day after day.
Im 17 and play hockey 3 times a week, workout 4-5 times a week and snowboard when I can with good grades, good friends, and a good family. It can be done, im not saying im above anyone else I just hope this helps or motivates someone, start the NoFap before you have to worry about ED or anything, prevention. Today was a harder day for me and this is what I needed to keep my head on. If you go back to your old ways now, youll be back to where you started desperatley wishing you were at where you’re now today. Are you really going to let two people screwing on a screen ruin and destroy your life ? No ! Youre here for a reason, and thats not pornography my friend !
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